My boyfriend broke up with me about two months ago because my parents don't like him and our parents don't particularly care for each other. Since then nothing much has changed because neither of us really wanted to break up. I can't stand what we have going on because it is painful for me not to be with him. If he would just talk to my parents I know that things would get better but he doesn't agree. I'm okay with the parents not approving but he isn't. The way I feel is that he either wants to be with me or not. I don't want to force him but I also can't keep doing what we are doing. We are both in our mid 20s. We get along great and love each other but I can't take it. Should I let go or just talk to him once and for all so we can decide what we are going to do?
2007-03-09 07:47:36 · 13 answers · asked by 3262m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is respectfull that he is backing off cause your guys' parents.
Ask him out to supper with your parents and see how it goes. He is probably just embarressed that they don't like him and just doesn't want to try to deal with it.
Try it and if it doesn't work, give it up and go your separate ways.
Good Luck!
2007-03-09 07:52:40 · answer #1 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey do you have a situation on your hands or what...
I understand that you want him to talk to your parents and work this out, but what your forgetting is that this guy has respect for his family as well. He values his parents wishes...and he tries to do what they say within reason (I hope). If you understand this, then you will know that if you ask him to speak to YOUR parents then he would be betraying his parents. You can't ask him to betray his parents.
As much as this might hurt try to look at the brighter side of things...ask yourself 'is this the kind of man that you want to be with.' If the both of you are in your mid 20's and if this MAN is still having his parents control his personal life then is this the right man for you?
Things have a way of presenting itself in a different way...I know that your hurting inside but maybe this is happening because someone is trying to tell you that this is not the man for you. If he can't take charge as a MAN and work this out then think about how much his family will influence his life and your life if the both of you were to be together.
Hon, I hate to burst your bubble but in a situation like this you really don't have an ultimatum to give. He made his decision and sadly enough you will have to deal with it.
Good Luck hon...
2007-03-09 16:07:41 · answer #2 · answered by chyna0069 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, since your both in your twenties, it sould'nt come to that over your parents, its really not their business any more, it would be nice to have your parents approve, but Im sure that they would get over it if you both really love each other. love will prevail if its the real thing, If he is not willing to put the parents opinion aside and just do the best he can, then yes I would give him an ultimatum, your parents WILL get over it once they realize that nothing they do is going to change the fact that you guys are going to be together, after all it is your life! And you are over 18.
2007-03-09 16:00:35 · answer #3 · answered by Jill T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that "this is life" Not everyone is going to get along. If you really love someone, be with them. Nothing else matters but the love you share. Tell him not to let this break you two up, and if it does than the love you have/had just wasnt strong enough to over come this hurdle.
Think of it as bad things are the enemy. The bad things are trying to make you unhappy. If you dont let anything keep you from being happy, then you win!
2007-03-09 15:52:44 · answer #4 · answered by oneradchica 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not having parents approval is very very hard, and though you are ok with it....it is very hard for him to accept the fact that your parents don't like him. Maybe instead of having him talk...I think you should have a sit down with your parents. This way they know how YOU feel about him. You are at an age where you can and should be open, especially when it comes to your parents and the one you love. Having your bf talk to your parents may make him feel very awkward and your parents may not change.
Go talk to your parents...communicate with them calmly and try to see if you guys can compromise. Goodluck!
2007-03-09 15:53:06 · answer #5 · answered by M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimatums never end well, in my opinion. If you are both grown adults why does it matter so much what your parents think? If your parents don't care for him I can see why he would be apprehensive about talking to them, generally most people don't talk to people who they know don't like them...especially people who they probably don't know well. I think you should cut him some slack. Your parents love you and I'm sure you've tried speaking with them, if they don't listen to you then why would they listen to him? There's nothing wrong with talking to him and coming to a decision but if you back him into a corner you may not get the results you are hoping for.
2007-03-09 15:52:35 · answer #6 · answered by Vivita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel that there's more to this story. i also feel that both sets of parents have personal issues and are projecting their negative vibes on you and your ex. speaking from personal experience, problems like this come from three reasons. this first is cultural, the second is religion, and the third is ignorance. i am right to assume that your ex was raised in a very strict sheltered household? a relationship needs teamwork. it's really hard to cut the umbilical cord from a mama's boy because they get instantly defensive when that topic comes up. my advice to you is to forget the past, don't worry about the future, and live in the here and now for you and you only. it's easier to be happy with someone when you're truly happy with yourself first. in terms of your ex, tell him you want him to be happy and if the choices he has made has brought him happiness then be happy for him. it really is that simple. good luck.
2007-03-09 16:29:07 · answer #7 · answered by WreckinShop 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him once and for all and if things don't change then you have to let go. These situations are horrible to be in, but it's hard to be happy when your families don't approve. If he wanted it bad enough, he would take the hit and continue to be with the one he loves until everyone accepted it.
2007-03-09 15:53:33 · answer #8 · answered by Luna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. I can understand not caring what parents think but some people do care. Y'all are old enough to make your own decisions so unless he is REALLY bad for you then your parents are being unreasonable. If you can't be with him, then let him go...
2007-03-09 15:51:01 · answer #9 · answered by Army Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to talk to your parents, not your boyfriend. You are in your mid 20's isn't time you take responsability for your actions without mommy and daddy holding your hand?
2007-03-09 15:52:09 · answer #10 · answered by marisanj 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋