i spank my kids because they did someting wrong not because im in a bad mood .
2007-03-09 13:25:15 · 14 answers · asked by grace m 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
obviously, spanking isn't working. Try taking away privileges, time out, behavior charts. Supernanny is great. Read her book. :)
2007-03-09 13:29:32 · answer #1 · answered by mountain_laurel1183 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
What ever you choose as your consequence, needs to be done consistently. Not to say you should spank for everything if that's your method, however We use a 3 Strike rule - Strike 1. Warning, Strike 2. Time out, or taking favorite toy away, Strike 3. Spanking. If it's ever tried again, that day, yes it's another spanking. If you make the spanking meaningful, they will stop at the time of the warning. It may take a few red tushes but you will see a difference. Just follow through.
Good luck
2007-03-10 02:53:47 · answer #2 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Try consequences such as taking something away they have to earn through the appropriate behavior. They have obviously outgrown the spanking and it doesn't work any more;that's why they do it again. They have thought about it and decided the pay off for doing whatever outweighs the pain of the spanking and to keep increasing the amount of pain leads to beatings. Also, spanking does not teach children anything about why their behavior is unacceptable-only that it's ok to hit to make someone stop doing something you don't want them to do. Eventually they will grow,possibly bigger than you, and you will be hit by your children. I see it everyday,working with juvenile delinquents. It's the saddest thing to see a parent, or a younger kid the parent can no longer protect, that's being beat up and have the parent tell me"something's got to change because now he/she is bigger than me" I feel for them because they meant well and thought spanking was the alternative but what did they think they were teaching their children with all that hitting? You need to apply consequences and stop the hitting-for your sake as well as theirs. Trust me on that!
2007-03-09 21:44:42 · answer #3 · answered by Wildfire 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Wow, your question was hard to read. If spanking isn't working for your child, it's because you either don't do it right, or they know you're not going to spank until you've told them no 4 or 5 times. Any discipline you use has to be consistent so the child knows exactly what will happen when they do wrong. My daughter gets spanked as soon as she disobeys (not really hard, just enough to get the message accross), and usually now all I have to do is give her "the look" and she stops doing what she's doing and says "sorry mommy." Consistency works!
2007-03-10 00:02:20 · answer #4 · answered by Lindsay M 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Try taking priviledges away, tv time, video games, favorite toys, etc. In general, it works really well if it correlates to the inappropriate or undesired behavior. Such as throwing toys equals the thrown toy being taken away. Recently my 6 yr old son colored on the bed. A very nice Colts horseshoe and an orange C for Chicago. LOL. He KNOWS not to draw on anything other than paper, but his excitement got the better of him. We had just purchased a Wii game console a few days before he did this and that was all he wanted to do, play Wii. I was so made I was practically spitting, but I said quite calmly. "You know better. I am very disappointed. No Wii for a week." Even my husband (who is generally more strict than me) said "That should make an impression." I sincerely doubt I will ever have a problem with my son drawing on furniture, walls, etc ever again.
Another thing to point out is to examine why they are doing these things. Are your expectations out of line for their age? Are they looking for attention, and negative attention (mom being upset) is better than no attention? Are they testing the boundaries (and in line with that, have the boundaries moved recently)?
2007-03-09 21:51:02 · answer #5 · answered by doodyfulls 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It definately depends on the kid and their age. With my oldest, 11 & a boy, I take away computer and video game priviledges. With my youngest, 10 & a girl... to be honest I've never had to push the issue with her. A swat to the rear has always been enough. Now that they are older though I know I'm going to have to start coming up with better options. Good luck.
2007-03-09 21:33:19 · answer #6 · answered by Jayda 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
sit down and make a list of all the things they like most. then when the kid starts up. you start taking the things away. lock them up where they can't get at them. then make them earn the things back. works for all ages trust me!!
i've been using this for almost 40 years!!! and it works!!!
2007-03-10 00:04:31 · answer #7 · answered by KRIS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey! If i were you, i would stop hitting your kids. It does not work at all. So give it up. Sorry to sound rude. But just listen up...Okay say your kid hits a kid at school. You tell him hitting is bad, but then you hit him. By hitting him, you are teaching him that hitting is okay. Let me guess, your parents hit you? It is a good thing to break. All you need to do is, put them in time out. I know it sounds like it wont work but it will if you stick to it. That is the key. You put them in time out with no toys or tv around. If your kid is 4, you put them in time out for 4minutes, Then you get down on their level, and say, "i put you in the time out spot because you "_____", I need you to say you are sorry." Then you take him off the spot and foget about what he did. When they start doing something wrong, all you need to do is threaten them. say "this is your warning, one more time and you are going to time out" and then if they misbehave, walk them straight over to time out. The solution is to stick with it everytime. I garentee that all you will need to do is threaten them from now on with the time out and that will be the end of that. Please do not spank though, it's bad and you are teaching them hitting is okay. I know you want to be a good parent because u r asking the question, so please just try what i said for like a month, i bet you money it WILL work. Just follow through with it and they will know you mean business.
2007-03-09 21:40:41 · answer #8 · answered by marriedsoon 2 · 3⤊ 3⤋
You spank your kids because you don't have the intelligence to parent. I never had to spank my daughter and she was far from being a perfect angel. Kids are going to do something over and over becuase they are kids. The younger they are the less retentive power their little brains have and what you told a two year old 10 minutes ago is forgotten . So you need to be consistent and patient...which obviously you can't do since you find it necessary to hit your child...That doesn't take much intelligence at all...even apes hit their offspring...
2007-03-09 22:24:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 5⤋
i'd start wiv a tap, so they kno its wrong, if they did it agn i'd THEN spank...do it agn? take away that oh so important toy they love n spank agn...do it agn? oh dear ur off 2 ur room 2 b alone for at least half hour..dnt care if ppl say spanking is wrong. its worked for years, n now ppl r saying dnt spank its wrong...u seen the lastest crime records?! no WAY that is just coincenence!
i were spankd n other than smokin a bit of puff a few yrs bk, im perfectly law abiding!
2007-03-09 21:47:28 · answer #10 · answered by evilbunnyhahaha 4 · 0⤊ 5⤋