How long should I wear black to mourn the death of my beloved mother?

Question

My Granny died last night. She raised me as a child and was basically my mother. I loved her so much. My heart is broken. I feel very strongly about wearing black to mourn for her, but what is the respectable amount of time to dress in black? I simply cannot find this on the internet, and if anyone can direct me to a link, etc...I'd be eternally grateful. Many thanks to you all in this very difficult time for me. :o(

Answer 1

When you first lose someone that you love very much, you feel the more pain and sorrow you feel,the more your G/mother will know how much you loved her and miss her.Grieving is different from one person to another.I would wear black till after the funeral then put it away.You dont need to wear a colour to let your grandma know how much you cared.When my mum died last year i was in so my pain i thought i would never feel right again/Nothing takes away the physical loss of a parent ,not seeing them everyday,but you learn to cope(easier said than done).The way i learnt to deal with it is when i feel like there is no tomorrow,when your heart feels like it going to break ,then i think of my mum.I picture what she would be saying to me ,her smile, her compassion,her warmth. i close my eyes as if she was there and get great comfort from this.She will never go from your heart-I even talk as if she is wih me,guiding me through it all.Dont get me wrong i have bad days very bad days,i get angry with her for leaving me,but you know what the power of thought(your grandma) gets you through it.Sorry to go on but i do know how you feel keep your chin up and good luck

Answer 2

I was gonna try to look something up. I'll just give you my personal experience. My Mom passing before my Granmother was bad enough especially for her. So I just followed her lead because she did know the traditions. We wore black the day of the funeral,and that was it. Your Granmom will live forever in your heart as my Mom & Granmother do in mine. As far as how long you mourn I don't know I think i'm still mourning. People will tell you the pain of your loss will get easier,but it doesn't. You just learn how to deal with it better.

Answer 3

Do you live in the U.S.? Unless your culture or religion mandates your wearing black, people just don't anymore. Maybe for the funeral but it is not necessary after that. So I guess my answer is to wear it as long as you feel you need to. Are you sure your granny would want you mourning her or would she want you to remember the good times you had together and celebrate her life?

Answer 4

thats very easy.

you wear black as long as you feel like doing it.

i mean there is no list where you can look up how much mourning you owe someone for certain services, or anything like that.

OR if you are concerned about what your friends and relatives think about you, try this approach: you wear black until at least three of the people you try to impress by it mention that you can stop doing so.

Answer 5

Sorry for your loss. I wish we didn t have to experience pain and sorrow when we lose our loved ones. My mother recently passed away and I just don t feel like my cheery bright clothes that are in my closet. I m not sure how long I will wear black but it is an outward sign of how I m feeling. I will wear black until the cheery clothes don t feel so bad.

Answer 6

I am so sorry for your loss, I too have lost my best-friend and mother. I wore black for the funeral but after that.....I put it away, mom's (speaking as one) would never want their loved ones to go on with sadness day to day by mourning that way. You could start a program, fund or something in her name, you could even name a star after her. One thing that is currently helping me, is I couldn't figure what to do with all her clothes, they always have their favorite outfits well we are making quilts for all the kids and grandkids so mom or grandma can hug us at night or when we are sitting on the couch. Celebrate her life and cherish those memories.

Answer 7

I'm very sorry for you, but stop wearing black right after the funeral. The last thing granny would want is for you to not realize how important LIFE is, not death.

Answer 8

I'm very sorry to hear about your granny.

I think it depends on what is traditional in your culture and in your family. In my family we wear either black or white for an entire month. You can wear it for as long as you want.

Answer 9

Sorry for your lost.
But, you don't have to wear black to mourn. You can write poetry, paint, get a tattoo of her. Wear black is only a formailty. A tradition. Do more than tradition

Answer 10

"The rules were gradually relaxed and acceptable practice for both sexes became to dress in dark colours for up to a year after a death in the family."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mourning

Sorry for your loss. If you wish to wear black/dark colors that is your choice. But in today's society it is not required as it once was.