How does one get over a terrible shyness around women. I've had a lot of bad relationships and a few short flings that just tare the heart strings. I'm almost afraid to try to start over again but I'm tired of being alone. How does one get over being shy in social situations and the terror of being rejected? When I get into social situations I have this great need to run and hide. What can I do?
2007-03-09 14:04:43 · 13 answers · asked by Lightstar 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know how you feel. I'm a terribly shy person too and it takes a while for guys to get through my wall. When they do, I'm comfortable talking. But most usually give up on me by then.
People don't magically get over their shyness. I wish there was an "easy button," but there isn't. Believe me, I would use it all of the time. I'm still learning and growing.
Just tell yourself, "who cares?" So what if you're rejected? Chances are, you won't run into them again. And if you do, that's life. Pretty soon that person will be somewhere else and they will have no recollection of your dating attempt. It's the sad truth. I hate to be blunt. Even I have a hard time believing it. Think about it this way...Do they care if they hurt you? Probably not... so why hurt yourself by worrying about it?
Are you shy when it comes to just talking to women? Or is it consistent throughout your relationships? Either way, you just need to open up. Otherwise, you'll kick yourself for not going for it. You're holding yourself back. So the next time you're at a party, or in class, make the effort and speak up. Start with smalltalk and if the signals are there, move on to a topic that's more personal. From now on, it only gets better.
2007-03-09 14:06:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mainly get over shyness by taking the risk in spite of your fears. You could also remind yourself that life is short and life can be a struggle. Accept that this is tough for you. Don't berate yourself for feeling shy. If you accept that something is true, the feeling loses a lot of its power. I used to have crippling social anxiety. I got over it by going out and risking rejection and then learning to not blame myself or anyone else if I was turned down. Being turned down is not a negative statement of you as a person. Remember, just as you have the right not to want to be with certain people, they have a right not to want to be with you. It's only rejection if you take it personally. It's not personal though, because as humans with the ability to analyze and make choices, we all strive to be particular about the friendships and relationships we form. Remind yourself constantly that it's all a matter of personal choice, yours AND theirs.
2007-03-09 14:33:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take a deep breath and relax. You'll find a woman as you go about your daily business. Granted you mind pick a date or too by hitting on a woman you met at a bar but one who you can build a solid relationship with you will probably find when you are your true self. Honestly think about what you want in a woman and in a relationship. Become comfortable with yourself and be confident in who you are then you'll be bolder when you're around the female population. Step out of your shell, just be bold. If you ask a lady on a date and she says no, be okay with it as hard as they may seem. Be humble if you embrass yourself. Laugh at yourself. Don't stress out, you'll come across the right woman in time.
2007-03-09 14:25:10 · answer #3 · answered by Lauren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand being hurt. But you give thos epast women that hurt you all your power. They still have a hold on you now. You must look within yourself and realease the hold they have on you. It is also good to get some female friends, they will make you more comfortable and help you improve. But do not be afraid to try again, you have to have a few bad ones to know when you found a good one. You will be okay.
2007-03-09 14:09:10 · answer #4 · answered by Family matters 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh,oh...Been there. Ok, I always try to just be myself and get out and do what I enjoy. Someone will always come along with the same interest and want to get involved. Just be friendly to them and smile. Smiling is good for them and you to. But just go some place and have fun! Don't worry about others, and be your own self. Let others fit in and don't worry. The problem with shyness is worrying what orthers are thinking or what they are going to do to you, just be kind and nice. If they have any bad intents, it will come out, then discard them, they are defctive units. Meanwhile just be you!
2007-03-09 14:14:32 · answer #5 · answered by smittybo20 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
practice is perfect
go to bars and try to pick up girls
doesn't matter if u choke
u probably never c that girl again
and messenger with some one that way u get used to it i mean do it with someone u don't know that way u can't be embarased
2007-03-09 14:08:30 · answer #6 · answered by Cristy77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eh... that's a toughie. I myself tend to be shy as well. My advice is that you should be straightforward with your emotions towards a girl, and if she doesn't like you, move on. Did that help? =/
2007-03-09 14:08:25 · answer #7 · answered by Chocolate love 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to get over shyness..you need to build your self esteem first
2007-03-09 14:09:48 · answer #8 · answered by cerillawil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPp\
just screammmm & let it alll out one day, on of the reasons some people are so shy is that they are afriad of what people will think, just stop caring
2007-03-09 14:08:31 · answer #9 · answered by hawty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to people
2007-03-09 14:07:19 · answer #10 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋