I broke up with my boyfriend because of some crazy things he's been doing while out partying (was caught by photos later posted to the internet, of all things). He is younger than me and knows I dislike his partying, and I felt like he lied when he had told me he just hangs out with his friends, etc. and doesn't go wild, in addition to the things he actually was doing. He didn't cheat on me (well he says he didn't) but was doing things... a boyfriend shouldn't.
He also hasn't been supportive of my lifestyle in the past (he works in the corporate world and I am a freelancer), which caused arguments and hurt my feelings. He also would edge away from talking about any future together.
He pleaded for one more chance, said he wanted to change, needs to grow up, wanted a future together and to be more supportive, and that I am the most important thing in his life. So I'm giving him a last chance. Most of my friends think it's mistake. Has the "one last chance" ever worked for anyone?
2007-03-09 06:12:40 · 14 answers · asked by have a nice day 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'd say give him a chance, but if he starts slipping even a little bit, it's time to move on.
Personally, I've never seen a "last chance" work. The people giving the ultimatum extend it to "ONE more last chance" and "Okay, this is FOR SURE the LAST chance" and the people receiving the ultimatum just take it as being forgiven for their bad behaviour.
Good luck! I hope it works out for you both.
2007-03-09 06:18:23 · answer #1 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I haven't ever been in that predicament, because I have never let it get to that point. The whole point of dating is eventually marriage, as you are testing each other out. It is not an endless dating scene; if you see "red flags" in the relationship that it is not going to be a long-term relationship that is going to matter, keep your options open, date around, have four or five going, as it is just dating, and if one seems promising, or if he insists he is the one and wants you to claim him as your own, give him a chance, but, if one flag goes up, forget it. You deserve the best for yourself, don't settle for anything less than a supportive, loving relationship. You are worth far more than the "one less chance" you are giving YOURSELF, in this relationship. Do you really have the time, energy, and patience to devote to salvaging this relationship? If you can't salvage it at this point, you can't salvage it with a ring on your finger and a baby in your arms.
I am not trying to be harsh, but, give yourself some credit. It is hard to let go, but, it may be the best thing that you can do for yourself, even if it isn't in your comfort zone right away.
Good luck, God Bless, and be good to yourself. Love yourself, first. :)
2007-03-09 06:22:43 · answer #2 · answered by I care about my answers 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I commend you for having such a forgiving spirit, which is quite rare these days. You sound like a really good Catch and he knows it. So do a lot of other men I am sure. Your future together will really depend on being as positive as possible. Build him up, don't nag or tear him down. Be that soft place where he can fall. And remember it's not about finding the right one it's about being the right one. And to err is human to forgive divine. And yes the one last chance has worked! Best of Wishs to you!
2007-03-09 06:20:23 · answer #3 · answered by lifecoach 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think that the "last chance" approach is going to work here. All that's going to happen is that you're going to get hurt again and feel used. Tell him that he can do his growing up on his own, and to call you when he's succeeded. Other than that, just follow what you really feel. If you still really care about him and believe that this is going to work, then forget my advice and just do what you think is best. Good luck!
2007-03-09 06:19:04 · answer #4 · answered by Saartje 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm with your friends on this one. "Last chances" never work out! You're wasting your time and just opening yourself up to more hurt.
2007-03-09 06:19:10 · answer #5 · answered by Rowena's Tears 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never had luck with giving men a second chance.
2007-03-09 06:16:12 · answer #6 · answered by E 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and my b/f have been having a ruff year, i broke up with him for 2 months awhile ago and just recently i broke up with him again, he is begging for me back and everyone tells me no no no...but im fallowing my heart and im im giving him a 3rd chance (= do what you feel is right...they have to grow up somtime are you willing to stick by him while he does this?
2007-03-09 06:17:46 · answer #7 · answered by CRAZY 8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*sigh* what's to forgive? you've made it fairly sparkling. My solutions suck and everyone else is funnier than me. i'm getting it. properly, i know at the same time as i'm no longer needed, so that you is actual no longer receiving any solutions from me any extra. *clicks positioned up*
2016-10-17 11:22:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Last chance didnt work with my Ex.I am glad it didnt.
2007-03-09 06:17:41 · answer #9 · answered by Sheeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him another 2 chances, 3rd time is the charm ^.^
2007-03-09 06:18:35 · answer #10 · answered by thenewhorzta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋