I NEED SOME SERIOUS ADVICE!!! Please help me with this!!Thank you!!!?

Question

ive been with my bf for a month and a half(im 20,hes 24)We live about a half hour away and he doesnt drive,only i do.im getting REALLY frustrated with the amount of time we spend together.last sat,i saw him but we were out at a bar,sunday we went ATVing with all his buddies.on tues i saw him,with his parents.i feel like we NEVER spend any time alone.I asked him to hang out last night but he said he was too tired i told him how i feel about this and he keeps saying i shouldnt feel that way and to just 'chill'.the fact that its like pulling teeth to see him and that were never alone make me feel like he doesnt care about me.he said that his friend sees his gf once a week and they have a perfect relationship,and when i asked him if he'd be ok with seeing me 1 a week he said yes.i think that is rediculous!!especially for a new relationship.he hasnt had a gf in 2 years so should i give him more time/space?how should i handle this,should i act distant back?I dont want to just break up!

Answer 1

it sounds to me like he sees you just as a friend. if he doesn't understand that alone time is needed. take a break until he does.

Answer 2

Okay kido. You're only 20 years old, he's 24, despite this only being a 4 year age difference, he's been single and he's use to his space. Don't smother him or any other relationship in the future. The reason his friends relationship is probably going good is the fact that they only see each other once a week. There's two sides of the coin. (1) distance makes the heart grow fonder. (2) Too much distance makes you grow apart. Your relationship is VERY new, give it time, see what works for you guys. Don't push it because he'll see as "nagging". Share your excitment and interest of the relationship by just enjoying his company. On a side note, you should be thankful and proud that he invites you places with his buddies and family and that he's not trying to jump your bones every 5 seconds. Kind of refreshing, don't you think. You could also take this as a compliment as to him thinking about you as a person with interest and personality, otherwise, there's no way he'ld risk being embarrased by you in front of his friends and family. Chill out, don't ruin a good thing. Think about your reasons for wanting to be with him alone all the time. Is that healthy, or are you wanting to keep him ALL to yourself. Not good, that's controlling. Just some food for thought. Blessings in all you do.

Answer 3

Wow what a pace of work. Sound like a jerk guy to me. Time probably won't change anything, for the first few months both sides are on there best behavior but if its like this already doubt that he will give you more time. If I truly love a girl and going out with her I will try my hardest to take time to spend with her. Tired or not I will put her first before myself. Hes 24 and don't have a ride? People that age that don't have a ride probably don't have a job or a life. I say move on find someone that is establish and will take time to give you attention to you b/c if you don't you'll just be unhappy with him for a long time. If he truly cared for you he would bent over backwards to get to see you.

Answer 4

I hate to say it, but it doesn't sound like he's all into this relationship. Being as young as you are, I think it would be in your best interest to move on. I know this is not what you want to hear, but it sounds like the best thing to do. You both want different things out of a relationship. You should never settle for okay, when you can have, and deserve better! Believe me, if was really into your relationship, he'd make more of an effort! Why start a relationship if it's not what you want..... it's easier now to move on, then later when you have more invested!
Hope everything works out for you in the end!

Answer 5

I think he is being a little bit selfish, since he is only thinking what is best for him. A relationship takes two, takes a lot of communication, and trust. He seems not to be mature enough, he is not making his own decisions but he is making decisions his friends make. You have to drive all the time, and it seems like you are the one making all the moves. Rest a little, give him his space, be a little indifferent with him, maybe he will react with this. Distance back for a couple of weeks and see what happens. Like I said, it only takes two for a relationship, third persons are only going to mess it up. How ironic is this, I posted a question earlier cause I needed help. Im doing totally the opposite your boyfriend is doing, I'm patient, I make her happy, take her out, go on trips, bunch of things... And she doesnt react.... Hope this gets better for you

Answer 6

So get rid of him. At worst, you wasted a month and a half of your life. That by the way, you'll never get back, but, hey, at least your only 20, you've plenty of time to find a guy that wants to be with you.

It has nothing to do with priorities... you guys probably shouldn't be together. I'm going to be blunt, do you realize how many times I see virtually this very same situaion on here... it's ridiculous... Don't you girls know when to let go. Seriosly, maybe he's just not that into you and trying to make himself be.

On the other hand, maybe he wants to see how you are in the other parts of his life. Maybe he wants to know that you fit into those environments before he gets serious with you... Ever think of that?????????

UUUUGGGHHHHHH! Grow up, there's more to life than a stupid 1 and a half month relationship.

Answer 7

Breaking up isn't the end of the world. Also if you suggest
breaking up to him, maybe he will come around, and
respect your feelings more. You need to spend time alone
alot, not just with other people around. I would just tell him
that if he can't make the time to be alone with you , that
you'll find something else to do that night, and if he
dosen't seem to care, let him go. Why hang on to someone
who really isn't that interested.

Answer 8

I went threw the same thing with my boyfriend. We dated for 14 tears had two children together. We also met in our early 20's. Guys like that who put everybody else first will never change! Mine never did. His friends always came first. They are very inmature. Mine would never make the commitment to marry me. Now here we are 14 years later and he has left me because he says hes not into me anymore. Guys who put other people first, will never put you first. I am sorry sweetie, but get out before it's to late. Just remember you should get back the same love and attention that you put in the relationship. If you don't get that you will never feel happy.

Answer 9

Hon, you may not want to break up, but this just may not be the guy for you.
It's obvious that you want a BF you can spend more time with. If he says he would be content seeing you only once a week, ask yourself if you are really willing to be content with that. (I suspect that you aren't). You have to consider your own needs, too.
Are you willing to pine for this guy six days a week when there are lots of other guys out there who'd like to spend lots of time with you? I suspect your BF doesn't want as much out of this relationship as you do; only you can decide whether or not he's worth it, but I'd look elsewhere.

Answer 10

I Think u are WAAAY too wrapped up into this guy who u JUST started goin with and it's pushin him away. Jeez. if your whinin for more time like this after a few weeks what're u gonna be like after a few months? u are showin stalker tendencies. u come off as really needy. u need to start occupying your time with other things than this guy and let things happen naturally. stop tryna force your way into his life by demanding more time than many MARRIED couples spend with each other. $HIT, i'm worried u might start stalkin me wonderin why i'm not answer all the other questions u might ask from now on. fall back toots!

Answer 11

perhaps the 2 of you are just different. You want to spend more time together and he would b happy with just 1 night together. You need to think about this long and hard and see if this is someone you really want to date