is jesus a zombie??
he rose from the dead.
i died once
drowned in a bathtub when i was a baby
they brought me back with defibrillators
does that make me a zombie?
*gasp* does that make me jesus?
my first question is most inportant to me so answer that.
2007-03-09 12:18:55 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
also please answer my question about Larryism.
go to my profile to see it.
2007-03-09 12:20:45 · update #1
shanseuse
i did not steal that from futurama
i stole it from someplace else i just cant remember where right now.
2007-03-09 12:37:53 · update #2
I'm kind of mad at you for saying that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is dead lol.
2007-03-09 12:23:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I don't think Jesus is a zombie, but then I don't believe the story that he "rose from the dead." If his friends saw anything after the crucifixion, they saw a ghost.
Zombies are created by giving a person zombie powder, which does something to them.....makes them appear dead for more than 24 hours, and must do some kind of brain damage because those people are never really the same again. In Haiti, this happens because some people want to make other people into zombies to be slaves. There was a really cool movie about 20 years ago called "The Serpent and the Rainbow" based on a book by the same name by a guy named Wade Davis. Y'all should see the movie - it's good.
A totally funny unserious zombie movie is "Shaun of the Dead." ROFLMAO!
So, my short answer: Jesus is dead, and zombies really aren't dead, they've just been given this zombie powder and scared out of their minds.
2007-03-10 09:17:49 · answer #2 · answered by catrionn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he isn't a zombie. Neither are you. Neither am I.
Zombies are traditionally thought to be dead corpses animated through supernatural means. They aren't truly alive.
Jesus is claimed to have been alive (or a spirit/ghost, depending on who you ask). You are probably alive and I know for sure that I'm alive (I've been brought back twice). Therefore, none of us are zombies.
...
Aren't the miracles of science wonderful? So many people have been resurrected because of it. Just think of all the messiahs there would be if a group of Israelites was somehow transported through time to a modern hospital.
2007-03-09 20:26:47 · answer #3 · answered by scifiguy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You stole that from Futurama :) In my house we still exclaim "Sweet zombie Jesus!" (Ironically, of course.)
According to liberal theologian Marcus Borg, resurrection is NOT resuscitation. The biblical accounts of Jesus after the resurrection are pretty metaphysical. Does the risen Christ have to be Jesus the man? Is your name Jesus? (you could change your name if you wanted to.) Are you Christ? Some say that everybody is Christ.
2007-03-09 20:28:15 · answer #4 · answered by shanseuse 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Lol. I don't think the Christians will like the whole zombie idea. But I found it pretty funny.
2007-03-09 20:23:06 · answer #5 · answered by KS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL - My boyfriend and I call Easter "Zombie day." I don't think any Christians would find it funny, though, so we don't say it around them.
I think you have to be dead longer than just a little while to be a zombie, so you probably aren't one. Sorry...cause zombies are cool.
2007-03-09 20:22:58 · answer #6 · answered by N 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
No, that made Him the Son of God.
No, you're not a zombie either. Nor are you Jesus. Only Jesus is Jesus.
2007-03-09 20:29:32 · answer #7 · answered by The_Cricket: Thinking Pink! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes, he was a zombie magician. spread his zombeism around, apparently ,too, raising lazarus.
are you a zombie? do you eat brains? hopefully not.
i died and got brought back with defibrillators, too. havent eaten any brains yet. was a little disappointed to learn they had used those on me, and that I had no recollection of what it felt like. always thought one must be able to feel them.
2007-03-09 20:54:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No Jesus isn't a zombie he is just a dead man. A a lowsy Carpenter the cabnits he made for me fell apart. If you know jesus or think you might be him I would like my money back.
2007-03-09 20:23:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Jesus was a very popular cult leader, I mean really think about it, anyone now a days saying they were the son of god... well, they'd probably be put away!
2007-03-09 20:23:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, zombie are walking dead. Dead but moving.
But Jesus was alive. He died. Then he came back to life. Totally living.
As for whether you're a zombie, only you can say. LOL
2007-03-09 20:23:37 · answer #11 · answered by GreenGrasshopper 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋