Long distant relationship! Has anyone done it? What's your take on it, because i need help?

Question

I need advice on an issue:

Firstly, it's a girl asking this. I'm dating this guy who is three years older than me; it's a long distant relationship. The start of the relationship was great; we talked long hours on the phone and everything was fun, sweet, and cool. But lately everything has been going downhill; it's begining to get boring (at least for me), so i was just wondering if anyone had ideas on how to rekindle a long distant relationship? Also, it just occured to me; will i know if he starts cheating on me ... are there any signs ... it's my first long distant relationship, so i was just wondering. I really want this to work because he's such a great guy and I absolutely love him; i just don't want to be blinded by my love for him.

Thanks guys.

Answer 1

Making long distance relationships last depends on the maturity level of both individuals, as well as the trust level. If you aren't 100% committed to the relationship, it will fizzle. If either one of you isn't trusting of the other, it will die. I recommend it only if you know that you guys are committed to eachother and a long term relationship with eachother. That doesn't mean it won't last, though. If money for travel to see each other is an issue, things can get rough. I recommend not spending every moment talking on the phone. Get out and live your lives, have fun with your friends, and don't think about how much time you spend apart.

If you're comfortable with it, and you are on this level, consider things like roleplaying over the internet or phone sex to keep that part of your relationship interesting.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Long distance relationships are extremely hard, especially when the loneliness starts to creep up on you. The idea of having someone love you and having them show you they do, are two totally different things. Maybe there is a way of meeting up (in the middle) for the weekend. that way you both can feel the excitement of being together again- that should put the fire back and remove all negative thoughts(such as CHEATING) out of the way. You will be reminded of why you are together instead.

Answer 3

Long distant relationships are hard and I think hardly ever work I am sorry to say. It is very hard to rekindle a relationship over the phone. With regards to him cheating on you and how will you be able to tell I think it will be hard to tell but if he starts not calling and the phone calls get shorter then I think this could be a tell tale sign. My advise would be find someone close to home. Good luck

Answer 4

I'll tell you from expeience my friend. I was living in NY. I met a girl from another state and we hit off. We kept it going for 2 years before I packed up and moved to be with her. After about 1 year all the things about her changed all the things I liked. And I realized, I never really knew her and her me. How could I? Reationships take lots of time to develope and lots of contact to see if that person is right for you and you them.

You can't do that from a distance. if you ask queations, it seems that they always have to right answers. Now I'm trying to get back to my hood and it isn't easy and she till this day doesn't realize the sacifice that I made to be with her... My advice cut and skip. Later.

Answer 5

Can be hard work and very expensive.
..and if you don't mind the travelling, go for it.
I have been in a long distance relationship for the past 8 years or so.
I have been fortunate to be able to be with my loved one for 2 weeks every 8 weeks.
I live in the UK..she lives in USA.
Treat the place as my second home now.
I long for the day I could be there permanently

Answer 6

I had a long distant relationship and it ended up in marriage.
It is hard to make it work of course, but both you and him need to be committed to it. Also you could try and meet personally. I didn't meet my him personally until a year after we started talking. It was a good thing and it really worked that way. You have to be careful as you don't know if he might a psycho in reality. Why don't you suggest meeting?.
Unfortunately it's impossible to know if he's cheating on you unless you confront him.

Answer 7

I think you know they are going off you (and getting with someone else) if they don't make every opportunity to visit and fob you off with telephone calls. If you try being less available on the phone usually reels them back in. If you are 'out' (even if you aint) then they are left wondering. If you shorten the calls as well sometimes because you are 'busy' that also works. Do not be a patsy as they will take you for granted.

Answer 8

I don't think it works..It didn't work for me. I broke up with my fiancee 3 years ago,after we had been engaged for 1 year. It was the worst time of my life, I felt lonely , sad and miserable. At the beginning it was fine he phoned all the time , but after a while it was boring ..I got depressed and I just felt I cant go one I wanted him near me, specially at the weekends , then I just couldn't cope and eventually we broke up.There were other issues in our relationship, but if we had been together may be it had worked for us.This is my experience..I don't know ..may be it will work for you. Good luck.

Answer 9

hi.. i'm in a long distance relationship for 3 years..

when we separated 2 years ago, we talked about it.. honesty is the key.. if he tells u he's not seeing anyone.. then believe him.. you won't know if he's cheating unless someone tells u or he personally tells u (which is a rare case)

my advice: just talk to him, tell him that if he finds someone else while you're not there, he should tell you and not hide it from you. you should do the same thing..

i love my BF very much.. but if he does find someone else, i can't do anything about it ... my ex- BF was also long distance.. he met someone else, told me and we broke up. I think you just have to talk it out.. maintain communication..
he comes to visit me twice a year.. and i visit him too..

i met his mom, he met my parents and we have plans to get married soon

good luck and i hope everything works out.

Answer 10

I had a long distance relationship with my ex-wife for years...........it was the best time of my life.....then we moved in together and it just didn't work out...............now after 6 years apart we text and email all the time...........but just as friends, sometimes just being pen pals is the only way 2 people can have a relationship