Did I do the wrong thing? I love my bf and I pushed him away b/c he smokes weed?

Question

I messed up I smoked a little when I met him but I quit over a year ago and I can't stand it when he would smoke. Now I miss him terribly and he does not want to talk to me at all. I am 21 and feel so alone with out him/.

He was my first love and I ruined everything he hatres me now and all I do is think about him, but if he gave me another chance ,Would I mess things up again if I could not keep my emotions about his to myself

his pot smoking to myself

his pot smoking to myself

:( I thought we would last forever:/ I dont feel like I wil find another guy. '

I am shy and not that attractive, I miss him and will be alone forever

Answer 1

Tell him how you feel including about the pot smoking, but mainly about your feels about him. Tell him why about the pot. Maybe he will quit if he knows you are serious about him and be back with you. Otherwise, I don't think it will work. You can't just pretend that a problem doesn't exist.
As for your feelings, If it wasn't meant to be, you'll get over it with time. First loves are the hardest, especially if it was for any length of time.

Answer 2

Ok, when you say that you are shy and not attractive, don't think that about yourself! If you have a low self-esteem, then you will look for somebody to fulfill your need to think that you are attractive. I recommend, now this might sound strange, when you are in the bathroom, or checking out your make up randomly, look into the mirror and say, "Hey! You're lookin' good today!" That will help that out, I am quite sure. Now, on your boyfriend thing, you cannot change a guy. Don't let other people fool you with other information on that you can, because only God can change a person, or the person's willingness to change himself. I'm sorry that you feel alone, but that is only a temporary feeling. Soon, you will find somebody that was made for you from the beginning, and you will spend forever with him. I hope it all works out :D :D

Answer 3

I actually went through this with my fiance. He has smoked pot since he was 14 and all throughout college and up until we started dating 3 years ago. He was 33 at the time we started dating and he still had a bong by his bed side. I simply stated that I did not agree with pot smoking and if he was serious about our relationship he would not do it in front of me. Then on his own he stopped completely and threw out all of his pot paraphernalia. Every once in a while he will ask me why I am so against pot or if he could do it. My answer is always the same...don't ask me those questions because you know the answer.

What I am getting at...don't compromise yourself because you will eventually begin to resent him later down the road. and if pot is that important to him then you will always be second to his bowl and bong. You are worth more

Answer 4

I sympathize with your loneliness, but if the issue of him smoking pot was important enough for you to take a stand against (of course, it is also illegal) than clearly it is an issue that means a lot to you.

Don't let your loneliness overwhelm you and lead you to compromise your values. You'll only find that if you get back together, it will still bother you but you will no longer be able to criticize him for it, because by going back to him, you will have decided that the issue is not important enough to you that you will leave him again.

Additionally, since he is blowing you off, his attitude toward you has changed and getting back together with him will not give you the relationship you once had - that relationship, I'm sorry to say, is over.

I hope that you can instead, learn from this relationship what you do and do not need from another person and apply that to future relationships - and future opportunities will come along.

For now, try to think of the future possibilities not of the past that is behind you. This has helped me get through tough times.

Good luck.

Answer 5

You need to stand up for what you believe in. You just miss being with someone and having that companionship. Someone better will come along and you'll be glad that you went through all of this. You need to go through all of the emotions and let yourself cry but you need to let this guy go. I'm a stoner and I don't have a problem with people who smoke weed but I don't have a problem with those that have TRIED it and don't like and don't want to be around people who smoke it. Find someone that respects you for that!

Answer 6

i think u did the rite thing because....smokin is BAD!...and it dont sound like hes too good of a guy if he smokes....and sumtimes u just have to let ur past go and get out there and find sum1 new...theres plenty better fish in the sea...just get out there and find the one that will truly love u...and that doesnt smoke!!!...and plus...if he wont talk to u anymore...what does that tell u?...its pretty much him sayin that he rather smoke weed than be with u...because if he was really a good guy he would actually take ur thoughts into consideration and try to quit smokin....so move on!!! and good luck!

Answer 7

Ma'am? Dope is gonna be a part of him. And you may take second seed, to that HABIT! I think, there is some much better, (quality) Person out there. Ready wanting to meet you. Don't stay `casue he was your first. He was only your First mistake. Someone much better will make you forget him. Good Luck

Answer 8

Well its a good thing that you quit and did you ever try to talk to him about it and maybe tell him that if he loved you then he would have stoped because that sometimes helps ppl and if he realy loved you then he would quit for you! Maybe you should try to call him and if he doesnt answer then leave him a message that you wanna talk to him!!

Answer 9

thing is he had a choice to quit or keep you didnt he? he chose pot over you. that means he would also choose it over any kids he ever has. Im sorry but your better off without that.

Answer 10

You may have over-reacted about his smoking weed...