...i just need peoples advice..he doesnt like her or so he tells me ..but a kid come on now..im still young and he's not gona be there for me because of his kid.. i love him with all my heart. my future is nothing without him but.. i don't think im ready for this kind of relationship..
2007-03-09 06:02:09 · 19 answers · asked by t_nez2003 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like you should probably move on, he's too fresh off of that relationship, and having a kid with her might make him reconsider...
On top of that, you deserve to have a chance to be with a guy who will have his first kid WITH YOU. That's what you wanted when you were a little girl, so, go for it and live the dream.
Don't stick around with this guy who wants to play the "good dad" game. It's noble of him, but at the same time I suspect this "Good Dad" wants to be good in bed with mom.
2007-03-09 06:06:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is so tough, but if you are young you have your whole life ahead of you.
He is a father now and as much as you probably want to be with him and want his attention. He has certain responsibilities as a Parent (or He should have responsibilities).
If you stay with him and he devotes most of his time to you and not his newborn, then he is showing you what kind of parent he would be to your children,( if the relationship went that far) No matter who the mother, that is still his child, and if he plans to be a part of the child's life then he should do it right not half way.
So if he does devote this time to his child and you choose to still be with him, then you will have to take on a little bit of a mother role, or at least when the child is with you and your boyfriend. you will become attached as well to the child, and the child to you. You are committing yourself to that child by staying in the relationship, if you want to or not.
I can't answer your question, because I am not you and I don't know what you are looking for, or are ready for, in a relationship. I just hope my 2 cents of advise might make your choice a little easier to make.
I wish you the very Best of Luck
-Todd
2007-03-09 06:16:04 · answer #2 · answered by Roach201 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? If you are young...for your best interest get away. Love has obstacles, but this is a lifelong obstacle that you have to deal with. Obviously you havent been together long since a baby is on the way or coming now or soon. Baby mama drama will drive you crazy. It's not fair for yourself to put yourself thru the emotions that you may experience. Good Luck Sweetie. This is a hard decision for you. If you stay, keep strong but don't let it tear you apart. You don't deserve the heartache. Also...it will be a big financial commitment with him for 18 years. My fiance has a kid and it is hard. He has to pay child support and they take 1/3 of his income. That's a *****. And if yall stay together and ever have to go to court for child support purposes, make sure he has a lawyer or he will get canned. Be prepared and be smart. Either way you go don't forget about YOU.
2007-03-09 06:10:41 · answer #3 · answered by B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a lot of baggage. You said you are still young. Consider moving on, or at least give this relationship a lot of space for a while. The baby is going to make a huge difference. His ex will be able to work him into her life, whether he wants to be there or not.
2007-03-09 06:06:58 · answer #4 · answered by janice 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey run as far and as fast as you can. I know you think you love him but your heart will heal faster than you think. If you stay with this man who is at the very least partially obligated to this woman through their son you are going to come in second or third all the time. Take a goood look at this guy, look at the situation he has created and ask yourself why won't this happen to you in the future. Run girl Run and do not look back.
2007-03-09 06:06:27 · answer #5 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you should move on. You're right, you are young and I don't think you want to play "Step-Mama" right now do you? He's going to always have a connection to the other woman because they have a child together. I don't care if he says he doesn't like her like that or not. There is always going to be something between them. You need to just move on because there is no need to share a man with another woman when you can have your own.
2007-03-09 06:09:54 · answer #6 · answered by dangerously in love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you already know the answer to your question. This is a tough one. But in all honesty, I wouldnt stay. This must be a new relationship, unless he cheated on you. And You will FIND happiness with someone who can devote all of himself to you. Do you really want to help raise someone elses child when you yourself are still young? Good luck sweets.
2007-03-09 06:20:52 · answer #7 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is something you have to think about and see if you can cope with it. you can love him to death but can you deal with him having a child with someone else, dealing with him constantly seeing this other women, are you ready to be a step mom (whether your married or not thats basically your title now), will you be able to treat this child as your own? if you answered no to any of these then get out now.....these are the requirments (in my opinion) for being a step parent. my ex had a 7 yrs old son and i loved them bolth, but it took time for me to get used to it all. it is a big change
2007-03-09 06:11:05 · answer #8 · answered by MATTHEW B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know it is possible for a guy to be a good father and not be with the mother. My ex-husband is a great dad to our 2 boys and to my 4 year old who isn't even his biological child. If you truly love this guy, you should give him a chance. If you don't you might regret it one day.
2007-03-09 06:10:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you should stay with him. Not trying to be mean or anything. Anyways he might not always be there for you because he has a kid. Eeven though you love him let him fix his relationship with his ex-girlfriend. That would probably be best.
Sorry!!!
2007-03-09 06:42:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋