My boyfriend and i always had a really great sex life. But in the past year we've had a baby, and we both started working full time. We hardley ever have sex anymore because he says he too tired. I feel like that maybe im not as attractive anymore too him, but he says thats not it. I mean i didn't let myself go by anymeans, but when you have a baby your body changes. Can other guys help me out? Have you ever had this problem?
2007-03-09 08:29:46 · 14 answers · asked by narzsenior 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
don't blame yourself for his lack of interest in you. you carried his baby for nine months and went thru goodness knows how many hours of labor and contractions. he should respect you simply for that reason. He probaly is tired; working full time but that is no reason to ignore you. You work FT right? and take care of the baby, right? So you got 2 jobs and you still be up to having sex, and you don't complain. I went thru the same thing with the father of my child and he use to tell me the same thing, then he got caught up and though he never admitted it I have a very strong feeling there was some sneaking around going on. So it might be the case. but it might not, just ask him. Mens sometimes go thru periods where they don;t want to have sex though and it could be stress related. Just sit down and have a talk with him communication is the key to any succesful relationship. All the best.
2007-03-09 08:49:43 · answer #1 · answered by TRUTH HURTZ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure he still thinks you are beatiful, post-baby body and all.Stress one of the biggest mood killers that exists. So if he is stressed out and tired, i'm not surprised that he's not feeling frisky. Try something new...maybe buy a cute roleplaying outfit, or a new toy, or something to vary up the routine. Take your time and relax him. I'm sure he'll get into the mood.
I know you have a baby,so that is also added pressure and stress, but see if you can have 1 night with him alone. Maybe that's just what he needs.
2007-03-09 16:34:11 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys have a hard time seeing their girlfriends/wives as sex objects after watching birth, breastfeeding, etc. Even though he says you're still attractive, he may feel otherwise. He'd never say "Well honey, you just don't look that good anymore."
Set aside time each week (send the baby to grandma's) to hang out with your boyfriend. Go to a movie, take a walk, talk like adults. Get connected again like before you had a baby.
This is just one more reason to get married first. A man who isn't ready to commit to marriage certainly isn't ready to commit to a wife and family.
2007-03-09 16:35:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be that he now thinks of you as the mother of his child and as the woman he has sex with.
Being too tired from time to time is normal...happens to us all, but....like jello...there's always room for sex.
What else has changed? Can you guys talk about this over a bottle of wine when the baby goes to sleep? The weekend is here, how about working it through in the next couple days???
2007-03-09 16:35:26 · answer #4 · answered by Voice_Of_Reason 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to say because everybody is different. When i had my son, the same thing happened, only in the reverse. I was the one too tired, priorities change when u become a parent. He may just be a little intimidated by fatherhood. Tell him how u feel.
2007-03-09 16:45:27 · answer #5 · answered by me2you 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, could he be seeing someone else? Not what you want to hear, I am sure....or fatherhood and the responsibility, etc. is killing it for him. Although, in my experience, guys rarely turn down sex, which makes me wonder if he isn't getting it from you, where is he getting it from?
My advice is to talk to him about it...unfortunately, guys view these 'We need to talk" type conversations as the emotional equivelent of a mind-numbing 3 hour trip to the mall.....so do not be surprised if he is less than thrilled with the prospect of opening up to you.
2007-03-09 16:35:49 · answer #6 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and he may very well be telling the truth. It's not that you're not attractive or sexy to him at all. Don't let this worry you. I'm sure that your relationship wasn't build on sex, but on love. Think about things from his point of view....a man's job is usually more physically demanding....so when he gets home, all he wants to do is relax and unwind. Best of luck to you.
2007-03-09 16:46:38 · answer #7 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you start masterbat*ng before he comes home and let him see you this would turn on any guy and he will jump on you and you both go at it. If this makes him go straight to the bathroom to take a piss then theres a problem in there because i just turned myself on. . or maybe hes gay
2007-03-09 16:36:53 · answer #8 · answered by hyphyboi408 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should plan a night away for the two of you. Get a babysitter and both of you get the night off. It can work wonders ;)
2007-03-09 16:33:49 · answer #9 · answered by Future Nurse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you both changed. Sit down & talk to him about it. I'm sure your just reading more into it than there is
2007-03-09 16:33:45 · answer #10 · answered by beenabytch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋