I am at home 24/7( i work sat/sun 7-3) with my 2 1/2 year old. I do not go anywhere hardly by my self. she throws tantrums and my patients is running out fast. we came home from being out (husband, daughter, me) and she had a fit and I was yelling, because she was screaming and nothing would satisfy her. i said I cant wait to go to work tomarrow and my husband said, god! and i started raising my voice. he does not understand how i am feeling.and he tells me to clam down. I am so mad and crying. how can I get over this feeling of pressure?
2007-03-09 15:01:43 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
MABLE SY
AS A PARENT I HAVE READ MANY BOOKS AND PARENTING BOOKS EVEN BEFORE MY CHILD WAS BORN. THEY ARE NOT THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING. WAIT UNTIL YOU HAVE KIDS. IDIOT
2007-03-11 17:16:33 · update #1
You need some "alone" time away from the little one. Talk to him and if he thinks this will help you calm down, then he'll probably go for it. Even if it is an hour a week to yourself to do whatever.
2007-03-09 15:05:51 · answer #1 · answered by punkin_eater26 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I understand how you feel. I have a 6 and 4 yr old and they work my patience. I would suggest though as once being a stay at home mom, to try and find a play group that way you can get to know other moms and you all can talk about the good and difficult times raising toddlers.I know that daycare is expensive but maybe every other week or a week a month can be a way for your daughter to interact with other children and you can get some "me"time as well. Putting my kids in daycare helped to wear their energy out and by the time they got home they were hungry and then tired. Here is another suggestion, watch Nanny 911, because it was a big help for me.
You should probably want to set limits now, because temper tantrums are sometimes the result of kids not getting their way, even at 2 yrs old they know well enough what to do when they want something, even if it is just some attention. Start to get on her level, but bending down so that you can look at her in the face.
Tell her that you do not like the crying and screaming, and you will not get this or that etc until she calms down( this will take a whole lot of patience from you mommy, because it will not happen overnight, but as long as your remain consistent, you will begin to see a change in her behavior.) Nothing wrong with time out either (1 minute for each year.) Get a naughty chair and sit it in a corner and when she starts to act up, tell her on her height level again, why she is going to get time out and let her sit there for 2 minutes.
Yes, she will cry,but staying consistent with it is the key. If you slack on itm she will fall back into old habits. So just try and stay calm, sista.
Remember, terrible 2's last until at least late 4 or early 5.
2007-03-10 00:07:57 · answer #2 · answered by yasweetsistah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, what your daughter is doing is - unfortunately - normal for her age. The best thing you can do is stay calm and consistent. She learns from you and anger will not help the situation. However, that obviously is something you probably already know. She is old enough to know when you say no you mean no - her tantrums are her expressing her frustration. What I suggest is putting her in "time-out" - her bedroom or somewhere safe. When the situation gets too intense everyone - that means you needs a break. You cannot reason with a two-year-old, however she can learn a tantrum gets her nothing. The next time she tries it put her in her room and walk away. If she follows you put her back again and again and again. It is almost as if she needs to be "trained". It will be hard and not very easy, but it is critical to discipline now because it will only get worse. It also sounds like your husband needs to hang out with his daughter while she is like this. Next time you feel yourself losing patience and he is there hand her over, walk away, and come back when you are calm.
2007-03-09 23:23:16 · answer #3 · answered by anyareed 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
being with a toodler 24/7 is a big stressor--even when that toddler is being good. Going to work gets you away, but it does nothing to revitalize yourself. You need some time strictly for YOU. See if you can arrange with a friend or relative to take your child for a day or at least a few hours once a week and go do something just for you--even if it is a simple as locking yourself in the batheroom and enjoying a long soak without the interruption of little fists banging at the door. It is also okay to let your child scream it out. Just put her in her room and make her stay there until she is done with her temper tantrum. Separating yourself from your daughter at this point is much better than screaming at each other.
2007-03-09 23:11:49 · answer #4 · answered by Katykins 5 · 6⤊ 1⤋
First of all, CALM DOWN! She's a 2 1/2 year old little girl who doesn't understand the world and is trying to test your patience. The more upset you get -- the more it shows her she can get her own way. If you act calm when she starts to throw her tantrum, she will see that she can't control you by her out of control behavior. Right now, you are only fueling the fire. I've raised two children through their "terrible twos" (they are now both teenagers), and there are millions of other women who have too. You are not alone. This will pass. You just have to adjust your attitude toward it. When my daughter was 2 or so she would pull all the class containers off the shelves at the grocery store I went to. At first I was pissed! Then, I realized that she wasn't going to get attention by being bad, so the next time I took her to the store, I simply wheeled the cart down the center of the isle where she couldn't reach anything! Worked like a charm. You have to figure out creative ways to defuse your daughter, too. You can do this!!! Just hang in there and realize it's temporary and don't let her get the best of you!
2007-03-09 23:09:12 · answer #5 · answered by Vicky L 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Trust me I do the same thing all of the time. Just take a step back and tell your husband that you need a break. Go in your bedroom and take a nap or tell him that you need to go for a ride. That one always works the best for me. Get in your car, turn the radio all the way up and just drive for a little bit. If your like me you might cry for a few minutes just because you are so stressed but I promise it will get better. And after your little one goes to bed tonight make your husband sit down with you and tell him that you can't do it ALL the time. Ask if maybe one day a week he could take her and go to the park or even to the grocery store and let you stay home and relax, even if it's only for like a half an hour.
2007-03-09 23:10:51 · answer #6 · answered by Kristin R 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I ignore my son when he goes through his little tantrums. I am a professional mommy and sometimes I just want to hand in my two weeks notice. Everyday, you have to set aside some time for you. Even if it is just an hour in the morning, curled up with a cup of coffee and a good book. That way when she starts in on you, and she will!, you can start your day out relaxed. If the tantrums don't stop quickly, he goes in the bad boy chair. He hates this chair, but he knows the only way to get out of it is to be good. If he refuses to be good, I take him to his room, shut his toy box (it has a way to keep it from opening) and tell him I will come get him when he calms down. After about 5 minutes, he is calm and so am I. Unfortunately your first instinct of yelling at her won't work, it just makes it worse. You have stay calmer than her to win this one!
2007-03-10 01:58:16 · answer #7 · answered by lilly j 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
honey i've been there calm down take a deep breath part of your childs frustration might be because your frustrated. you need to get away for a little bit even if its just for a walk or something and then you need to set a schedule for you and your little one that fits the both of you. it might get worse before it gets better but it will get better. I dont know your child or you so I cant really say what to do exactly but try scheduling the day plan activities do you have nap time? how about disipline. Sit down with your husband and explain ( without yelling) what your feeling work something out together good luck to you
2007-03-10 02:00:01 · answer #8 · answered by cee_jae22 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to set aside a couple times during the week just for you. enroll your daughter in a mothers day out program that will give you a couple of hours to yourself to relax and do what you want.or when your husband is home leave for a couple of hours. sometimes children throw tantrums b/c they also need their space. i'm also a stay at mom 24/7 with 3 children so i know how you feel and the only way your husband will know how you feel is if he does it. hope this helps
2007-03-09 23:12:38 · answer #9 · answered by this name 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is there a way that you can get your husband to take your child for a day and you go do something fun and re-group? 2 year olds are very draining and it sounds like you have no "you" time. Maybe after a day with your daughter your hubby will be a little more understanding.
2007-03-09 23:12:41 · answer #10 · answered by wendysorangeblossoms 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need some time for yourself! Hire a sitter to watch the little one for a few hours one day a week so you can do something you want to do without her, even if it's to just go window shopping. Get coffee with a friend or relative or go to lunch with your mom or something. Most sitters are fine with 3 bucks an hour, so spend 12 bucks and get a little sanity back before it's too late!
2007-03-09 23:37:39 · answer #11 · answered by Navy Wife 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋