Anything from smiley quotes to jokes?

Question

just post something fun=))

Answer 1

My favorite Irish joke...
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
.
.
.
Don't laugh. It could happen.

Answer 2

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized-- Fred Allen

Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.  ~Attributed to both Jason Hutchison and John Benfield

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.  ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.  ~Rita Mae Brown

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.  It is already tomorrow in Australia.  ~Charles Schulz

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you.  Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure. ~Murphy's Law

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.  ~Author Unknown
------------- [[this is Winston Churchhill's epitaph. if u don't know what epitaph means then look it up]]

I am ready to meet my Maker. 

Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal 
of meeting me is another matter.

Winston Churchill (1874-1965)


R.I.P

Answer 3

The great tragedy of life is not that we perish,
but that we cease to love.
W. Maugham

That which we are, we are
one equal temper to Heroic Hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but Strong in Will
To Strive, to Seek, to Find, and not to Yield.
Alfred Lord Tennyson

Love has no Boundaries.........

Answer 4

"Did you know God is a baseball fan?
The Bible starts with, "In the big inning...."

http://funny-jokes.blogspot.com/