I have 3 kids under 3. People seem to expect too much of my 3 year old because he is the oldest. What to do?

Question

My oldest sone is only 3, yet other people are always telling him how to behave and that he should know better because he is the oldest. I think that because his siblings are so close in age that people forget that he is still young. He is a very good child who has minor, typical 3 year old issues. How can I get people to remember his age and lay off?

Answer 1

Tell them. Remind them that he is only 3 and that you expect him to act this way. Being an older child is difficult and that no matter what he is allways your baby, no matter how many children you have. He was the first. Expect nothing from other people opinions, but trust your own.

Answer 2

I also had three kids under three. The biggest thing I wold suggest is to let your son know he is doing great. So many people will say things and I think it is important to correct them, but I think it is even bigger to address to your son that he is just fine and smart as ever. Children pick up on so many things and understand more than we realize. After someone says something, you could correct them, that "he is three." and then I you could address something to him or talk to him about what a great son he is, and such. The biggest thing is no matter what people say, we are responsible for how WE react and what WE want to teach our children and what WE expect of them. He will listen to you and take what you say over what strangers. I am sure you are doing a great job - and for those of us who have been there - hang in there. I know it is hard at times, but my three oldest are 4,5,6. And they have SO MUCH fun together now. It gets so much easier. I always say - you sow now, and reap so much good later. It gets easier on marriage life too! :)

Answer 3

If I had to guess when people get onto him the most is when his younger siblings are doing something wrong he does it too even though he knows he shouldn't. That is what my in-laws do to my son. My neice(who is 3, my son is almost 4) gets away with everything and the second my son does it he gets yelled at and they just can't believe that he did it. My best responses are "He's just excited" and my favorite "He's only three" Keep reminding them of his age and maybe eventually they will get it through there head.

Answer 4

First of all buy a t.v. lol Secondly I kinda have the same problem I take care of two boys and my mom is always calling the oldest one stupid. But he is only three and compared to other children his age he is really smart. My mom just thinks children should be born obidient and smart. I guess all kids are different and some people just expect that children should be born completely equal to an adult I say leave them alone and let them discover themselves. GL

Answer 5

I have a similiar problem with my 2.5 year old son. He looks older and speaks very clearing, so people always expect him to act better - not like the 2-1/2 that he is. I try to say something to my son loud enough for the person to hear to the effect of "I know you are trying, let's keep trying, you are only 2!". Best of luck!

Answer 6

You tell them to LAY OFF! I have 7 kids(6 age 6 and under) Sometimes people forget my 6 year old son is 6 because he is very tall for his age. They assume he is older...and when he acts like a 6 year old they tell him to grow up and make other unneccesary comments. Just tell people that your son is a wonderful big brother and thats all that matters

Answer 7

Hello Super Mom hahaha How do you do it???
Ok back to your ? you need to stand up for your son he's little ,what do they expect of him ,he's sharing mommy with two other siblings which must be hard on him,he's not getting all the attention so that's probably why he at times misbehaves,and that is so normal.

People need to mind there own business,
do these people come in to help you with your 3 kids, probably not.Don't worry about what people say !

Answer 8

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Answer 9

Every kid learns at his or her own pace and I'd bet your son is just fine! My nephew is 3 and he does typical 3-yr-old things. I would tell the people who have enough nerve to say such things to try being a mom to 3 kids 3 and under. It's not an easy job with one.. and honestly.. whose place is it for anyone to pass such judgements anyways? I think it's rude. I'd be blunt with them and say what's on your mind.

Answer 10

it is non of people's business. he is three years old. period.. he should act his age and not expect him to act any older.. enjoy the childhood.. i hate it when people say stuff like that... oh he should help out or he should behave... to show the other kids... you tell them that it is non of their business and he is 3 not 8. but be nice about it and if not.. be mean.. put them in their place.. some people meddle and dont need to.. ignore them..