They are a 9 yearl old girl and a 12 year old boy. They both do not like me because I have and enforce rules in our home. I do not make them do chores except pick up after themselves because they are not there that often. I do not feel that I am mean but they say that I am.
What my question is...I would like to do something with them to help lighten our relationship without compromising our home rules. Any good ideas?
2007-03-09 06:51:11 · 12 answers · asked by just me 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I personally have three children and two nephews, I have noticed that as long as I am civil and dont get defensive they are okay, as soon as a child thinks you are against them then your done in their eyes, try having them help you do your chores instead of having them just picking up after themselves, help them with their things too, then they will be able to get to know you better than just the rules that you are trying to enforce on them because after all your not their mom, and as a mother I know that once you break the ice, then they will most likely listen to you better than they do thewir own mother, my kids are always better for other people than they are for me.
2007-03-09 09:16:18 · answer #1 · answered by Jill T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them pick weather to go out or stay in. Then give them 3 different activetys. Make sure you dont tell them what they have to chose from. Let them just pick in or out then give them that activetys!
out: dinner,bowling,movies
in: cards,pj party,bord game
This might help them realize that you know how to have fun and that your not just about rules! There are other things you can to those are just a couple of ideas! Good Luck and tell Dad to help enforces the rules too!!!!
2007-03-09 07:22:04 · answer #2 · answered by Chrissy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm hoping that you know what they like, like their movie intrests, music they like, etc. I'm telling you this because it can be helpful, if you dotn know much about their personal intrests then ask your boyfirend, this info will come in handy because you can tak them the kids out to a movie, or to the mall, to a park, etc, what you needs is bonding, those kids don't like you because they think you're trying to take their mother's place, regardless of how long you've known these kids, they don't really know you, they dont know your intentions with their father, the rules you enforce arent really the reason, they're probably thinking "she's not our mother,she cant tell us what to do" so they just need to get to know you, you need to show them that you dont want to take their mother's place, let them know that you just love their father && that your intentions are good. & the only way to accomplish that is by spending time with them
2007-03-09 07:06:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
at this time.. maybe you shouldn't be stricked about anything unless it's really really wrong. you would want them to get to know you and be comfortable with you. if you enforce a lot of rules... they wouldn't want to talk to you about anything.. (i won't) just because you might come up with more rules... be friendly and funny and most importantly FUN!!! kids can't resist being with someone that is FUN... when you guys are close... having rules in the house will not be hard for them to understand. good luck!
2007-03-09 07:37:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you are shacking up with their dad and they just get to visit. And while they are at your home, you demand conformity to your rules? Do I have the situation accurately pegged?
If you continue to disrespect yourself and your lack of commitment from their dad and stay shacked upped, leave the rule enforcement to their Dad. You are not their mother or even their stepmother. You have no right to ask anything of them, granted they should not be disrespectful to you. But honestly, I would resent you too if I were in their shoes. You and their dad are teaching them it is ok to shack up without a committment. Can't wait to see how these kids turn out with the kind of role models they have.
2007-03-09 07:02:47 · answer #5 · answered by ladywildfireok 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Take them to the movies, show them a real fun side of you. Get messy, and dirty outside. Teach them to make something in the kitchen, like scrambled eggs or pita pizza (pizza made on pita bread). And show them how you clean up.
2007-03-09 09:07:40 · answer #6 · answered by Popsicle_1989 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like Little Lu's idea. A slumber party is always fun. Don't forget to invite Dad too. OHH and make smores. No you're not mean. Your not their MOM and that is thier way of reminding you of that. Hang in there.
2007-03-09 07:58:30 · answer #7 · answered by Alsign 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for a picnic, go bowling or to miniture golf, go to the movies or swimming ( I am in Arizona sorry) take them for a nature walk or to the zoo. Do things like that, get them out of the house, fun things with you. good luck, and good for you for making that effort.
2007-03-09 07:29:59 · answer #8 · answered by Barbara C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are problem now, what will they be like if he commits? Try some activities or go to some place that they chose but keep your house rules in place. Good Luck.
2007-03-09 07:00:49 · answer #9 · answered by St N 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
rent some movies
take them out to eat
play board games
go bowling
go to the park
do an art project
toss a ball in the backyard
2007-03-09 06:54:34 · answer #10 · answered by zil28ennov 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋