okay, my fiance is in jail. in our 2 year relationship he has been there 3 times (including this time). he has theft, sell and burgarlry on his charges. the 1time i waited a year 4 him, i really love him and he treats me really good without material things, it really feels like true love, at times. he always promises me hes gonna do right. the next two times i started to get suspesious: i would always hear different stories from people about him than from what he was telling me. basically i realized he was lying to me about a lot of things-everything. he had never been with another girl but he was messing with "non-legit things."-agian. this boy has powerful words that really make you think hes gonna change but after being dissapointed twice i dont believe anything he has to tell me. im gonna have his baby soon and i dont want him in our life at all-- hes promising agian with tears to be in the kids life--- what should i do???
2007-03-09 12:13:21 · 11 answers · asked by Ramona* 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I was in the same situation. I waited for him on several occasions, gave him money while in there, went there when he asked, bought him what he wanted etc..Done what he asked. He would be soo nice to me w3hen he was inside, even sent me these Loving goregous letters. Yes he promised every time he would do the right thing, but guarntee in about 3 to 4weeks he would start seeing old friends and up to old crap.. They need to stay away from old infulences.. You have to realise you are being a great partner to him and he is really not going to change.. You can not change a person who doesnt want to change. Yes its hard for them but if he had you and hes kids he should of already changed for the sake of yous.. He hasnt. Not because you are not worth it, YOU ARE WORTH IT, Because he doesnt want to change. I stuck around for 4+ years with my ex. I always thought i could change him, i thought he was better then that but in the end i realised hes not worth it, and i deserved someone who appriecates me for me and every thing i do for him.. Yes it is going to be very hard for you to break ties but you have to for the sake of you and your children. Good luck and be Strong!!!!!!!! Need to talk i am here for you as i know all you feelings.
With the right to see his kids, Yes but you as the parent needs to express to him and the courts what type of person he is and for you to keep a very close eye on them and who he interacts them with. I have a clause in mine orders which state he can not take my children near certain people and anyone drunk or anything to with drugs.
2007-03-09 12:30:16 · answer #1 · answered by karhs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prepare to take care of this baby by yourself. If you're lucky, when the baby is born this guy won't want anything to do with the baby and you. There is a saying, "The best predictor of future behavior, is past behavior." This guy is going nowhere with his life, you don't want to go with him do you? Listen to your common sense on this one, stay away from him, work hard, and love your baby. You, and your child, deserve so much better. I know it hurts to think about leaving him, but you can hurt now, or let him keep hurting you in the coming years. Good Luck.
2007-03-09 12:20:12 · answer #2 · answered by nimo22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want that kind of influence in your child's life? Chances are if he has dissapointed you, he'll do the same to your child. It's sad, but sometimes no father really is better. Hopefully you have other males in your life who could be a positive influence for your baby? Good luck.
2007-03-09 13:24:24 · answer #3 · answered by Freaked out 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont get back with him! ok since you are not married he has no legal right unless he takes you to court & proves he is the father but if he does you can make an argument that he is unfit and shouldnt be allowed to visit and the judge will decide from there but i think you should at least let him try i know plenty of men that suck in relationships that are still good fathers. But its your baby and your decision
2007-03-09 12:19:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let him back into your life until you can trust him. If that time never comes, it's his loss. There's no sense in bringing in a negative male role model into your child's life. If his tears are sincere, his future actions will prove it. Give him time, and don't let him back in right away. If you really love him, you'll support his NEED to get his life in order. Best wishes!
2007-03-09 15:23:09 · answer #5 · answered by elizabeth_ashley44 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to think of what's right for your child now. You can't just take the easy route because it feels better in the moment. Is that someone you really wan taround you rinnocent baby?
2007-03-09 12:22:13 · answer #6 · answered by Jmac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what yur going thru i went thru that with one of mai ex's a few years ago (im married now) promise here, promise there. if he didnt change the first time, ay he aint gonna change ever. believe me, and its happened to all mai homegirls but they dont listen.
yu should move on with yur life, yu'll eventually find someone waaay better, and think about it if he's lying about that, he's lying about other things and he going to continue to lie to yu. and yu dont want to fall for those tears.
he doesnt have to be in yur life but he can be in his childs
life, its not tha childs fault and he deserves to know his dad.
but its up to yu and whatever yu feel comfortable with.
2007-03-09 12:38:29 · answer #7 · answered by MsChuLa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you want him to hurt your child the way he hurt you. Legally, he does have a right to be in his child's life, but he has major issues and it does not sound like he is ready to be a father. Maybe he needs counseling. If you take him back, he will not only hurt you but your child too.
2007-03-09 12:19:14 · answer #8 · answered by Mom of Three 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
stay away from him... just get full custody of your child.. He is not worth being a father if he can't take care of himself and lies to you like that..
2007-03-09 12:21:24 · answer #9 · answered by ~mother of 2 beautiful girls~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he keeps getting thrown in jail then he isn't worth you or your daughter's time.
2007-03-09 12:18:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋