How can i get my sister in law to move out, without getting my husband involved?

Question

I am desperate please help. I NEED KICK MY SIS IN LAW OUT OF MY HOME WITHOUT GETTING MY HUSBAND INVOLVED.. I NEED TIPS to do that.I have had an arranged marriage and am married for 3 years, my husband is from india and i live in US. he come here with me after marriage and my sis followed in 2 years,and lived in nyc, she is here on student visa, pretending to be studying (she keeps on failing her pharmacy exam).My husband moved to NY last year and so we got a two bedroom apartment so she can save some money, I could not move here since i was looking for a job. Now i am here since since Dec and after living with her for 4 months now i cannot stand her.she was never on my good side. i think she is too fake nice to me as she needs me, she always tries to over do me and compare and this stuff really bothers, now her BF has moved in withus we did charge him nething has my hubby is lookin out for her sis. i just want them both out after the weddn june, without letting my husband know aboutit

let me rephrase, i want my husband to think that it was my sis laws idea to move out.

Answer 1

I feel for you, but unless you can make it look like it was totally their idea to move out, your hubby will figure out that she's not around anymore, that involves him. I have no idea how arranged marriages work, nor do I know anything about your culture, though from what I've heard how Indian wifes are treated, I feel doubly bad for you. I wish you luck.

Answer 2

Wait a second, are you saying her boyfriend is staying with you as well? And your husband is not living with you? Yet his sister is? And the sister's boyfriend? !! My goodness. This is a recipe for marital disaster.

It sounds like you are being taken advantage of BIG TIME. Being the nice Indian daughter in law will not score you any points. They will continue to take advantage. How does your husband feel about this living arrangement? Does he know how you feel? Do you have the type of relationship where you can communicate your anxieties to him?

If not, then you must do so now. Do it delicately at first. Bring up the topic, and say you are very frustrated with the current living arrangements. Believe me, your sister in law knows she can get away with her snide remarks and attitude because you will say nothing. She knows her brother is on her side. But, her brother is YOUR HUSBAND. A fact you must reiterate to your husband day in and out if need be.

Indian boys may not be very perceptive when it comes to their manipulative mother and/or sister, but your being quiet and submissive is not going to change the situation. This situation requires some directness from your part. Tell you husband that it is very stressful with her living with you, particularly with her boyfriend. Tell him that you are just as important as his sister, if not more. That he must place you as a priority.

Answer 3

First of all I believe you should share everything with your husband. Second, I'm sure your sis-in-law and her husband to be would probably want to move out after getting married to start their own houshold. However, if your not of Indian descent you need to understand the customs and belief that most Indian families are very tight and do not believe in kicking out their relatives for any reasons because family means something. Unlike most americans who family ties our sacriface for individual selfish needs.

Just stand in your husband shoes for a few moments and understand the bond he has with his sister. In any event this is a delicate issue and should be taken in consideration of all the effects that would happen if you were to do something behind your husband back. Do you trust and respect your husband enough to share what you've share on this site. I'm not saying that you don't have legit reason for not liking or want to put up with some of you sis-in-laws attitudes in such but raise above pettiness. Be mature and talk this over with your husband and sis-in-law at the dinner table so no one habours any regrets or ill feelings towards each other.

You should also evaluate your own self to ensure that you're not jealous of their relationship. One more thing try to encourage her to see if pharmacy is her passion and just for a job. Try to be a positive influence for her and not to critize her too much. I feel you're very insecure person.

Talk this out with everyone involved, remember family is most important. My husband accept my brother who lives with us we're are a family. Yes, familes have their problems and up/downs however we love and respect each other very much. Good Luck!

Answer 4

talk to u r husband about her bf and say things that make him feel uncomfortable. give a detailed explanation to the people back in india about her failing results. sil's are a big pain. it's better u get rid of her now or else later on in life if she gets divorced she'll come back to stay with u and ruin u forever. either u fight cuz if ur husband loves u dearly he'll know of u r problem . in case if ur in charge of the house then dont let her come into u r matters take things in ur hands as her parents are not around u can get easily rid of her.

Answer 5

Wow! Tough one! First of all if it involve you husbands family it has to involve him no matter what. Talk to him about how you feel. I'm pretty sure if he loves you he will understand you. Tell him that she is old enough to pay rent as well as her friend, tell him it was OK for you guys to help her out for the first year to settle down but its know three years. Not only your husband should understand but your in law should understand and appreciate you for everything you have done for her.

Answer 6

Having lived for some years and your sis is going to get married in June. Adjust with her for 3 more mths. and you will be in their heart for ever and will be respected in the eye of your family members. After all Indian women are live like that only. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 7

start by giving vibes to the BF letting little hints pass to SIS but dont let him come too close and if he does tell your hubby and if not she will get jealous of you and feel insecured ,by vibes it means little flirt and give extra attention but not more then your hubby and never in his presense also it will work if you spray some womens perfume in BF's car or his belongings but not your ok you have to be tactful and if this dosent work put your foot down into having the BF move out dont mention SIS as if BF moves out SIS will automatically say she will move out with him and it will solve your problem , keepinf fingers crossed

Answer 8

sister's bf living in is very strange
check his back ground. may be he can afford 2 spend 4 his living that can be a way 2 drive them out
ur sis is studying 2 stay close 2 his bf

Answer 9

You can't do that. You need for your husband to handle this.

Tell your husband that things will be a lot better for the 2 of you if you don't have to share your home with another couple.

Is she getting married in June? Tell your husband that her husband should provide a home for her.

Answer 10

I don't know much about the Indian culture, but I have learned the families are supposed to accept the wife or husband in as a family member.
I don't see how you can do it without telling your husband, but you should not be afraid to tell him thet they must go.