Got Any Riddles/Jokes?

Question

Best joke/riddle *provided with answer* will recieve ten points! :)

Answer 1

A man is trapped in a room when police find him hanged to death. the room is 20ft high and 50 ft wide both ways. in the room there is a hook on the ceiling with a noose hanging two feet from the ceiling and a puddle of water. No-one entered or exited the house before. police found the body. How did he reach the rope to hang himself?








































The puddle of water was a block of ice but it melted before the police found him.

Answer 2

This is supposed to be a true story. It allegedly just outside
of Ironwood, a little town in Michigan's upper peninsula.

This out of state traveler was on the side of the road, hitch-
hiking on a real dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm.
Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard
he could hardly see his hand in front of his face. Suddenly he
saw a car moving slowly, approaching and appearing ghostlike in
the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.

Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and closed
the door; only then did he realize that there was nobody behind
the wheel, and no sound of an engine to be heard over the rain.
Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was terrified,
too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw
that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still too
scared to jump out, he started to pray and begging for his
life. He was sure the ghost car would go off the road
and in the swamp and he would surely drown!

But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at the
driver's window and a hand reached in and turned the steering
wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Then, just as
silently, the hand disappeared through the window and the
hitchhiker was alone again! Paralyzed with fear, the guy
watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve.
Finally the guy, scared to near death, had all he could take
and jumped out of the car and ran to town.

Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice quavering,
ordered two shots of whiskey, then told everybody about his
supernatural experience. A silence enveloped and everybody
got goose bumps when they realized the guy was telling the
truth and not just some drunk.

About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar and
one says to the other, "Look Toivo, der's dat idiot dat
rode in our car when we wuz pushin' it in da rain."

Answer 3

JOKE:

A man just got back from the dentist, and is a little speech-impaired. He walks around a mini mall and decides that he needs some gum, so off the man went to the candy shop. At the candy shop he asks the clerk, "can i have some bum"..."some what?!" says the clerk..."some bum"says the man.... "OH!! you must mean some GUM!" so off the man goes with his gum

Then while walking he decides that he wants a new bucket, so off he goes to a hardware store. At the hardware store, he asks the clerk "Can i have a fukkit"..."a WHAT?!" says the clerk..."a fukkit" says the man...."OH!! you must mean a BUCKET!"so off the man goes with his bucket.

Then he comes across a pet shop and decides he wants a dog. He walks in , and asks the clerk "can i buy a coc*andspankit"... "A WHAT!?" says the clerk...." A coc*andspankit" says the man...."OH you must mean a Cockerspaniel!!!" so off the man goes with his cockerspaniel

While walking home, the mans dog gets loose and runs away. Struggling to carry everything, he goes up to a police officer walking across the street and goes " Can you hold my bum and fukkit, while i go grab my coc*andspankit"

Answer 4

i dont have any look
y is 6 afraid of 7
b cuz 7 8 9

Answer 5

slightly long yet with any luck you will like it... For it sluggish a lot of human beings have puzzled in basic terms who's Jack Schitt? we detect ourselves at a loss while somebody says, 'you do no longer understand Jack Schitt!' nicely, because of the fact of my kin tree efforts, you are able to now respond in an psychological way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer wealthy individual, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. that they had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply non secular couple produced six babies: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. against her mothers and fathers' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a severe college dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her little ones have been residing with them, she wanted to maintain her previous call. She grew to become into then time-commemorated as Noe Schitt Sherlock. meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and that they produced a son with a marginally frightened disposition named hen Schitt. 2 of the different six babies, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, have been inseparable for the time of babies and consequently married the happens brothers in a twin rite. the marriage assertion in the newspaper introduced the Schitt-happens nuptials. The Schitt-happens babies have been Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left domicile to excursion the international. He those days decrease back from Italy together with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. NOW while somebody says, 'you do no longer understand Jack Schitt,' you are able to superb suited them.

Answer 6

JOKE:

what cheese is not yours?
nacho cheese


RIDDLE:
there is a one story house, the walls are blue, the cieling is yellow, the carpet is green and the fernature is pink.
what color are the stairs?

Answer 7

Momma Joke:

Ya momma so dumb and nasty she got fired from the sperm bank , For drinking on the job .

Answer 8

Riddle:
It is bigger than the universe. A dead man eats it. If an alive man eats it, he dies.
What is it?