I recently started dating a guy that has everything I could ever want in a relationship... he is kind, honest, a little shy, genuine, and a very hard worker who enjoys many of the same activities that I do. He is very nice looking and treats me just like a queen, very respectful and attentive. However, I don't have that "hot" physical attraction to him yet. Will that come later? My intellectual mind tells me that this person would make a great partner and would always treat me the very best. I am used to being attracted to "bad boys" that end up treating me very badly, lying, cheating, etc. So I specifically changed what I was looking for and recently met this sweet guy. Does the chemistry have to be there at the very beginning... or can it be developed later??
2007-03-09
06:38:52
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21 answers
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asked by
jessanderin
2
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Singles & Dating
Wow... thanks to everyone who answered so far... I felt like I was surrounded by a bunch of best friends and it will be hard to choose the "Best Answer"! Thanks and keep sending more answers, I really appreciate all of you!!
2007-03-09
07:08:54 ·
update #1
Well eventually you will grow a strong connection towards them..yes it can happen.... I had to recently open my self up to people who have everything but im not attracted to them..and i came to realize they make me happier...but before i was shallow...sometimes in life we have to step out of what where use to...then we come to find a person who is what where looking for by just opening up...i understand what your saying...and eventually you will find him attractive because he treats you so right and put a smile on your face...your going to start to look at the person in a different light
2007-03-09 06:44:47
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answer #1
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answered by lefteye w 2
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When I first met my husband, I was not the least bit "hot" for him. I, too, was always attracted to bad boys and he, at the time, just wasn't my type. However, after a few months, I started to look at him very differently. In the long run, sexual attraction isn't always the most important thing in a relationship. If he makes you laugh and treats you well, keep him. I'll be celebrating my 16 years with this guy in a few days, and he was definitely worth getting past the initial lack of sexual attraction. He is still the cutest man in the world, and we're having more fun together than ever.
2007-03-09 06:55:11
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answer #2
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answered by Murray 6
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Do you HAVE to have the "hot" attraction? If it's not there in the beginning, it most likely will not "develop" later. However, you may feel satisfied and fulfilled without it - it depends on what you're looking for in a relationship. Passion fades, but love stays. My husband and I skipped the whole "passionate" stage, and went straight to being good companions. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'd had some very intense and passionate relationships before, but I've learned that I had no desire to sustain this level of passion in the long term; there's a certain amount of pressure that comes from trying to "live up" to this initial spark for the rest of your life. I find my husband attractive, of course - not in a "hot and steamy" way, but more in a well-rounded, stable way. I admire him greatly, and feel that my love for him grows stronger every day. I think we have great "chemistry", even though it's expressed not through passion but through a deeper personal connection.
How important different aspects of a relationship are to you is up to you to figure out. Don't settle on a passion-less relationship if passion is very important to you. It will not come later. However, deep love can develop with or without the initial passion - and if this is what you're looking for, then it's worth sticking around with someone you feel you're compatible with.
2007-03-09 06:54:35
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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It may develop later, but that doesn't matter. If you have found a nice guy like him, you don't need the body attraction. It's okay to suggest to him to bulk up a little, but don't tell him to become a meat head. But also think about this: he can have a small frame, but have the strength of a bull. In the meantime, just love him until the end of time.
2007-03-09 07:03:02
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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Stick to it, you see what the bad boys get you.
Chemistry will come later, just stay commited to the relationship.
This is different for you so it will take a little time for you to get use to.
Wish the best
2007-03-09 06:44:46
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answer #5
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answered by Ms Brown Eyez 3
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You need to let go of the feeling that you don't deserve him. That is your problem, not liking bad boys, or the lack of physical attraction. In your mind, he is too good for you.
Stop it girl! He loves you for YOU, and he wants to be with you. Let yourself enjoy what you have, and don't sabotage your happiness because you have a low self esteem. You are worthy!
2007-03-09 06:45:41
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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Yes, the chemistry can come later. However, one of my old girlfriends says that I slowly grew on her like a mold taking over a bathroom. When we were together, it was like a fine wine whose bouquet eventually reaches it's perfection but, now that it's over, I'm just shower scum.
2007-03-09 06:41:34
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answer #7
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answered by Hunting Bear 3
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Ive heard of people who say that things like that can appear out of nowhere after knowing someone for even years, but personally, I find it difficult to be in a romantic relationship with someone Im not physically attracted to.
2007-03-09 06:42:40
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answer #8
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answered by radiancia 6
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Ive dealt wtih this several times and each time I have to let him go cuz I do not believe that a physical/sexual attraction can develop. I believe its either there or not-right off the bat!!!
2007-03-09 06:42:36
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answer #9
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answered by Bella 4
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As you move along the relationship should move to a more deeper level and spark the chemistry.
2007-03-09 06:43:55
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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