Do they want sympathy? Do they want you to act like it's not there? Do they just want you to listen?
2007-03-09 14:50:48 · 14 answers · asked by JLB 3 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
Here's what my wife appreciated.
in the hospital:
Frequent visits, but short ones.
Little gifts, a newspaper, a soda ( check w/ the nurses if it is ok)
Good news. Your aunt is feeling better. Leave the bad news outside, unless really important. They have cancer, don't burden them with your toothache.
Phone calls during the day, if just to say hello.
Does this person live alone? Offer to check the mail, or water the garden or shovel snow. Bettter yet, just do it.
Once discharged, offer specifics, not just let me know if I can do anything. How about, " are up to going to the mall and walk around. I'll pick you up in an hour. OK? "
Let then unload on you, don't pour your troubles on them.Small talk, how's your doctor.
Be a friend. Be yourself.
2007-03-09 17:23:51 · answer #1 · answered by TedEx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that they would want sympathy, but they will need you there to support them, to listen when they are ready to talk about it, and to lend a helping hand when they need one.
I know when i was going through the treatments for cancer i really need to hear that i was strong and that i could fight this and win. To have someone to give you an encouraging word means the world to you when you feel like your world is coming to an end, to have them there to let you know that you are going to be ok, that things will be better, that is the strength that gets you through.
2007-03-09 23:44:59 · answer #2 · answered by L S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two kind of people,
(1) who have a strong will power and
(2)the not so strong type.
Both kind of people need different kind of support.
I have seen both types in my Family.
The stronger ones just need you to behave normally with them as if nothing has happened and they have enough will power to survive and live long.
The not so strong type want you to give them extra attention all day long, ask them about their health every time, pamper them, never tell them things they do not like to hear, be sympathetic and give them a lot of love.
2007-03-10 02:11:30 · answer #3 · answered by gsha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They need to know you care, and they may need to talk. You can also offer to help. If the person is going to have chemo, they might need someone to take them for treatments. Helping out with meals when the patient is not feeling well would be another thing you could do.
2007-03-09 22:56:24 · answer #4 · answered by ra63 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there. They know theres nothing to say.- But- if you do say anything- make sure its real .. like it really means something . not like.. "im sure ull be ok" - cuz right now. nothing is ok-.or- "ill be here for you"- unless u really eally plan on being there. ANd then maybe tell them how u actually plan on helping them. If u do- u better dedicate to it.
2007-03-09 22:56:29 · answer #5 · answered by iamladysatan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell them it will all work out. Tell them it's a rotten bit of luck and God must be a fool to do this to you. Tell them you love and revere them. (If you do.) Tell them you know they don't have any time to waste and that you'll stick with them through all the hard and painful episodes. Ask them if they would please keep a journal occasionally and let you read it. Assure them that you'll always respect them and respect their wishes as to treatment, non-treatment, pain management, and final arrangements.
2007-03-09 23:04:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listening is best.
Offer help - "Let me know if I can do anything for you"
"I'm here for you if you want to talk" is good if they are not talking about it.
Do not say "It will be ok" - you don't know that.
Don't say "That's terrible" - they know that and usually don't need to hear it.
Don't say "you must fell terrible" - maybe they don't. Don't assume you know - ask "how are you feeling about this"
2007-03-09 22:56:24 · answer #7 · answered by Raina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming from a cancer patient...Your response could be "That Sucks,(its honest), I love you and don't know what I can do to help, what can I do?"
2007-03-10 01:26:18 · answer #8 · answered by Grandma Shorty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for them, listen, be supportive. Whatever you do though, DON'T tell them you understand or know how they feel unless you really do.
2007-03-09 22:59:02 · answer #9 · answered by punkin_eater26 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that you will give them anything they ask for. Tell them that a fellow cancer patient is praying for them.
2007-03-09 23:51:13 · answer #10 · answered by Patgar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋