To all the people that have been cheated on!!!!?

Question

kk......well my GF was cheated on by her "first love" after they went out for a yr.....4 months later, she found me......we've been goin out for 4 months and its been amazing...at first she said she still had feelings for her ex but then she decided it was time to move on and commit to me....she gave me her email pw awhile back but i never checked it till today...she has a folder called "special" ...and in it is all the emails she got from him.....is this normal?? or should she have deleted them if she was really 100% over him??

Answer 1

First love's are tough to get over.

Look at the bright side, she gave you her password because she trusts you with everything...I think she knew you would find it eventually and wants to see how you would react.

Maybe it's her way to see if you would actually look into her personal stuff...girls are tricky.

I hate to say it, but she's probably not over him yet...that's why she's holding onto those "special" emails.

Answer 2

That's kind of funny. Two months ago I caught my ex cheating, and we have been back and forth. I have a folder in my email, entitled, "Special", with messages only from him and about things we planned together. I created it early on because he was special to me. However, I had forgotten about this folder, which I haven't accessed in months, until this post. In my case, I still love my ex, but the folder is mostly irrelevant. There are much larger indicators of my feelings, and I make that known by being honest about it. Also, I'm not seeing anyone... But to answer your question, it depends on a lot of things. Are you sure she even looks at that folder? The last message could be months old. If, however, you noticed in your snooping that she has saved very recent emails, she probably still keeps a special place in her heart.

End point, evaluate her character and the way she treats you. She gave you her password, exclusive access to all her secrets. That means she would either have a sign on her head, "I'm cheating, please catch me!", or she is doing nothing she percieves as wrong and doesn't care what you see.

Answer 3

hmmmm... good question. It actually varies from person to person. But in this case, you'd have to keep in mind that they still had something in the past. I guess you would consider that she should have deleted the folder, since you guys have been together already for four months, but remember also that they also had one full year of their lives together - plus the fact that he was her first "love." so regarding the question, i think with her, it is perfectly normal, although you should tell her about it and discuss it between yourselves. I'm sure she'd soon take care of the "excess baggage" in time.

Answer 4

It sounds bad, and could be bad.
But maybe she is over him , but is keeping E-mails as memories. If she is still E-mailing him back, you might have a problem.

But if you were 50 and just married a woman who lost her husband a couple of years back.(like Death), Would you expect he to destroy all the love letters she has of him?
Would it bother you, if on the date of her old wedding anniversary, she went into a different room and spent a couple of hours reading and remembering?

No one can lose their past, and life teaches us many things, and we learn and move on, but like to revisit things, both good and bad.

So if she is only saving stuff from the past, instead of keeping past relationships active here in your lives. Don't worry about it.

If she has a secret computer life with him, find someone else.

Answer 5

We women like to hold on to things like that and why should it bother you it's only words .I'm sorry I can't believe I said that to you .It would very much bother me and I would want to no why she finds the need to keep something like that.If I were you I would ask her to get Read of it for me. If she does that without a fuss then you no she is ready to move on but on the other hand if she puts up a fuss then you have a real problem on your hands and you should take a brake from each other to see where the two of you are in this relationship.

Answer 6

She gave you her password- she is obviously not trying to hide anything there.
Just because she has saved those emails doesn't mean she reads them everyday. You've only gone out for four months. She may still need time to let past memories go. Give her some time and get to know her better.

Answer 7

Don't ask your GF to delete her memories. You too have memories that you want to hang on to that she doesn't know about. Would it be fair of her to ask you to delete your memories/throw them in the trash when she finds them?? Just let it be. They are memories, they are in the past. You are in the present and you are real. Focus on that. Ps. sharing passwords is not goo for any relationship. You need some level of privacy even from your lover. How can you build trust if you don't allow room for trust building?

Answer 8

Maybe keeping those emails is a reminder of their relationship and the way it ended. A lot of people keep old love letters. I just found about 100 of them from my ex when I was going through a box the other day. She will get rid of them in time. If you had anything to worry about she wouldn't have given you her password.

Answer 9

Honesty is the biggest thing people lack when it comes to relationships sadly, if she didnt still love and care about him she would have nothing to hide and be upfront with you.

And ex should be and is an ex for a reason. If she cant be honest with you, and only wants to lead you on, you be honest with her and tell her your not gonna waste your time on someone that doesnt really wanna be with you.

If she cant be honest, find someone who will be.

Answer 10

It's normal. It's been over 3 years since me and my first love broke up, and I think I still have a few saved emails from him.

I also kept a lot of his notes that he wrote me in high school.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, really. It's just for memories.