I have just recently broken up with my bf of 8 years, and he is already engaged to the girl that he cheated on me with.
I am still heartbroken but I want to get out there and start dating again. I don't want to be in a rebound relationship and hurt anyone. How much of a break do I need before I should start dating again?
2007-03-09 09:09:58 · 13 answers · asked by Jasmina 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
After my husband left me for another woman, someone told me that it takes at least 2 years to heal from having your heart broken. I don't know if it really takes that long or not, but give yourself some time to heal and once you feel ready ease yourself back into the dating scene - but take it slow to confirm you really are ready to move on.
2007-03-09 09:18:07 · answer #1 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard the rule that it takes 1/3 of the time you were together to get over it. So, a bit less than 3 years, but that doesn't mean that you should wait that long to date. It means that during this time, you will be sad about it and you will go through maybe some stages of grief. Rebound relationship happen and they are actually good sometimes. Just keep it casual and no one will get hurt. If going out and hooking up with random guys isn't your thing, don't do it just because people expect it, find something that is right for you. Chop all your hair off or take up something you never did but always wanted to, like dancing or painting. Do something that you love doing that he never liked and you always compromised on. Make sure you're okay first before you start dragging all your luggage around to other relationships. Try to condense it into one neatly packed carry-on, if you will.
One more thing, I'm a big believer in when it's right, it's right. You spent 8 years with this guy and it wasn't right and it didn't work out. Now he's with someone who he thinks it's right with. You could start in with someone thinking it's a rebound, which is okay and you deserve, and it could turn into the real thing and everything might just fall into place. Wouldn't that be lovely? Congrats on this new stage in your life! You'll be just fine!
2007-03-09 18:45:28 · answer #2 · answered by graybear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes as long as it takes. You are ready when you don't feel like you need to talk about it any more. When you are really truely over the whole thing is when you're not going to hurt anyone any more. If you start before that, you may not notice the small things he does that should give you a clue about how he feels, or you could feel like you made an upgrade with the new guy & feel so good when you're around him, you may totally overlook all the cruddy things he's doing to you just because it's better than the EX!
Don't just take the break for other guys, take it for yourself!
You don't want to get hurt again!
When you finally feel like you remember what it's like, feeling giddy when you have met someone you like, take it slow. Remember to notice everything & try not to get into a relationship with the same bad signs as the last one. Use it as a learning experience to remember what you don't NEED! Figure out what you really need in a man & then move on, looking for someone who is what you really need & not just what you like, or want.
Good luck & good riddance to the jerk! She can have him! Right?
2007-03-09 17:32:43 · answer #3 · answered by lisalikes70scheese 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually it takes about a year to heal from a long term relationship. I've heard experts say it can take even two years, but most people I've spoken to say they stayed out of circulation for a year.
2007-03-17 03:30:43 · answer #4 · answered by chicklette0008 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a couple of months. I've waited 10 months (!) and it wasn't as serious as your relationship. but I needed time to put things back into order in my life
sorry for what happened. it hurts like hell, I understand, but it will go away with time
good luck
2007-03-09 17:17:04 · answer #5 · answered by sea_star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on the person and the circumstances behind the break up. There is no specific time limit.
2007-03-17 15:40:18 · answer #6 · answered by lasman37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats up to u !! ure the only one that can decide that. as long as you feel comfortable dating other people n know that ure not gonnna hurt them , then go ahead and start dating again! ITS HARD but u can do it!! good luck!!
2007-03-17 11:56:32 · answer #7 · answered by claudia g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be honest. some people don't mind being the rebound person. tell them that you are on the rebound and just want to have some fun.
2007-03-10 01:38:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
8yrs is a while lonest i had was 2yrs but honestly its going take time intill your happy with yourself and how things are going your going to get depressed if you find the right click with someone then go for it but dont just date because that what you want
2007-03-17 13:51:18 · answer #9 · answered by Matt D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think of no rebound just think of moving forward.....life goes on.if you sit and grieve he will notice and think he got the best of you.good luck!!
2007-03-17 17:11:14 · answer #10 · answered by trinawebb1971 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋