Ok I know I have asked this question before last night and most of the answers say no and run. I love her I do but I'm about to start college in the fall and shes only in the 10th grade and I get that she loves me and that she wants a part of me but I dont get why now after a year together why now you know. I told her that a baby is a life time committment and that you can't change your mind about it when it gets rough she told me she knows all of that and has been thinking about this for months and that shes 100% sure about this and she wants me to be too. So shes giving me the weekend alone to think things over. I mean I love her and down the road I want a kid with her but the thought of not being with other girls cuz I have a family at home to take care of and when I turn 21 there will be no drinking cuz I have to spend time with the kid and my maybe wife....this is all so scary and I dont know what to do and shes off with friends for the weekend. What should I do?
2007-03-09 06:56:36 · 48 answers · asked by spayhappy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are completely right. You need to get things done in your life. You need to expeirence more. I think that maybe she is afraid becaus eyou will be moving on to college and she won't have a tie and what if some gorgeous college chick starts flirting eith you. Thats what shes thinkiing. She can't compete with that. She is worried. Give her a promise ring or something not a baby!
2007-03-09 07:00:31 · answer #1 · answered by beaches 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both are way too young to be thinking about having a baby. First of all, it's not fair to bring a child into this world without a plan. What does a 15- year old know about raising a child and since when does someone that age be 100 percent sure about anything? Don't make the biggest mistake of your life along with hers. If you really care for this girl and wanted to make a committment to her, would you be talking about being with other girls and not being able to drink? I don't think so. Go to school and once you've had all the fun you deserve to have, go back and see how you feel. I'm guessing that she may feel differently down the road too. Life is too short. Have fun NOW before it's too late.
2007-03-09 07:31:52 · answer #2 · answered by Murray 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you two really love each other, and you shouldn't break up with ur girlfriend or ne thing like that. You should explain to her that u love her very much, and there is a possibility that u two could have a child when both of u are older and she is at least out of school. Tell her that high school will get harder and harder as will life if she has a baby too soon and doesn't live out her dreams. Also bring up the fact that her parents (and maybe even urs) might not approve. Plus, mention that a baby needs CONSTANT care, and having a baby is a stressful ordeal. A baby will also cost alot of money, and both of you still have college ahead of you. Just remember to tell her you love her and someday there might be a family for the both of you together.
2007-03-09 07:12:09 · answer #3 · answered by volleychic08 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer to this. She is young and naive. It scares her that you will be going to college and she will be stuck back at home without you. yes that sucks, but how is a baby going to change that. it will only make it more complicated. you mention you won't be able to go out and be care free because you will have a kid to support. She won't be able to either. And most of the financial burden would probably be on her parents unless the 2 of you make gobs of money on your own.
You are 100% right. Babies are a lot of work and are a life long commitment. They are expensive as hell and they are selfish little beings. They don't care if you have a term paper or a big test, if they aren't' happy, neither are you. If you are not ready for one, DON'T have one. She is 15, she (or you for that matter) has no idea how the world really works yet. She is in the romanticizing mode. She thinks "Oh I'll have this baby and everything will be great" WRONG!!
DON'T DO IT!!!!
2007-03-09 07:12:05 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say she is 15 she is way to young and immature to make this decision.
1st how are you going to support the baby.
probably college will go out the window because any money will go for the baby.
2nd if you do go to college who will take care of the baby. her mother, yours. is she planning on quitting school.
3 Babies are cute and cuddly but what happens when he/she gets sick and needs to be put in the hospital. Or cries all night for weeks on end. There is no sleep for the baby or parents.
Babies are more then a flash in the pan. YOu need to know that once you have a baby. all your money and your whole life belongs to that baby.
What happens if you do not stay together. then either some one else is rasing your baby. or there is a dead beat dad or mom.
If you are seriously thinking of having this baby. then that shows that you know it is not right.
There is a reason God made it so a man and women have to make a baby. Because it is trying even for two who live together.
It takes a village to raise a baby. This line is very true. You are asking for a whole world of new problems. What do you do if after the baby is born and both of your parents do not help you. they say it is your problem you deal with it. I have seen this happen.
I hope you seriously think about having a baby at this time in your life. remember if you do you no longer have a life. every thing you are and every thing you do and every thing that will be. will be because of this baby..
If you are going to have a baby. You should at least talk to your parents to tell them what you are planning to do. because you will need all the help you can get.
The thought of not being able to be with other girls says you do not really love her. not the love you need to fulfill your needs. for her to give you an ultimatun means she does not love you enough either for this either.
2007-03-09 07:14:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is truly a bad idea. At 15, you think you know everything and you are invincible. It just doesn't work that way. You will love the child more than anything, but you will both have regrets about not living out your youth. You both have so much time. If this is true love, then it shouldn't matter if you wait until you are both older.
It almost sounds as if she decided she wants this now because it's her way of tying you down. In the end, you would probably just resent her.
Also, how would you raise a child? Do you have any clue as to how much it costs? Diapers and formula alone for a month would cost you over $200.
If you have doubts about this, then I think you know it's not right. Good luck!
2007-03-09 07:04:25 · answer #6 · answered by Sharon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK slow your roll. First of all both of you are way way too young to be talking about a child. You have your head on right by going to college. She should appreciate that. Apparently something is missing in her life and it has nothing to do with you. Sorry to say but it could be any man probably. Let her go. If this is meant to be then you guys will find your way back together eventually. Do you really need this pressure when you've got your education on your mind. And again, you're young. Yes you are going to want to do other things like party, drink, study, go on trips, sports (?) I mean whatever you're into. DON'T be convinced to have a baby. And don't feel sorry for her. Explain to her if you have not already, that you are just not ready for this POINT BLANK ! and neither is she!! This will cause a big strain on your relatioship and you may not stay together anyway. Think about your future and hers, she will thank you one day. Maybe not today, but she will trust me. She has to respect you for this, for her to throw the guilt trip right now is selfish and that should be a clue to what you will have to deal with in the future. Go to school. NO KIDS !!!!!! (not yet anyway)
2007-03-09 07:12:33 · answer #7 · answered by nikkid6910705 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ever let anyone force you to do something you don't want to. Having a child is not just hard....it requires full commitment and responsibility. It doesn't sound like you are ready, and her wanting a baby seems like she just wants a secure hold on you. I'd really sit down and talk to her, and tell her exactly what you said here, that you are NOT ready for a baby. Her at 15 does not make her a good age to be a mother either. Kids should be kids, you are only young once you should be happy. If after talking and she still insists, then you really have to make the decisision on whether you want to stay with her, because once you have the baby, you really have no other choices. If she cares for you, then she will understand where you are coming from, and respect your wishes.
Remember, relationships can come and go.....a baby does not!
2007-03-09 07:03:05 · answer #8 · answered by M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately she seems a bit desperate in wanting this pregnancy to tie you both together. if she really loved you, she would want you to focus all your energy towards college and getting a career - so that eventually you could support her and a baby, WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT! You are both soo young! A baby will turn your world upside down, and while they are wonderful miracles...I think you've got alot of other things to accomplish before then.
Make her a deal. If she can graduate high school, and get into at least a part time community college, at that time you will revisit this conversation and discuss starting a family.
Until then, live your life and enjoy your freedom while you still can, I think you will see that college is a big enough change in itself. Good luck.
2007-03-09 07:11:33 · answer #9 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright man. I had a personal experience with this just last year. I was dating a girl, and we had sex. I didn't pull out cause she said she was on birth control. Well, turns out she wasn't. Her excuse was that she loved me and wanted to be with me forever, so I guess by her rationale a child would fix that. Well, the next 3 weeks were miserable. She playd along too. Acted sick and moody and even said she missed her period. Turns out, she was faking the whole time. I got really lucky. Well, after finding out she wasn't her and her mother asked me to try again. Well, I quickly told them both the kiss me where the sun doesn't shine too often. My advice to you is to run. Run away fast. Come dude, you're older than her anyways. If she's pulling this, it shows immaturity. It also shows insecurity in the fact that shes afraid either she may fall out of love with you and needs a commitment or that she doesn't wanna lose you. That's neediness. That's scary. Get away from it. Besides, you say you're about to start college. You gotta pay for that, food, and all kinds of other living expenses, not to mention the hospital bills, baby crap and other stuff. And if it doesn't work out, think of the child's support you'd have to pay. 18 years man. And you say the thought of not being able to be with other girls shows a sign of doubt. It means that it might not work. And in all honesty, it most likely won't. I'm sure you're a young buck like myself. I thought it would be cool to have a kid, but then I realized that I'm too young and too sexy to settle down. That's what you need to realize. Ditch this crazy girl and find you a college girl who actually has a good head on her shoulders and doesn't think out of her butt. Come on bro, don't ruin your life like I almost did.
2007-03-11 21:47:53 · answer #10 · answered by Tha Yakuza 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to have friends that have a small child that you can baby sit from all day Friday thur the weekend till late Sunday night. By the end of the weekend , tell her that this is how her life will be from then on. No parties, no going out, just staying home. Hopefully the child will cry all weekend. She will be able to see that children are work. Not just fun. Good Luck and NO KIDS FOR AT LEAST 10 YEARS!!!!!!!!
2007-03-09 07:04:17 · answer #11 · answered by springer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋