I used to be best friends with my older brother until he went off to boarding school. When he graduated and came back home I swear he was a whole differant person. Now he is off srewing his life away and he only calls when he wants something and he never asks how I'm doing. Sometimes I just try to let it go...but the last time I avoided him he called from the ER room, becasue he O.Ded. I think he is a physopath but since he is 19 he has to get help himself and that is never going to happen. Am I alone in this? I just don't know what to do.
2007-03-09 07:00:49 · 13 answers · asked by Lizbiz333 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you're only hurting him and furthuring his idea that you're just a money source by giving him money to support those ways.
2007-03-09 07:04:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly....you have done all you can. Where are his parents? It would seem he is on a fast track to nowhere.....so he has to hot rock bottom before he can think about changes.
Speak with some counselling agencies or teen abuse hotlines to find out how destructive behaviour impacts on families and coping mechanisms.
Also....say no to any requests for money until he checks into a rehab program. Its goign to be hard...but the person at 19 is not the same pal at 6 .
Good luck and take care!
2007-03-09 15:08:04 · answer #2 · answered by shak2043 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha, Sounds like my life awhile ago.
My brother has less than me and is way older. He uses drugs has no responsibility and always has someone bail him out. He's manipulativeand been in a downward spiral for a decade.
The last time I talked to him he needed 200 dollars for drugs. I told him no. he got mad and whined and said he was goign to get sick and die, blah blah blah. I've heard it all before and I said "hey, look at yourself man, you're pathetic, you need to get cut off you need to get sick and get over it. I am not going to help you destroy yourself."
And I don't talk to him anymore.
it hurt at first but now I'm better for it
Do not enable someone to be a pathetic person that will make you just a guilty as they are.
2007-03-09 23:45:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do yourself a favor, get caller id and ignore his phone calls.
When he shows up for money just tell him he hasn't repaid
the last loan he borrowed. When it comes right down to it
you can't support both yourself and him at the same time.
2007-03-09 16:43:48 · answer #4 · answered by Williamstown 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might check out Al-Anon Family Groups. Look in the white pages. They will show you how to not feel guilty for doing the right thing and how to have peace and serenity in your life. Oh, it's free too.
2007-03-09 15:58:00 · answer #5 · answered by modesto_jim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he is old enough to make his own decisions doesn't mean that he will. Family is important and they help each other. Tell your brother that he needs help and that you are willing to help, but not with money. He needs support and if he knows that you will he will eventually get help.
2007-03-09 15:06:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give him money. Tell him you will give him love, support if he needs it, a shoulder to cry on, a sister to lean, and things like that. That is all you are capable of giving. He'll hopefully realize you are a good sister who does still love him even if you won't give him money.
2007-03-09 15:11:28 · answer #7 · answered by nymom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont give him money if hes squandering it on drugs. as a family member you should make some sort of intervention and get him some help
2007-03-09 15:26:09 · answer #8 · answered by BugHugz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you should do is stop being an enabler and running to his rescue...he either will get help or he won't and as hard as it is, you cannot save him from himself...good luck
2007-03-09 15:04:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't give him anymore $ try 2 get him some help
2007-03-09 15:04:30 · answer #10 · answered by madtyga2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋