I have this talkative co-worker where if he starts talking at 9am, he wont be dont till 4pm. anyway, i kind of been avoiding him for like two weeks. when one day he comes up to me and says "I know you dont want to talk to me, but i need somebody to talk to i wont be long" and then goes on for 2hrs, 47 minutes and 15 seconds about his weekend and so forth! DRIVING ME CRAZZZYYY HELPPPPPPPPPPPP
2007-03-09 05:52:09 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
ever hear of ear ?plugs?and every 10 mins nod and smile every 5 mins say yes yes most defintly
2007-03-09 06:18:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who does the same thing- she talks and talks and doesn't care whether or not the other person is interested or cares what she has to say. She's been known to have IM conversations 54 messages long- with someone's away message. And have two hour conversations without the other person saying a word. When it started bugging me, I just brushed her off and ignored her... she didn't get the point until I was a foot over the 'rude' line. Avoidance doesn't work, makes them think that you might possibly have been too occupied to talk. When he starts talking, just walk away and continue what you were doing before. If he follows you around: Every now and then, insert sarcastic witty remark, i.e. "So as I was saying to John-" "Which I'm sure absolutely fascinated him...". Emphasize the sarcasm, because unless everyone in China and Venezuala can hear it, he won't get it. Flat out "NO!!!!" accompanied with dramatically running and hiding works well. As well as graphic descriptions of torture you'd rather undergo (have my genetalia eaten from the inside out by microbial fleas, get my liver pecked out by an eagle every day) than listen to him. Oh, and start referring to him as an object (I used 'the freshman' instead of her name) and don't ever say you were talking to him/having a conversation with him/he was talking to you. He was talking AT you. That puts you in the right mindset. Good luck.
2007-03-09 16:20:57 · answer #2 · answered by maoseh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha, this always happens when you have mutiple people working in an office environment. But if you want to stop him you'll have to be a little more straightforward without being offensive. Avoiding him won't work because he actually enjoys you listening to him ramble so he will seek you out.
It would be effective for you to just to simply tell him him "Hold that thought, can I get back to you in a few minutes", if he returns later tell him just keep telling him "Hold On"...go to the bathroom, get water..ANYTHING. Then tell him you're having a really awful week and you're not really up to talking about but you need some space. He will eventually give up.
2007-03-09 13:59:33 · answer #3 · answered by Bonita Applebaum 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are so many people who need to have someone to talk to and they are usually lonely or have no friends. I think the way that I grew up that I am a very good listener if you need to get him off your hands he can email me I will listen and I wouldnt avoid him I would interrupt or say sorry I am busy or plain tell him that he doesnt know how to keep it short some people you have to be blunt with.
2007-03-09 13:56:59 · answer #4 · answered by Chloe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talking that long is counter productive. Both of yo are there to work. He is obviously seeking some socialization time. Gently suggest to him that he consider joining a social group that share his hobbies and interests. Explain how he's interfering with the work you need to get done. If that doesn't work, talk with his boss. He might need more work to keep him busy. Also, be careful how you respond to him. Don't smile or laugh too much giving him encouragement. I've been guilty of that myself unknowingly until a former boss pointed it out to me that I was way to receptive in my body language causing people to stop and talk to me for long periods of time. You don't have to be mean to get your point across. .
2007-03-09 14:27:22 · answer #5 · answered by born2run 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl ya missed a golden opportunity when he said " i know you don't want to talk to me...."
too bad you didn't have the quick wit to jump in and tell him " you're right i don't!" ; )
At any rate....you probably need to tell him straight up like this:
" no offense but like when i am at work, it's not the time or place for me to be hearing about your stuff all day long...for me i don't mix business with pleasure...if i got time after work sometime perhaps we can talk mk?" [but like don't even count on that cause i need to jet after and get home"]
i mean if you choose to be friends with him on the side and want to be friends with him that is up to you. Basically by telling him this you are letting him know that you want to be be his business partner only.
If after you tell him this, and he crosses the boundry you set up, then you can sorta be rude then because after all he has now crossed the line you made.
2007-03-09 14:02:01 · answer #6 · answered by LM 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah i have this friend that does this to me all the time. he'll call to talk to me about the stupidest things and the sad thing is ... he's some what mentally retared so when he talks its really slow and studdering. therefore when he calls or comes around i just talk for like a minute and then say im busy or i'll just start walking away saying i have to go talk to u later those kind of things.
2007-03-09 14:01:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's very important to have boundaries so set them!
My daughter has this problem. I usually tell her I'd be glad to listen to her. But first she needs to spend some time thinking about the problem or writing it down so we can better identify it. This also tends to be therapeutic.
The proper way: "I'm sorry, but I just don't have that much time right now. I can only give you 10 minutes. " Then set some kind of alarm on your phone by excusing yourself to the restroom before ya'll begin.
The American way: You're driving me crazy! What kind of looney are you? Get a shrink! They don't pay me enough for this.
2007-03-09 13:57:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My sister-in-law can out talk any human being on the face of this planet. I spent 4 hours with her on a car trip and I wanted to shoot myself after an hour. She talked non-stop I think mostly about her cats (at least from what I remember...I kinda blanked out for awhile). We should get your co-worker and my sister-in-law together. Maybe we'd never see either one of them again. =)
2007-03-09 14:30:35 · answer #9 · answered by Jane 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes - I had a co-worker like that. I'm a super nice person who tries to listen to everyone but he was over the line. By the way, he just got fired for not getting his work done. I had to be the ***** and say, "I don't have time to listen. I'm working and you should be too." He didn't like me after that but I had to get my work done! I tried to just keep working and not really listen to him but he still didn't take the hint. Straightforward was the only way I could get through to him. Good Luck!
2007-03-09 13:57:19 · answer #10 · answered by mel m 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋