Am i stupid, Paranoid or just anti-social?

Question

I can STAND looking people in the eyes when im talking with them! I cant do it, it makes me so uncomfortable. I then tend to panic and bite my nails!
Im sick of it becuz im such an outgoing person but i feel rude when im looking elsewhere.

I even hate saying goodbyes, i hate that too...its so awkward! I wish i cud just leave and no1 say goodbye, im not good with goodbyes or hellos really!

Please help, i feel Sooooo Anti-social

Answer 1

It's fine you're not anti social but you have some sort of fear of getting close to someone even if it is a stranger. It's not rude you just have to work on it. Looking into someone eyes is not something most people do anyway. Just relax.

Answer 2

The way you've typed indicates you could be fairly young,

Looking into someones eyes when you speak to them shows sincerity in what you're saying, but obviously you should look away often so the person doesn't think you're loopy!

I'm quite outgoing especially with people i know, but i bite my nails too... gross habit I'm trying to break..yet again.

Everyone hates goodbyes, its sad, uncomfortable and we all wish we could leave without having to say it. that's totally normal, but so we don't upset our nearest & dearest we say goodbye...

Your not anti-social, Paranoid or stupid, you learn these skills the more you deal with them.

Answer 3

No you are normal. Do the things that you feel afraid of doing so you can feel confident and intelligent again.

If you cannot look at the eyes of the people, try to look at six inches away on both side of the face of the person you are talking with. Reduce the distance by an inch daily. After a week you will be able to look at them in the eyes. ;)

Answer 4

Actually look between their eyes, or at their eyebrows. They won't know you aren't looking into their eyes, but you will and won't feel so uncomfortable.

When you are leaving, do it quickly with a wave of your hand and a 'see ya', by the time they look at you you will be half way out the door anyway, but they will catch sight of you waving, and know that you've said goodbye.

And you aren't stupid or anti-social, lots of people struggle with eye contact. And I hate goodbyes as well, everyone who knows me knows that when I'm leaving I just go, and they are used to it now.

Give it a go. Good luck.

Answer 5

it can be very uncomfortable when people are looking onto you're eyes especially if you dont really know them. firstly there is nothing wrong with you except maybe you sound overly self concious next time you are speaking to someone dont get transfixed on looking into their eyes try to relax and listen to what they are saying and not how they are looking at you. also the hello goodbye thing just be very casual about it and no-one will notice a thing. good luck.

Answer 6

maybe you just don't like feeling vulnerable. Our eyes give away things we sometimes don't want them too..and perhaps your worried the person you talking to can see through you?
It just takes practice at building your confidence up at this, take it slowly, glance at the person for as long as you can and then look away and then look back..no one usually keeps consitant eye contact with anyone so it's not that odd.

I don't like hellos and goodbyes, because it's usually an awkward part of conversation, you don't know what to say and you feel awkward. It doesn't make you stupid, paranoid or anti-social, its just something you need to build your confidence up in. You just have to learn to control your body lanuage, thats all:)

good luck x

Answer 7

I think its just a lack of confidence ...No mental problem ! there might be some reason behind as you might not have gone out in family gathering due to some reasons from begining or something else...........but Now what you have to do is, make a habbit that go for the thing which pinch you more.....make an aim in mind that i will do it....Once you decide it, then try mixing up with peoples.......don't do it abruptly, first make some friends..practise it by talking to them alot, then enlarge your circle by comming in contact with more peoples....just slowing, try to get in debates with them.....choose a topic which you think you know very well and go on discussion with it......keep this practise up, meanwhile go to family gathering as well....and try to talk to peoples on your own.though it would be difficult in the begining , but keep the aim that you are going to make it.........You just need confidence .......and be sure you have no such big problem with you !! If you feel it comfortable, sahre it with your closed freidn and tell him/her to help you out with it !

All the best !

Answer 8

Well your not alone I'm the same. But then I have been diagnosed as cyclothymic, which apparently is the baby of manic depression. So I'm a confirmed nutter! Lol. We all just gotta get on with it and try our best to be the best person that we can be. Everybody has their own little quirks to their personality, if somebody is Worth getting to know they will figure out yours and work round them, just the same way as we do with other peoples. Don't stress your not on your own!

Answer 9

sounds like you are shy. you could work on your confidence either alone or with a counselor. nothing wrong with being shy - we are all different - but the sad thing is that when someone is shy, people don't always realise this and take it that the person is unfriendly, which i am sure you are not! good luck. x

Answer 10

If you are outgoing then you shouldn't really have these problems. I don't know what else to say...
Besides good luck!
And btw, you're NOT stupid.