I am a 34 year divorced woman with a 15 yr old teenage son. I am focused on being a great role model for him therefore I am very aware of my actions.
I have run into a problem in the dating scene.
I believe in no sex before marriage. The guys I am meeting are telling me that I've already had sex and a son so I should not be holding back sex from them.
What is your feed back in this area?
2007-03-09 05:37:36 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thank you for all the feedback so far!
Here's another point to to comment on.
Thes guys seem to have not taken my view point seriously in the begining and thought that I would change my mind as time went along. However, once the see that I stick to my guns the disappear, ctop calling, and stop taking me out on dates. How do I deal with this situation?
2007-03-09 07:41:19 · update #1
I am looking for a long term relationship & I do not purposely elicit the type of men who would not want this.
I pay close attention to what I wear inorder not to give the wrong idea and I do not go out with the intention of attracting a man.
In addition to providing appropriate examples for my son, I abstain from sex before marriage because I feel that in the long run it is the right thing to do.
Also I feel most comfortable engaging in sexual relations while in a bonded, committed relationship, which is sealed and regognized by my friends and family by marriage.
I do not believe in casual sex. I am not comfortable with this type of activity.
I do not want to be another notch in someone's bed post, or another name in someone's black book. I am not that type of girl and and I do not present myself to be.
I dress modestly,, and conduct myself in a ladylike manner.
I believe my behaviour should speak for itself and attract only like minded persons toward me.
2007-03-11 19:57:17 · update #2
Stick to your beliefs, there is someone out there who will value your decision.
2007-03-09 05:41:03 · answer #1 · answered by licydechorerra 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like they are after one thing only. Maybe once you are in a serious relationship you would feel better and maybe even want to have sex with your partner. Today most kids have had sex long before being married so it probably would not surprise your son if he were to find out that his mom had sex with her boyfriend, but He may never find out. I still think it all goes back to the guys you are meeting just want to get a little and then you should hold on to your values.
2007-03-09 05:46:45 · answer #2 · answered by install3579 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would work if the guy's religious. You should just find someone who shares your views.
Honestly, I side with them. It shouldnt be a big deal as in you shouldnt wait until remarriage, but these guys probably want it on the first/second date. So say no. They think single mother and they think easy lay. If a guy comes a long that is decent and doesnt pressure you, then you might reconsider. Either way, a guy who's 30-35 shouldnt just be in it for the sex.
2007-03-09 05:46:30 · answer #3 · answered by elvatoloco2025 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should limit your man search to church (or church type functions) only. You need to be with people who feel like you do. It is your choice but you can't think that most men will be understanding about it. Are you sure you aren't just running way or avoiding it because of other reasons? Maybe your are "out looking" too early. Work on you?
2007-03-17 03:35:19 · answer #4 · answered by Monkey's uncle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your choice, and child or not you have the right to decide whether or not you will have sex with someone you are not married to.
If you were divorced, and didn't have a child, would they feel differently? It would be assumed you'd had sex when married so would they still expect you to have sex outside of marriage, simply because you've had sex before?
Do what works for you.
2007-03-09 05:41:38 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe you are being a awsome role model.Stick to your guns.You tell them its now not a matter of saving yourself for marraige you simply just don not believe in sex befor marraige(i am thinking you attend church and this may be a biblacal reason...Good Girl)so tell them you are better than them you are not risking an STD or a pregnacy.Try and find some christain single groups you could attend.Even if you are not a christain I am sure you could find some REAL MEn w/the same understanding..GOOD LUCK you are doing awsome
2007-03-09 05:47:39 · answer #6 · answered by anntanner 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not an easy to answer this, but there are alot of factors to consider. How long have you dated them? How long do you think it would take for someone to ask you to marry them? Is sex not important to your well being? Are you afraid of what your son would think?
These are questions only you could answer.
You don't want to have sex. Then don't have sex.
2007-03-17 06:35:32 · answer #7 · answered by juswunderin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hooray for you!!
I think you should try finding a better bunch of guys to date. Try attending a Bible believing church and join the singles group there. You will find that the majority of the guys there will wait until they are married to have sex. Also your kid will find other teens of the same mind as you and have them as peer models, though nothing is 100% guaranteed even in church.
2007-03-09 05:44:24 · answer #8 · answered by Captain Cupcake 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it is good to not have sex before marriage .It can help you fight against diseases you can contract . it does not really matter whether you have been a married before or not. I think that if they want it before marriage and you believe in not doing that then they should respect that .it is a good choice and don't let them say any different.
2007-03-17 04:05:47 · answer #9 · answered by Makoto 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The marriage vow or covenant commits you to a particular person. That commitment will allow you to overcome many of life's challenges. Too many people, either with marriage, or with work contracts or with rental agreements, with any sort of contract, do not honor them.
In teaching your soon to value commitment, and to value a promise, to value a contract, what better way to do it than be teaching him through example. Marriage is one of the greatest promises, commitments, contracts that you can possibly make.
2007-03-09 05:42:21 · answer #10 · answered by Kerry 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I was able to save my marriage thanks to my family and friends. I also read a lot about marital issues and tips on how to save your relationship. The ebook on this site helped me a lot http://savemarriage.toptips.org
Check it out it's worth it.
2014-09-25 23:05:45 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋