I am engaged i thought he was a great guy but things have kind of changed we have been together for only 5 months, we were trying to have a kid and we were both excited, now he says it isnt the right time i have been talking to my ex behind his back and i went to see him today and he just got a new house and he is doing well for himself, the guy i am with now is always tight on money because of his drinking problem, my ex wants me to go to a game tomorrow with him and i said yes and now he is saying he loves me again and that he wants things to work out, he doesnt know that i am with this other guy he thinks i am single i am leaning towards going back to my ex because he was my first love, but i dunno what is up with my fiancee if i leave him and things dont work out with my ex i am homeless what should i do? should i go with a guy that i feel secure with and drop the guy that has nothing planned for himself or his life?(my fiancee has a lot of baggage too) Please help me im desperate
2007-03-09 13:54:13 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all, you should NEVER stay in a relationship with a person who has a vice that bleeds into the other areas of his life. He doesn't have his stuff together, so how will you benefit if YOU have to be taking care of him. You might love him (but your ex talk is telling me otherwise), but you will get sick of him in very little time.
First loves are AWESOME. He DOES love you. No one stops loving their first. But you should be careful. The homeless part sucks, but dying early due to extra stress is worse. I seriously do not like the excuses some women make, but yours is valid. But are you going to bascially stay ONLY because of that? Think about it...
The BEST thing I can think of is become ROOMATES with the FL guy. Pay rent and everything. Separate rooms if possible. I am a guy and even I am telling you to control yourself... lol. Try to cool it down with relationship stuff until you are less frazzled. I can feel your stress radiating from my screen. Just chill and be honest with the ex about the being chill now and ALL of your intentions. It's all good.
Good luck,
Franklin
2007-03-09 14:04:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is better to be alone than to be in a bad relationship. It sounds like you don't truly love either of these guys. Life is too short to stay with someone that you don't love. You are cheating on your current bf, and your ex is an ex for a reason.
I don't know your financial situation, but it sounds like you may need to be on your own for a little while. Truly search who you are and the type of guy you want to be with.
While financial security is a nice feeling, it doesn't guarantee happiness.
Perhaps you have family that can help you out until you get on your feet and can get your own place. Right now, everyone loses, and they will both find out that you are lieing, at that is a sure way to end any relationship.
I know that you are in a tough situation, and I hope that you make the choice that will be best for you in the long run. Good luck!
2007-03-09 22:06:45 · answer #2 · answered by daisy31 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have only been together for 5 months and you are already engaged, you need to wait longer. You are still finding out things about each other. And if you aren't happy right now with what he does then it isn't going to change. That is who he is. If he doesn't have any clue what he is going to do with his life, he isn't going to know for a while and needs to grow up, especially if he wants to be married. He needs to kick the drinking problem before you guys even think about marriage. You need to look at the really big picture. Who do you see yourself being really happy with. Why did you and your ex break up in the first place? Do you just want be with your ex because right now he is giving you the attention you aren't getting from your fiancee?
2007-03-09 22:04:36 · answer #3 · answered by h.b.i.c. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if your fiance' was everything you were needing, you wouldn't be tempted by that which seems greener on the other side of the fence. Apparently he has some problems. Apparently, you need to walk away. Look for some place to live. Tell your Ex that you presently live with a guy that you broke up with, and are looking for a place to move & currently don't have one, but are looking. That's about the best I can do. You shouldn't really jump from one to the other. Maybe you need to figure out what it's like to live alone!
2007-03-09 22:18:22 · answer #4 · answered by lisalikes70scheese 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have been together for five months. To me its not long enough to decide to stay or not. I would just break up with him because he does have a drinking problem and thats not good trying to have a baby and all. I would stop trying and think and then break up. Get a job or something to support yourself cuz you seem like your only in it for money and a place to live. You cain't depend a guy. Date the guy you like and take things slow and don't rush into things if that dont work out just go clubing and have fun date guys but dont sleep around. And you will find the one eventually
2007-03-09 22:03:52 · answer #5 · answered by everlasting_matchstick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you have the answer! Drop the zero and go get your hero! But first you need to be an independent woman. Stop depending on these men to give you a place to stay! No matter what happens with your love life you have got to take care of you. So if a man leaves you then you should be able to get your own spot!
2007-03-09 22:07:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where would you see your life in 10 years if you stay with the fiancee?
Where would you be if you went with the other guy?
Where would you be if you learned to stand on your own two feet?
2007-03-09 22:00:10 · answer #7 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should go behind his back. If you want to go then go. Just tell your fiancee what's going on. Please don't try to have a baby when you're not maried! If you do, and break up, who will take care of the baby? And the baby will grow up insecure, since you keep changing boyfriends
2007-03-09 22:01:56 · answer #8 · answered by omygosh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You definitely should not get pregnant now. Figure out who you really like first, then if he won't show his love and commitment to you by getting married, you still should not let him get you pregnant. That would be very wrong.
If you go out with another guy, you should break your engagement first. If you don't, you are a bad girl.
2007-03-09 22:03:01 · answer #9 · answered by supertop 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for starters, if you are thinking about going back to your ex you shouldn't be engaged in the first place. You were quick in your engagement, so maybe your minds telling you that you jumped in too quick. does your ex treat you well? if not then you don't need him. who do you feel will make you happier?
2007-03-09 22:05:49 · answer #10 · answered by shabyc411 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋