she is REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES!!! we only have one income coming in. our infant daughter is disabled and im a full time college student so money is really tight. i also have to take care of bills i had before i was pregnant, such as my car note, insurance, and my credit card. she told me that me and my boyfriend are not a family because we aren't married, so she feels that her son should give her money whenever she asks for it. i take care of our finances, so if i say we dont have it, we dont. we have a little bit in our savings, but we are slowly having to go in there and use it because it's hard living on one income. my daughter gets a disability check, but it aint much. do y'all think im being mean to tell her to leave us alone about money? my boyfriend gave her 500 dollars when he did his taxes less than two months ago.
2007-03-09
10:53:22
·
17 answers
·
asked by
Anonymous
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Family
my boyfriend has my back. he asks me before he gives her anything. WHO CARES IF WE ARENT MARRIED. WE ARE ADULTS AND WE TAKE CARE OF OUR OWN BILLS, WE DONT ASK NO ONE FOR CRAP. BEING MARRIED OR NOT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-09
10:59:31 ·
update #1
for the people who talking about marriage....she had my boyfriend when she was 16 and never married HIS father. her HUSBAND has 3 other children he fathered outside his married and is currently living with another woman. i have to say that my relationship is far more stable than hers. i dont know what she does with her money, she does work, she just doesn't manage it well. NOT MY ******* PROBLEM!!
2007-03-09
11:04:59 ·
update #2
WE LIVE IN ATLANTA, HIS MOTHER LIVES IN SOUTH CAROLINA. WE HAVE NEVER ASKED HIS MOM FOR A DIME!
2007-03-09
11:08:27 ·
update #3
You and your boyfriend ARE family because you share a daughter. His mother is being very selfish and greedy! NO PARENT should expect their adult children to provide for them. She needs to get a job or learn to manage money better and let you and your boyfriend prepare for the future you will share together with your daughter. You owe her nothing. If anything...SHE should try to be helping you guys out!
2007-03-09 10:59:42
·
answer #1
·
answered by Anonymous
·
0⤊
0⤋
When money is tight, the last thing you need is another demand on your finances. Your partner should put the family HE created first and make sure that you are well taken care of. I am not married to my partner, but when you share a household, a bank account, and a child for crying out loud, then how far away from marriage are you anyways? That said, how well off is your (future) mother-in-law? If she is struggling to survive, well, $500 ain't all that much, especially outta taxes. If you have a child, I'm going to assume you got $2,000 back at least, so $500 might have seemed...doable to your guy. If you do the finances, though, he might be clueless about your true financial situation. Take him by the hand, lead him to the checkbook, and have him give a go at balancing the books. I bet those gifts to mama get much more...sensible, shall we say? Good luck!
2007-03-09 11:05:16
·
answer #2
·
answered by Stormy 4
·
0⤊
0⤋
Are you living in her house? If so then you should be paying her rent monthly plus help out with the utility, you know you and your boyfriend are using the utility. You should also put college on hold and get a job to help out, and who taking care of your child if she disable? If it his mother then you also need to pay her for childcare. Or if you don't like it get your own place with your boyfriend and get married. No excuses on getting married after all you have a child, so now it's not about your needs it your child needs that come first so get married and forget about the big wedding and just go to the court house and get married.
2007-03-09 11:04:04
·
answer #3
·
answered by rma2ks 3
·
0⤊
1⤋
I agree with her in that you need to be married. For the sake of your child and your committment to each other, not to mention other benefits. The mother though has no right to ask for money whatsoever. If your boyfriend gives it to her then there isn't much you can do. He needs to cut ties with mother in that situation and be the man of your family who he needs to provide for. If he doesn't give it to her and he stands on your side in this, which he should, then he needs to tell his mother to stop. If mother doesn't stop, then keep your distance for awhile. Most often then not, when nothing is coming in and the grandchildren are removed, those moms come around. If not, it's not important enough to her.
2007-03-09 10:58:37
·
answer #4
·
answered by VW 6
·
0⤊
0⤋
No, you are not being mean and his mother needs to get a life and leave you alone. You take care of your daughter , your boyfriend and you. Don`t worry about her. And you have a daughter, so you are a family. And I would let her know that. Apiece of paper, called a marriage certificate doesn`t mean anything. Stick to your guns and let her get by as best as she can. GOOD LUCK
2007-03-09 11:01:20
·
answer #5
·
answered by mammafran77 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
Its all approximately jealousy. She doesnt like the actuality that yet another female is in his existence, and needs to maintain the administration - relatively than permit her son stay his very own existence, with yet another female different than herself. the only difficulty that i'm able to advise is telling your boyfriend to get some balls, and branch off from his controlling mom... he doesnt could be advise approximately it, he can genuinely sit down her down and consult from her... she in basic terms needs a fact examine.. she will't breast feed him perpetually, you already know! Its unlike he the two has to kiss her butt each and all of the time, or disown her... there is unquestionably an inbetween... that is all approximately communication.
2016-09-30 11:08:33
·
answer #6
·
answered by ? 4
·
0⤊
0⤋
I say this: If you two are living together you have every right to make your stand. Your daughter must come before HIS MOM~period! Make that clear to him and if he or his mom have a problem with it then kick both of them to the curb. That child of yours has a check that comes in to the household for HER not that greedy money hunger mother of his! Make it crystal clear that she is not to get another penny from you or him for she needs to EARN her own money. I would be irate over it myself if my boyfriend did that for his mom....oh wow. **** would hit the fan! Stand your group now before you are married. Good luck.
2007-03-09 11:01:20
·
answer #7
·
answered by MOM OF ONE 6
·
0⤊
0⤋
I agree that he should not be giving her money, is she working , does she have a drug habit or what. Tell your boyfriend if you guys are going to make this work with the two of you that he has to step up and tell his mother no. And tell him to stop letting his mom put some guilt trip on him. She needs to get her own life and trust me she is not going to stop loving him if he stops giving her money. She is only getting away with what she is allowed to get away with.
2007-03-09 10:58:44
·
answer #8
·
answered by vallanita 2
·
0⤊
0⤋
Is the mother employed, disabled, lazy? You don't say, just that she wants money. I say, if she is employed and your boyfriend doesn't owe her money, tell her she needs to learn to budget, give the reasons you told us, if she can't see that although you get a check for your daughter's disability, that's what it is for, period. I don't know how your boyfriend is handling this, or if he just opens his wallet out of guilt, or whatever, but he needs to step up to the plate and tell her to stop asking, you don't have it, but even it you do, and that she needs to be responsible for herself, as you are being responsible for yourselves. Good luck.
2007-03-09 10:59:58
·
answer #9
·
answered by fisherwoman 6
·
0⤊
0⤋
hey it kinda was the same thing with me besides it was his mother hated me instead of borrowing money. But when you have a baby together then you are a family no matter what a piece of paper says.Your baby's daddy should respect what you feel. I would just talk to him about.
2007-03-09 11:05:49
·
answer #10
·
answered by Rose K 2
·
0⤊
0⤋