Moms that work and stay at home?

Question

I know this has been an ongoing debate about which is harder, going to work and raising kids or being a stay at home mom. Just wondering what some of you thought about it and why. I used to work full time with 2 children, do ALL the cleaning and half of the cooking, plus I was the driver to and from daycare and getting them ready every day and then going to work. So I can say i've done it both ways and I really think staying at home is harder. There is no relief. You don't get a day off, a sick day, you take your work with you on vacation, and so on. Yes you can PAY a sitter to get away. It's the only job I know that you don't get paid to do, and you have to pay to take time away! LOL!!!

Answer 1

I, too, have done it both ways and yes, being at home is "harder" in that there is little adult contact, cleaning and cooking aren't that fun, but I know I will never regret it. On my deathbed I know I won't say, "Gee, I wish I had kept working full time and earning more $ to enrich the corporation." But I know I WILL say, "I'm so glad I had the time with my kid." The time when our kids are young and need us is so very fleeting, so it's worth it to be there while it lasts.

Hang in there, and good luck!

Answer 2

I have done both. I was told by my motherinlaw when I had my oldest that I "needed" to go out and get a job. Stupid butt that I was, I did. When the second one was born I told my spouse that I wanted to stay home with them, at least til they went to school so that I could then go back and finish getting my degree in teaching. I was halfway through. We then decided that I should homeschool them. They are 10 and 9 and I have found that it is way harder to stay home then it is to get a job. We only have one income, but it really doesn't matter because my spouse makes a decent living. As may have been stated before, there are no set vacation days or sick days or Paid Time Off. But the honor that I have seeing my boys grow up, teaching them the skills they need to make it in this world, and knowing that at least one of us was always there for them is the biggest payoff ever! My hats are off to all the other stay at home moms and the many hats THEY wear!

P.S. I still do all the other stuff, I consider it part of my job and my spouse PAYS well.

Answer 3

To some degree, other moms may be a little jealous! Not everyone can afford to be a stay at home mom, and as in your case, afford to be a working mom! The argument is a long standing one, and you'll find rude people that don't have the ability to respect your decision. If it feels right to you, don't worry about other's opinions. Doing the best by your child is the most important. I'm due in November, and am struggling with the same decision. I'm considering part-time to satisfy both needs. You can always make money, but you can't always make up for lost time!

Answer 4

Like you I have also been both a working Mom and now I am a stay at home Mom. I have to say that no matter which you are they both are hard in there own way. But I believe in our family that the rewards are better that I am home every day. The kids are much happier and even though they are in school now full time its the fact that if they need me for any reason I am here. I think both parents should decide whats best for their families. And that neither is better or worse. They both have benefits and faults. And the key is to be happy in your decision and the children will be the benefactors.

Answer 5

Yeah I been doing that for 9 years & I run a home childcare & yes it is hard becuse u are expected to be s supermom & robot to all. & I also get told one minute by my husband he can't see how i do it , then when he's upset ohh u have it easy & i don't think so at all it is hard & you wonder are the clients going to pay or do u go to court & also sometimes the state screws with my money with the state clients , but we can no loner affor4s daycare if i worked outta the home & now he is so used to me being here its like i'm a crutch & I feel i have no life , I can't go out no more or when i want to he don't feel like it & I feel unappreicated . Yes a stay at home working mother is hard as hell & you get no appreication because they are used to u being there. I also went to college for a double major as computer programmer & early childhood education . I feel sometimes I wasted my time & sometimes when my kids need me I say I'm glad I can be there. So no debate here I know we have it harder bcuz I have no days off

Answer 6

Now hear this ALL moms are working moms! I was a single mom who was also a stay at home mom till divorce forced me into this situation. I can tell you this when u look in your childrens eyes no matter what age u can find the answer of how well u did your job! Ususally these results of your child rearing skills will only become apparent in the relationships they have with adults and their own children. And give those single dads a pat on the back!

Answer 7

I'm not sure it's harder per say but it is definetly hard! Especially for those moms out there who homeschool, and some are single! I can't imagine having that kind of strength or sanity lol. I volunteer at my sons school and that drives me nutso lol. It's harder for some, more things going on, younger children, homeschooling, etc. It's not a job to be taken lightly tho. When I talk to my husband about me getting a job or going back to college to finish my degree he asks if I'll still be doing what I normally do, which is everything lol, and I say .... um, no, I'll expect some help! lol
It's true there are no sick days for us or clocking out at 5pm and walking away from your desk, this is 24/7!

I feel ya.....

Answer 8

I was the model modern woman. I went to college, worked, married, etc. Then I had a baby. After 2 months of daycare I got this ridiculous idea that I wanted to quit and be with my son. Now he is two. I am miserable. I have PBS coming out of my ears. I long for adult interaction. When my husband comes home he is tired and has to split time between me and my son. I am now looking for a job. I have to get out of my house! Everyday is the same. I love my son, but I want to know what it is like to miss him. I can no longer imitate black and white tv shows I want to make my own mark in the world.

Answer 9

It may be harder, but it has the BIG payoff of being with your kids 24/7.

Answer 10

I think staying at home and having a in house daycare.I never get breaks and kids are always around me..