She said she was going to throw me a baby shower, then said she couldn't afford to, then said she just wanted to get invited to one, then she never even showed up and she didn't tell the rest of the family ( his sisters and niece) about getting the invitation. My husband talked to her before and she said she would come and she'd bring her famous beans. Then worst of all she called her other son bitchin' that she didn't know about the shower and all this hoo haa, and made it sound like I didn't invite her... Anyway my question is, how do you deal with this when you obviously know she is a lier and manipulative (I've always known she was like this, I just think this time she went too far). She makes everyone think she cares when I know she doesn't. I don't want her around my child at all, I don't even want her to know when she's born. Is that bad? BTW I have never done a thing to her, its not even my husbands real mom and they are not close. she's a hypochondriac too, shes always sick.!
2007-03-09 07:47:34 · 12 answers · asked by dinkle_fritz81 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
She is seriously disturbed, sounds like she always needs to be the center of attention, you should tell your husband how you feel, he should be able to see your side of this, as a common courtesy you should definitely let her know when the kid is born, but it isnt an obligation to make her a part of your life, anyway i hope your man will see your side and support you in this, good luck
2007-03-09 07:56:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain. I am dealing with the same thing except it is my husband's biological mother!! The key is is to not ever depend on what she says. When she lies everyone around her knows she is lying. Just don't feed into her nonsense. I just keep conversations short and emotionless. Don't talk about things that could lead to feelings keep it to things like the weather, the good sales at the store. The trick though is to always say one nice thing to her like, I like the shirt you are wearing, and then keep the conversation to a minimum. Don't let her take all your energy. It really isn't fair to keep the baby from her but you can pose it like this, if you disappoint the child and continue to do so then we will no longer make plans with you. There is NO POINT trying to get her to see your side. People like that have a real mental illness and will never see your side or understand where you are coming from. We just have to learn to live with and how to deal with people like that. Good luck!
2007-03-09 07:53:19 · answer #2 · answered by Ambre B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell you what....if she's like that to you she's probably like that to everyone else and i wouldn't be concerned how others may react to her rants and raves about you, the invitations, and the showers.
You have to figure out what's worth fighting over. I know I don't want my husbands family around my baby (30 weeks), and I'm making a will out to ensure they won't raise my child if anything happens to us. I know he and his mom are not close, probably a good thing but one i would rectify if i could. I know my sister has a monster-in-law like yours--she just has figured out wen to fight and when to give in.
2007-03-09 08:08:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dang that sounds just like my mother in law! You are not a bad person at all for feeling like this. I just don't initiate contact with the woman and bite my tongue when she does come around (which isn't often now that my kids are older.) When they were babies..........she would come over without calling first. I just wouldn't go to the door. I would act as if we were napping or something. I know this doesn't help much but just know you are not alone!!
2007-03-09 07:54:48 · answer #4 · answered by JS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be asking her to babysit by any means, but unfortunately this person is connected to you too. I would just keep doing the polite things of invitations and so forth, but if she doesn't show don't worry about, in fact be happy. If she keeps complaining to the rest of the family, don't rush to defend yourselves just ignore the behavior. By defending yourselves you are just indulging her and I am sure the rest of your family knows better anyway. I am sorry you are in this situation, but like I said just keep up appearances and ignore the rest, she is not worth your time.
2007-03-09 07:53:46 · answer #5 · answered by dragonfly7887 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow!!! I am in the same situation, however, it's his real mom. I can't stand her don't like her and at times don't want her around my son but I only do it to not piss off my fiance and make things go worse. But she is terrible I wish I can give you all the details about her. But the best thing in the mean time is just to ignore her like I do mine. And at times when she needs to be checked, check her a@!. LOL but don't let her get to you, just focus on your little one who will soon be there
2007-03-09 21:14:16 · answer #6 · answered by llehctim0789 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there not close. close the door to your lives and you will be better off. you have enough to deal with a baby. you don't need an old baby too. If you have caller id not answer the phone. and don't bother to let her know when baby is born..
2007-03-09 07:52:07 · answer #7 · answered by Shelly t 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why do you let this woman bother you so much. Write her off for what she really is, and move on. Let your husband handle her and you take care of your baby and yourself. She is the one missing out.
2007-03-09 07:58:26 · answer #8 · answered by Lost in Maryland 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your guns! Talk to your husband and let him know you are less than pleased with her nonsense, then let her know! Its either that or avoid her until she asked you why, then you can tell her that since she didn't think it was important to be truthful about getting an invitation, then she is not welcome until she changes her program.
2007-03-09 07:52:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
break off contact
u don't need immature adults in ur lives
change ur phone number
do not tell her about ur baby being born
and also tell her u will not get to see ur grandchild
if u don't want ur child around her its ur choice and i personally think u r making the right desicion
2007-03-09 08:12:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋