it is that i think before i like someone:( how sad! Cant be crazily madly in love...any advice?
2007-03-09 06:23:31 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Congratulations- you are now an adult. I haven't been in love for years, although I see many attractive and charming guys around me. I just feel nothing. I believe the correct word is "apathetic". In plain English it is "I can't give a damn/s.....t".
Your hormones have settled (do you really miss the teenaged mood swings too?) so there is no fury passion. You experimented or investigated and realised that this is what sex, love, kisses and dating is all about and that there is nothing really to it. I'm not saying you've had an active sexual life, just that you are now wiser.
You know who you are and what you want. You won't settle for anything else. This is good, because you will be more inclined to think before you leap. So many people marry when they are in love without thinking twice about it.
This is not sad! It's good. Allow people to be your friends, explore them and yourself and don't be afraid to commit. It's okay if you don't fall in love, or want to kiss them, just enjoy your social life and form deep friendships that will last a lifetime.
I am like this too. One day I'll meet a man who'll sweep me from my feet and shake me in my foundations. That will be the man I want to know better and grow to love. Why don't you wait with us?
2007-03-09 22:16:50 · answer #1 · answered by Blodeuedd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you. Those teenage years are hard, and the "love" is often superficial.
Life long love takes time to develop. My wife & I have two single friends (not interested in each other), who have been having a heck of a time for the past ten years looking.
My advice, besides be positive and be YOU, is to do activities that you enjoy and would look for in a mate. Find education important? Take a class at a local college and hang around campus. Into physical activities? Get involved in a group that does them. Spiritual? Get involoved in a church functions. Don't force the relationship, but if you find someone there, you've already got something in common. It seems to happen when you're not looking for it.
Good luck!!!
2007-03-09 06:35:03 · answer #2 · answered by Voice_Of_Reason 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept it. Your heart is harder now. It happens when we grow up. We can never get back that fiery passion that teenagers can feel with the same sense of innocence that they have. The older you get, the more you start to analyze things. You start to worry about the smallest things, because in the end, you know that you can't really be with someone who isn't perfect for you without being unhappy. Teenagers can still believe that passion is all that is needed for a relationship and that everything else is just decoration.
As you get older, you start to bring your head into the relationship, and not just your heart. But when you find love, you'll still feel it. It just might take a bit longer to get to that state.
2007-03-09 06:30:43 · answer #3 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
easily everyone's diverse. At 14 u could properly be very immature or very mature for ur age so it particularly relies upon on the guy. i imagine if there is something, it may have 2 be a overwhelm or a mild actual attraction and in no way something more suitable than that> it truly is for most 14 year olds no longer all.
2016-12-05 11:28:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there!
I'm no expert but I am divorced and this is my experience. He was my first kiss, my first time, my first everything. I loved him since I was 14 so, after 14 years it was hard to let go and it was hard to start believing in people again.
That butterfly feeling was not there anymore, no matter how charming the new person was, as a matter of fact I didn't care as much for my current boyfriend until he showed me he was worth while.
My suggestion, be patient, let people in, let them show you what they can do and what they are all about, it will take more time but if you find that person that rocks your world, it will be worth it.
Good luck!
2007-03-09 06:56:26 · answer #5 · answered by chilanga26lasvegas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
~if i remember back to my teenage years nearly every week i was getting crushes on different boys must be hormones and plus lack of fussiness ,I know now as i'm older its different in men what you are looking for you have developed your taste you probably are meeting a few men and thinking he looks ok but then has different taste to you and unlike as a teenager it wouldn't have bothered you it does now.
You will find the right man soon enough or why not try one of the ones who like get to know him abit better instead of dismissing him straight away so at least you can say you tried.
2007-03-09 06:31:45 · answer #6 · answered by Nutty Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its less to do with you than with the guys themselves. and the fact that your older. you wont 'fall in love' with a guy for cute hair or being the schools star basketball palyer. it takes more to form a connection as you are less articial and more mature. also you have probably become more picky, being less shallow and realising that most good looking guys have rubbish personalities.
i think you worry too much and might come acrosss as desperate which might be offputting. stop looking for a guy to complete your life and go out without the intention of finding a husband. go out and have fun. he'll come to you. dont worry
2007-03-09 06:34:31 · answer #7 · answered by maraesa1000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
here is the problem...everyone has that checklist that they mark off for each person...it just so happens that yours requires alot more checks than the averager person...there is nothin wrong wit this...just means you are not willing to settle for anything...its obvious you are on the defensive mode but it takes a certain person to penetrate this armour that you possess over your emotions...its not you trust me its the guys that are conversing with you...rather than thinking logically when it comes to guys try and let your emotions do the thinking
2007-03-09 06:37:55 · answer #8 · answered by mark h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing's wrong with you, you're just learning to be more choosy. When we 'fall in love in our teenage years' it's not real love it's usually just a crush. When you fall in love when you're older, it takes longer but is usually the real thing.
2007-03-09 06:30:19 · answer #9 · answered by susan h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love takes time to develop. Sometimes it's not going to be easy to find a connection. But I promise you'll find love soon. Just try being yourself. And if no one likes you for you then there not worth your time
2007-03-09 06:28:01 · answer #10 · answered by lilangel02babe 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋