Im pregnant and hate my mother in law?

Question

So Im 34 weeks pregnant and hate my hate my MIL..she never really liked me b/c I took her son away from her atleast thats what I think..she always has something ruid to say to me all the time..she bought a nursery for her house and baby clothes which I feel really bad b/c my baby is not ever stay at her house until its atleast 3 months..anyway,she is really ruid to me,she insults me all the time..never around my fiance,she calls my baby hers..Oh and she wants to be in the delivery room and I dont want her in there b/c I dont like her and I know she doesn't like me.so why should I let someone in the room who is goin to bring so much negative energy..No one in my family like her AT ALL..my fiance won't talk to her and tell her to stop b/c he is a mama boy..Its really tearing my relationship up with him to the point where I dont want to be with him anymore..Im 8 months pregnant and he act like Im not even pregnant,he rather hang out with is mom than caring for me.What should I do???? HELP

Answer 1

I've been married 15yrs. and my mother in law still hates me. I have come to believe its a right of passage. I will one day too hate the girls my sons end up with. Heck, I cant stand most of their girlfriends now. Anyway, None of my kids have stayed at my in laws home without me, nor will they. And as for that nonsense of her being in the delivery room, she will just have to get over it. You are so right about not wanting or needing that negativity.

Answer 2

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I'm sorry to hear about the problems that you are having with your mother in law.
As far as your delivery, there is no reason why she should be in there. It is your decision and you shouldn't have anyone there you don't want there.
Don't feel bad about her buying things for the baby... that was her decision to make, and obviously she did not consult you first to see if you would be allowing the newborn to be staying over.
Some men have a hard time finding a pregnancy "real" until the baby is born. Is he going to your prenatal visits with you? If not, have him come. Once he hears the baby's heartbeat or sees the ultrasound, he may become less oblivious. There is always the chance though that he is just selfish and it won't make a difference.
Does your fiance know all the things his mother says to you, and how they make you feel. Let him know that if he doesn't talk to her about it and changes are made that it will be just him and momma because you won't be putting up with it.
It's a tough situation... I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 3

Don't be too mad about your mil. She is just being a grandmother. I believe all mils are like this. And, right now, it really is a struggle and fight when it comes down to the husband and who gets him. You may not like her very much now, but after the birth of your child, it'll change. For the better, I mean. And don't be too selfish with your child. You should be feeling really lucky that your mil has a nursery set up in her home. She's all ready to babysit. You may not like her now, but when the time comes, you're going to be calling her up asking if she can watch the little one while you do errands. And if she continues her ways with being rude to you, what are you going to do? I think you and her should get along for the child's sake.

Answer 4

I also do not like my mil, and i'm not even pregnant. I do not go to family functions, or anything that has to do with her being there. She is a royal B***h. I would advise you to give the father of your child the option of being on your side or the curb side. He will have his own family and he no longer needs his mommy. If he insists on siding with mommy, then you need to move on, it will never change and she will always have her say on what he does or does not do regarding you and YOUR child. She sounds like a manipulator, give her the boot out of your life and her son if he does not cut the apron strings. Really, do not put up with this, it never gets better, and the monster in law will always side with her son. The best of luck to you, i really feel for you as i have been there myself.

Answer 5

Here are 2 suggestions, one being that you obviously have to decide who should "father" your child your Fiance or Mother in Law. To put it in prospective, when it comes down to it, look at your fiance closely and see the results of his mothers handy work. This should make the decision easier for you to make. Second, If talking over the situatuion with your fiance is of no use, then take it directly to the source, your Mother in law. She is just another person in this world, who in my opinion, needs to be put in her place. If your fiance can not handle the fact that you are woman enough to stand up for yourself than HE is not worth your time! To sum it up,many other women have gone through this. After all, most Mothers only raise "them" until they are 18 yrs old and the Women that these young men select have the life long task of raising them for the rest of their lives. Good luck to you and congrats on your new child.

Answer 6

You need to step back and leave his mom alone, if shes a bit** and hes a momma's boy, thats between the two of them. Try your best to "deal" with her. Thats all you can do. If you insult her, your insulting your man. If you push her away, you are pushing him away. If you say mean things, hes going to get defensive and protect her. Thats just how it goes. Theres no reason you guys cant act like grown ups and try to get along. Why dont you try wowing her once. Try to do something NICE for HER. and see what happens :) i bet eventually you and her will get closer and closer. She feels like you stole her son, and she needs to know that you actually love him and want to be with him. thats how us moms are :) GOODLUCK i hope you two learn to accept eachother. You both have at least 2 things in common, this man you both adore, and also this beautiful baby that deserves a happy healthy home with grandmas :) GOODLUCK

Mom of 4 boys and 25 weeks with number 5!!

Answer 7

you need to put your foot down. it is you who has to go through labor, and you should not have to put up with her being there. NO WAY. she should not be in the room with you. this is something you won't forget, and you will cringe everytime you try to reminence about the birth of your child and you think about your disgusting MIL. your husband needs to cut the imbelicle cord, and support you. tell him firmly you do not want her there during labor. he is not being a good husband if he is allowing his mother to be rude to you. you need to tell him, "if you love me, you will talk to her about it". if he won't, then girl don't be afraid to tell her whats on your mind. next time she says something rude, say "you know, those kind of comments really offend me. i'd appreciate it if you stop." or something like that. it would not be rude of you to call her out. you have a right to be treated fairly and kindly by whoever is around you. and you need to tell your husband, that when two people get married, you are now number one in eachother's lives. he needs to be there for you before he is going off to hang out with his mommy. you are carrying his child! i had a lot of the same problems with my MIL. i felt like she was very possesive over my baby. calling the baby her baby, and constantly wanting to hold him, and acting stupid, like talking this horrible baby talk to him. it is only going to get worse once the baby is born. trust me, you need to figure out how to resolve this issue before the baby is born. you don't have to like her, but she is going to try and take the baby from you as much as possible. if your husband won't agree to anything reasonable, then he is the one with the problem. call dr. phil. lol. email me if you have more problems or need some advice, i went through exactly the same thing. and i am definitly feeling for you.

Answer 8

If you don't want her in the delivery room then don't. Labour and delivery is all about you. Its what YOU are going through. You can choose who you want and don't want in the deliver room. If she is going to cause you to be under stress then keep her out of it. She can come in and see the baby after it is born. Labour is hard enough you don't need to be stressing out about her being in the room too.

Answer 9

divorce the mama's boy and
if he insists that his mother stay in the room tell the doctor to kick her out and/or ur husband

Answer 10

Abort!

No child should be brought up into this nightmare.