my step daughter is 16 and my daughter is 15 , and they are exeptionally close(and that is great and all...),but...
when they are together , the house is turmoil. What I mean by this , is the older one the other day acted all "tired" and said she was going to bed...I was like oh ok goodnight and then my 15 yr old did the same thing, well..a few hours later at around midnight I went to go check on the baby and cover him up and I noticed their radio in their room was not on and it is usually on and a night light is on, well it was off and so i wen to check on them. they were gone!! so i checked the whole house and outside front and back yard, well...before i panicked I callled Erica's mom and she and I suggested to have me call the cops to go and look for these teenagers of ours. my hubby was asleep and wanted no part in it and rolled his eyes. mind you it was a weeknight!! i called the cops and they went searching for them~ well 4 1/2 hours later at like 4:45 am they came back and....
2007-03-09 05:16:58 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
were sitting in the backyard lawn furniture trying to sneak back in with out getting caught...well i opend the back door and said BUSTED!! And arrogantly Erica says"what?!" and why "oh God we just went out for a while big deal" I said oh Big deal"!! you got the cops out looking for you and how dare u scare everyone like this and she was like getting all mad at me and both of them gave me dirty looks and rolled their eyes at me like i was the one in the wrong to be worried and scared and ticked off at them!!...that is another incedent..another one is they get snotty if i do not have cokes or dr peppers in the house i said both of u get 7.50 per hr at their part time job they can get treats w/that..i do buy sodas but not ALL THE TIME! and they refuse to drink milk or juice or water ..i will buy healthy food and a few snacks but mainly healthy and they get angry with me like i am depriving them. they pull that at disneyland infront of people & it is embarrassing as heck when they start!
2007-03-09 05:22:48 · update #1
erica and shelby will go gawwwh!! u mean u wont buy me cotton candy!!?! or churro!! i say look i will buy lunch for us but if u want extras u girls have $$ from work and they say oh how cheap! we wanna save it to go buy make up etc...i do not think i am cheap because if i was i would not even take them to disneyland and buy annual passes 4 them and buy them lunch there etc...nor buy hollister etc...they have to have especially the younger one has to have very expensive clothes and i am not rich..i am middle class and she and her step sis make me feel inadequate for Gods sake erica has a Tiffany and Co. bracelet !what would u say to them?
2007-03-09 05:26:44 · update #2
Well I see your husband and you are raising some juvenile delinquents. They are also liar's and conspires against you and your husbands rules. If your husband doesn't care about how his daughter acts, you have chosen a big dope for a husband. There is nothing you can do for his child but for your child, there is a lot you can do. First you need to separate them from living in the same room together. As punishment you need to move your daughter into the babies bedroom until such time she can act responsibly and follow your rules. You need to talk to your husband and explain that how he deals with his daughter is his business but if he doesn't respect you enough to take control of his daughter, you will have to reconsider how you feel about him. It is hard for you me to think that once you found out about the girls disappearance he was not concerned. Unless he just doesn't love his daughter. He certainly doesn't love yours, and doesn't care. Are you sure he is a man...? You have your work cut out for you... Sorry.. You choice.
Now is the time to step down on them and teach them the values they will need to learn for life. In three short years they will be of age. You should stop buying them gifts and if they have jobs let them buy themselves what they want for their needs. You just have to supply the eccentials like food, home, and some clothes, but that now is and should be restricted. You are doing the best job you can but at this age especially girls they will try your patience to the very end. You now have to be very hard on them. Make them learn how hard you work for your money by letting them work for their money. Set your rules now, hard and don't give in. Set your limits tight and don't give in. You are the parent, you know better, they don't. Their brains are full of mush and they will only think of themselves because they are self centered. You are not. It tough but stay the course and help them grown in to even thinking adults.
2007-03-09 05:30:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit them both down and have a long talk with both of them together. Tell them this is your house and they are to respect you and help out and stop acting like spoiled little brats! Nail the windows shut so the next time they try to sneak out, they can't. Ground them both for a month! Don't put up with their attitudes! Your the one in charge and they need to learn that! So many kids are so spoiled rotten these days! And why? Because parents are afraid to discipline them! They want to be their "friend" Not saying that's what you did. Just that you gotta watch out for that. Teens today get away with way too much and that's why they have those nasty attitudes. Because they are allowed to get away with it without any form of discipline! Also to those who say you deal with your kid and not his. Newsflash! They both belong to both of you! Your married! Step daughter or real daughter whatever! You knew he had a daughter when you got married. You took on that responsability so if your husband won't deal with it, it's serious family meeting time and time for you to take charge of the brats!
2007-03-09 06:09:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don,t worry, they will cool down. Many teenagers behave like this. They are excited by the world and want to explore everything. Only be firm and give rules and stick with them. Set standard, set guidlines. Let them know you,re the king here and you must be obeyed. Teenagers always test the resolve and firmness of their parents. To them it is a game but very serious one. Once they notice they can play pranks or get away with some silly things they will continue to do them and even worse. Don,t give them the chance! Extablish authority and be firm. I tell you, they may not like it but at the long run they will thank you for being wiser and protecting their lives and you will be happier you did. Goodluck.
2007-03-09 05:46:37 · answer #3 · answered by lovely 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a serious talk with her. Tell her that you're the adult and that she has to treat you with respect even if you're not her mother.Explain to her that her tantrums are very immature and that she has to act like a girl her own age and not like a child.Tell her that you're not punishing her when you're buying healthy foods;you're just thinking of her health.She can't expect you to buy everything that she wants,she's got to understand that what she needs and what she wants are very different.
2007-03-09 21:14:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are spoiling them STOP spoiling them your giving them opening to walk all over you take all the expensive that you gave them away there is no need to have that crap. That do that because you let them walk all over you if they want some thing then they have to work for it. If they throw a fit then walk away if they want to act like 2 year olds then treat them like two year olds.
2007-03-09 06:16:42 · answer #5 · answered by C.K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get them mobile phones and get tracking on them!!
But the rest you need the other mum and the Fathers help with...you have a baby to deal with as well!!
2007-03-09 05:36:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My 16 yr old and 15 yr old sons say, "She spoiled them early! The only way to get out of spoiledness (his words) is to get nothing. Tell them they are cut off. And the boyfiends they sneak out to see are probably over 18. Tell them to move in with them or pay you rent. They've got juice in the refrigerator and are complaining? They're spoiled."
I dunno about moving in with the boyfriends but I have to agree with the rest of what they said.
2007-03-09 05:29:32 · answer #7 · answered by answers999 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, your husband and his ex wife.. want you to take care of their child???? wow, he rolls his eyes not want to be part of it??? why in the world did he married you??? thinking that you will do all the dirty work and be the bad step mom???
You should look after your own kids... not your step kids. because not worth it at alll.. I have planning to married a woman who had 2 kids that not my real kids. and she beat the crap out of them I told her if we marry we have to change something like that in the house and she told me "you will not do anything with my kids and they my and not yours!" What did I do after she said that to me...??? I left her and Now I married to a wife that never had kids and so am I.. we have 3 kids and we working ahrd to teach and show love and ect. with our kids... and That dumb dude not helping you ??? whoa!!!!!!! So, look after your own kids and explain your own blood daughter that was not ok... and but teach her the right and wrong.. but don't try to have your daughter not talking to her step sister.
I wish u didn't meet this husband of yours.. since him and his ex wife not helping.. wow... asked your daugther where have you been and she will be honest with you if you don't get upset and just show that you care and concern and what best for your child.. if not mad at her then more she be honest and stright with you ... she either playing games or not.. step back and look at your daugther and see what has she done well or what???
I am doing with my Daughter now is 3 and son is 2 and I asked if she or he did't told me no and found out later they lie and I told them Daddy will not get mad if you being honest and I disspointed that you didn't tell me honest. and late my daugther had plm pee her bed and I told her oh no you peed your bed.. and she started to cryI told her Was I man?? she said nope then why... Sorry Daddy, I told her it ok sweetie it accident... guess what??? I forgot to tell story for her that night and I told her I forgot to tell you story last night so sorry. She said daddy it accident it ok.. I still love you... wow, so is my son did too.
So see what I am doing?? I am not going to be like my mom or dad what they sure did to me my life time. now they are no longer my parents... so I do hope you read this and udnerstand...
2007-03-09 05:29:51 · answer #8 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
remember, you're the parent and in charge.
they need to learn respect for you.
embarassment can be a good tool for you to use.. .right or not, I do not know, but it would probably be effective... you need to teach these brats some respect.
2007-03-09 05:25:41 · answer #9 · answered by bilko_ca 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the father, your husband needs to help more.
2007-03-09 07:14:42 · answer #10 · answered by Kreutzer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋