I'm sort of her first boyfriend also. There is something wrong and I don't know what it is. I think she wants me to go for things, but I am lost, and on top of that I am very shy. I think there is a problem with that. I kiss her on the cheek, but nothing more. We've been going out for almost a month, and about 2 days ago she started feeling whatever this is. I don't want my first to turn out badly...
2007-03-09 06:49:51 · 12 answers · asked by Eric D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can either ask her and talk to her about it or you can keep quiet the way you have been and let it go it's own course. Either option can make or break a relationship. Just try not to worry about your first relationship turning out badly. Most first romances don't last. That's a fact that you will eventually learn even if it doesn't happen to you. Focus on the issue at hand and not what MIGHT happen.
2007-03-09 06:55:25 · answer #1 · answered by Fin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems this is the first time both of you have been in a formal "couple". So it is not surprising that you don't really know what to do. Even with experience it is not always possible to tell what is wrong with the other person or what they want. Humans are not mind-readers.
A key aspect of being a couple is that you should be able to confide in each other. This means tell each other things that you wouldn't normally tell. This often means admitting your own weakness or uncertainties.
As this is your first time and you are probably very young, you might not both be ready for all the physical things (or non-physical for that matter) that couples conventionally do (what I think you mean by "go for things"). If you do them too soon, it might feel unpleasant for one or both of you. After some time together, which might be weeks, months or years depending on age and many other factors, those things will start to feel OK. The tricky thing is that the time until you are ready may not be the same for both of you.
So:
1. you need to ask her what is wrong.
2. you need to ask her what she wants you to do.
3. you need to tell her that you don't know if you are ready to do whatever it is.
4. try out whatever it is to see if it feels OK
5. If it does not feel OK you are not ready and should say so and try again in a week.
6. If she is not willing to wait then she is too impatient to make a good girlfriend for you.
7. If she really likes you she won't force you to do things you are not ready to do and don't like doing.
8. Whenever either of you is uncertain about anything in the relationship you should talk to each other about it.
9. You must both accept the fact that neither of you really knows what you are doing and you will both have to find out by trial and error. The errors might not seem like fun at the time, but you can laugh at yourselves later.
10. Give her this answer to read.
2007-03-09 07:24:31 · answer #2 · answered by lawomicron 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing for you to do is communicate with her. You may be shy in your actions , but communication is the key to any relationship. Find out her likes and dislikes. Wiht the communication lines open ther is no doubt that she will reveal exactly what she whats you to do and not do. You can also just casually mention something llike ".....you are so beautiful to me, I feel the urge to kiss you" believe me the body language will let you Know if she is also feeling it. Good luck
2007-03-09 06:57:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I to was extremely shy, to the point of almost being with the shakes. I did not have a relationship with my mother, there foe it was hard to "connect' with the ladies, I stood alone alot of the times. Take your time and remember, this is your Aberdeen proving ground, do the best you can, and most importantly, RELAX!!! Make an honest effort to be the best you can be within yourself, that's what is important. And if things go south, don't stress yourself. There will be others, believe you me!!!!!!
2007-03-09 07:00:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firsts usually do end up badly, so if it does, just learn from the experience.
More than likely she wants a kiss on the lips. If she likes that, put a hand on her chest. Go as far as she will let you. have fun with it.
2007-03-09 06:52:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her that she is pretty and tell her why you like her. If you do not want to kiss quite yet then just go for holding hands for now. Holding hands is a awesome gesture that you can do. When i was going out with this one guy i loved it the way we held hands. Holding hands is important to girls...at least it was for me. hope all is well :-)
2007-03-09 06:54:47 · answer #6 · answered by skater-chick133131 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie I think you should just sit back and let her make the moves. The best thing is wait until you are married to have sex. It will mean more and it's safer.
2007-03-09 06:55:31 · answer #7 · answered by April B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you asking us this? You should be asking her. Just calmly, but seriously, ask her if everything's alright. Tell her how you think she's been acting different, and listen to what she has to say.
People are afraid to tell others what's bothering them unless they're asked. Just make her feel comfortable and she'll tell you what's up. Good luck!
2007-03-09 06:55:09 · answer #8 · answered by Tess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just kiss her in her mouth shell follow up and kiss you. just go with the flow of things unless you and her are not ready then dont rush things.
2007-03-09 06:54:10 · answer #9 · answered by gansito 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to stop feeling it.
2007-03-09 06:52:58 · answer #10 · answered by Emily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋