A bridal shower with 87 guests?!?

Question

Help! I am the MOH in my best friends wedding and am getting ready to send out 57 invitations to her bridal shower!! - which covers about 87 people, including kids!! I have tried relentlessly to make her lower the number and not allow children, but she won't budge...and afterall this is her "special time" and all.

She really wants to play games....but what kinda of games can you play with this many people?? I'm hoping not everyone can make it so what about games for like 60 people? And is it my job to entertain the kids and provide things for them too, because I don't think it would be....I am hosting a bridal shower not a little kids birthday party!

Believe me I agree with you all most games are tacky, and having kids there is totally inappropreiate when you're opening up panties and bras and such.....
Also the other bridesmaids can barely afford their dresses so I know the amount of financial support I will get from them will me small, and I want to throw her a nice shower.......The only thing I got lucky with is her Aunt catering the event...phew!

Answer 1

Yeah, I got rooked into one where mailed out 110 invitations. (In the invitations I put a self-addressed, stamped envelope and a recipe card for them to fill out & return - the RSVPs came in pretty good - I also put my home phone and email address and had several email me with their recipe and whether or not they were coming)

Who, in their right mind, invites that many guests to a bridal shower? You do have to remember, the general rule of thumb is that about 1/3 invited will show up. This does not help in the planning department because what if they do all show up? At the day of the shower I threw, we had a little more than 35 show up.

Here's what I did:

I had the bride there early to stand at the door and greet each guest personally (with that many people how is she going to have time to mingle with each of them individually?). They posed for a quick picture that was included in the thank you cards. There were two bridesmaids there - one to take the gift and the other to direct to the sign-in book and help with the name tag.

At the sign-in book I had a vase full of all kinds of different rings where they could guess how many rings were in the jar. This was considered one game.

I had formal tables set up with a piece of paper that had the bride & groom name at the top and directions for each person to come up with as many words out of the two of their names they could. This was the second game.

The "big" game was tissue paper bride. I made slips that had (b1, v1, f1, d1, d1) (b2, v2, f2, d2, d2) etc. the b indicates bride, the number indicates which group they will be in. v means veil, f means flowers, d is dress. Keep each grouping in a separate envelope until you're about to begin the game. Count up how many people you have and divide by 5. This will tell you how many groups of brides you will have. I mixed up all the slips in a basket and had everyone draw a slip. I gave each group a pack of tissue paper (do not use the toilet paper - it's just degrading) and explained what each letter meant. I gave them 10 minutes to make the most beautiful bride they could with no scissors or tape. This was a really good mixer, and everyone REALLY enjoyed this. I did have a couple of the "brides" revolt, but they just traded with someone within their group that was happy to play bride.

Then, I had bridal shower bingo cards made up for the opening of the gifts.

There were a set number of gifts on the "prize" table, each winner got to pick what they wanted. When the prizes were gone, the bingo game was over. Oh! And for bingo markers, I had wedding confetti on the tables and just had the guests use those.

For the favors, I used two favors. One was the cinderella favor with jordan almonds and the other was the little wilton white bag with magnets. I decided if everyone invited showed up, everyone would get one of the two favors. We had enough that everyone got one of each.

It turned out great, but the stress of planning this one was unbelievable! I wish brides would realize you shouldn't invite more than 20 to a shower!!!! There is a lot of expense involved in these and I wound up having to ask relatives of the bride and groom to help sponser the shower and adding their name to the "given by" list just to pull it off.

For the kids I just went to the dollar store and picked up a few coloring books, crayons, bubbles and glow in the dark necklaces/bracelets and a few just odd toys. I threw everything in a laundry basket and set it out on a blanket on the floor at the back of the room and pretty much left them alone.

Good luck with this one!!!

Answer 2

Down here in the south a bridal shower usually does involve games, gifts and refreshments. I agree 87 is a large number to invite to one shower, my idea would be to divide it into two separate showers so it wouldn't be such a financial strain on the hostess. That brings another thought, you're doing this alone? Where are the rest of her friends and Aunts and such? I know not all of her friends are in the wedding party! Surely you can find someone who wants to help out with this shower and take some of the burden off of you! Down here it's usually several friends and some of the Aunts who throw the showers together and they share the cost between them. As far as the kids go...that's a good one! I'd say maybe try and see is someone has an older child who could be responsible for entertaining the younger ones, maybe playing games and watching a movie or some easy craft to do.
If 87 are invited then you can bet that half will show.
Good luck on this one, you sound as if you really need it!!

Answer 3

Are you seriously this stupid or just hopelessly spineless? This is a party YOU are throwing. YOU are the hostess. YOU get to decide how many people to invite, what activities to do, whether there will be kids included, etc. etc. etc. What is all this nonsense about "I have tried to make her lower the number"? Stop being a spineless **** and allowing this "friend" to steamroller you into stuff you're not prepared to do. She won't budge? Fine, she doesn't get a shower. Not one thrown by you anyway. Maybe she can find some other doormat who will bow to her every wish but the point is, you don't have to be that fool. Sit her down, tell her exactly what shower you are willing to throw her, what the scope and extent of it will be, and ask her if that's what she wants. She says no, you say "then it won't be possible for me to be involved, sorry".

Answer 4

Well, it's her party, and this is how she wants it, so you'll just have to go along with it and do the best you can.
See if you can get her to not invite the kids - remind her that her guests will spend more time baby-sitting than focusing on her and the shower, so for their enjoyment and hers, it might be better if the kids stayed at home.

If they have to come, dedicate a separate room or area for the kids, and toss a few age-appropriate toys or games over there. Other than that, they are their parents' responsibility, you don't have to entertain or babysit them, esp when you have 57 other people to think about!

Not everyone will want to play games. Choose games that work for teams instead of individuals, such as bridal bingo or the Newlywed game (have the groom answer a questionnarie beforehand, and then read the questions and let the teams guess what his answers are).
Charades will work well too, because you can have multiple teams playing at once.
You can also do the purse scavenger hunt - you call out an item that the bride might need on her wedding day or honeymoon (lipstick, condom, sewing kit, etc), and the first person to fetch it out of their purse wins a point for her team.

sounds crazy... good luck!!

Answer 5

typically a bridal shower is given for the bride to get gifts, and to meet and greet family and friends. I have never heard of games at a bridal shower....how old is she, 18? she needs to realize that she is suppose to be a grown woman, and this shower is to be a gift to her from you, and you are to be the planner. If she wants all the extra games and all, then she needs to give herself a shower. I hope you are not doing this alone for 87 people, what an expense for you to tote. I also cant see where the children need to be involved, this is usually a time for adult women get together, and offer advise as well. This is just very strange in a childish sort of way.

I was given 2 showers, one by my in-laws friends, and the other by my aunt. We did not play games, nor were there lots of children, now some children did float in with their mother, because they had no choice, because dad's were working, or just wouldn't watch the kids. It is not up to you to do the whole thing.....his family should host a shower, her family should host a shower, and you can host a shower for the friends your ages, so that she can get some rather risque things. Maybe if you approach her that way, maybe she would be more open minded.

Answer 6

Your best friend is either a selfish cow looking for maximum gifts or she's been brought up in a culture where there is one humungous family shower/gathering. If it is the latter - which I suspect as she's invited kids - it is going to be a circus so you'd better just relax and go along with the flow. Been there, done that! First thing you have to do is "volunteer" two other women to take over entertainment for the kids. I am very serious here!! Actually the very best thing is to pay out $50.00 and get two responsible teenagers -not a part of the friend or relative group - give them a budget of $100. and let them entertain the kids in a separate room - maybe have a pinata party, etc. Then get another two girlfriends to help you with the stuff for the adults. You need one person to coordinate the food for this crowd. You need another person to decorate, man the guest book, set aside a table for gifts, be responsible for the stupid hat they'll inevitably make for the bride out of ribbons. Then you take over the guest list, numbers coming, seating, sitting beside bride and recording her gifts (Buy a page of stick-on numbers, stick a number on the gift, and record the name in the book so you don't worry if the cards get mixed up). There are books and online sources for stupid games but one that takes time and makes people laugh a lot is to divide all the women/teens into teams of 5 or 6, give each team 3 rolls toilet tissue and a box of kleenex , a roll or two of tape and a stapler. Each team selects their model and they have 20 to 30 minutes to fashion a wedding gown. They go to different corners or rooms or bathrooms, etc...then when you say Times Up, each group presents a fashion show to the bride who must select the winning design. That team gets prizes...like dollar store trinkets for each woman.....JUST FORGET ABOUT THE KIDS...really! you'll never regret having them entertained separately and , let's face it, the kids would be bored to tears with the adults. And, by the way, for the person above , it is considered VERY BAD MANNERS/TACKY for a mother to throw a shower for her daughter - looks like a gift grab!! This is supposed to be done by friends/coworkers/relatives.

Answer 7

I'd maybe find some teens that you know to entertain the kids and have grown up games for the adults...one fun game is the bow one where is she breaks the ribbon or bow getting it off the package then she has twins, it'd be fun to add this to the invitation some how. Maybe if not everyone knows each other before the shower officially kicks off have a
"get to know each other" game you have a list of questions and everyone has to go around and ask the other people questions. I'm out of ideas..good luck!

Answer 8

I don't know of any games. But that is a huge guest count. There is no reason for you to go broke paying for this. Are the other bridesmaids not contributing? Because this is their responsibility to host as well, not yours alone.

Can you afford a babysitter? I have honestly never heard of kids being invited to a bridal shower. Is there someone from a local church (perhaps where the couple is getting married) who would be willing to watch over them? I dont' believe it's your responsibility to entertain them yourself as well. You already have enough on your plate as it is.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 9

That's a lot to ask the MOH! 87! How many guests are coming to the wedding? And the wedding part? HOLY CRAP! It's not traditional to have kids there anyways. The Bridzilla should check herself before she wreaks herself. Sure, she wants everyone there but by the time she greeting everyone on her special day she'll be exhausted and the party will be over...OH...no games :(

Answer 10

Tell the bride to pare the list down to a number you can afford to host. Show her any etiquette book and it wil tell her that the bridal shower (which is totally optional, by the way) is not a repeat of her wedding guest list; not every woman on the wedding guest list is to be invited. These guests should be only those nearest and dearest. If you have to explain your financial situation, then please do. Hopefully, she'll want to appear proper and not embarass herself and you won't have to go that far.
...and, no kids...