So kinda long story... my ex and I were on and off for about two years up until last week. He decided to tell me one night that he had been lying to me. During one of our 'off' moments, he went and slept with 4 different girls. We promised each other that we would always be honest with eachother. I had kissed a guy at one point, and when I told him he went balistic. hearing him tell me these things was just heart-breaking. I basically had a breakdown, and told him that I couldn't talk to him for awhile. Hesaid that it wasnt wrong what he did, just wrong that he lied about it, so I shouldn't be mad anymore now that he's being honest with me...
I spent the next two days trying to be okay, and finally got to the point where I realized that i was better than this and didn't need him to be okay, and that I am still an amazing woman.
My ex just called my work crying, saying he is so sorry and needs to see me and wants to make it right. Should I see him? I still love him, i just
2007-03-09 05:14:16 · 22 answers · asked by Mandi Jo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
am not sure if I can forgive him.
2007-03-09 05:14:38 · update #1
Just the thought of him with other girls makes me nauseous... but now hes realized that he was completely wrong with what he did. I just don't know if I should give him the chance to fix things...
2007-03-09 05:18:35 · update #2
Well this is not healthy, I think you should move on.. because even if you try to work it out he's gonna try to sleep with other girls too... Not worth the drama, save yourself..
2007-03-09 05:17:20 · answer #1 · answered by Rain L 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Infidelity is something that only two people can agree on before they go into a relationship. You guys didn't agree to see other people when you got together. Otherwise, it would have been an open relationship. If you have been wronged, there is no need to set yourself up for this again.
If he has slept with 4 people while you guys were off, he has a serious insecurity issue along with some other problems that really can't be cured by another relationship. No, you should not see him.
Read this excerpt below from a psychology website:
"Philandering is a predominantly male activity. Philanderers take up infidelity as a hobby. Philanderers are likely to have a rigid and concrete concept of gender; they worship masculinity, and while they may be greatly attracted to women, they are mostly interested in having the woman affirm their masculinity. They don't really like women, and they certainly don't want an equal, intimate relationship with a member of the gender they insist is inferior, but far too powerful."
2007-03-09 13:21:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on, you love him, the dude's crying so you must be an "amazing" woman to him. Just forgive him and stop being stubborn. You've done something that not many females have the power to do: reducing a man to tears.
Don't be sadistic. He's hurting for sure. Just tell him that if he ever sleeps with another girl again that you'll chop off his linguica.
Trust me, he'll listen and obey your rule. Besides, it's clear he loves you back too. I mean, he loved you so much that he was even willing to tell you something that (personally), I think he should have kept to himself, but, he wanted to be "real" to you so he was honest.
Give him credit for that. Give him a good 2 hour lecture reducing him to the lowest form on earth using every imaginable 4 syllable adjective you can think of, which, I must say, you females are always good at doing, and then after that: let him cry some more for another 3 hours, and then forgive him.
You have to enjoy the time he's crying and admire the power that you have over men. Not many females have that ability. Only two women have ever put me in tears before.
2007-03-09 13:23:28 · answer #3 · answered by Tones 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Im not saying go see your ex thats on you but this bf who slept with 4 girls leave him.He can not get mad at you for kissing a guy when he had sex with not one but 4 women andlied about it .If having sex is not bad enough it was with 4 partnas and he lied, and he is making you feel bad for being mad. YOu are an amazing woman and now that you realize that get your stuff and find someone who appreciates you with your amazing self. Demand Respect. Ladies are queens
2007-03-09 13:18:28 · answer #4 · answered by Im da Example 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me he has two sets of rules, he can sleep with 4 different girls { was he on a binge?} and that's not wrong only that he lied? lying and cheating go together.
But if you kiss someone he goes ballistic?
I could kinda understand 1 girl but 4? were was this love for you then? Hope it works out but he sounds selfish to me.
2007-03-09 13:23:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope you should not continue to see him. He is putting you in a vicious insanity cycle. Definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. There are reasons as to why you are already on again and off again and then for him to lie about it on top of that...not looking so good. I say that you end the relationship completely, you will heal over time the feelings of still caring about him are not going to get any easier to deal with if you keep hanging on.
2007-03-09 13:19:22 · answer #6 · answered by michy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, during a 'break', (sounds like Friends LOL) he had 4!!!!, count them, 4!!! encounters, or was it more than once with each of the 4????
Sounds to me like he's still immature, needing that much 'reassurrance', if you will, that he's attractive to others. Like he's thinking to himself, 'I can still have these even if YOU don't want me' Know what I mean?
When a partner needs to validate themselves sexually with someone else, it's a sign of great immaturity and low self worth.
Do yourself a favor, see him in reality, not in your "I still love him' mode.
He's too young emotionally for a serious relationship.
2007-03-09 13:25:53 · answer #7 · answered by tropical 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do u what honestly want to do. if u feel he is being genuine and u think he would make an honest and giving effort to do things right with u, then go ahead.
but if u sincerely think he is just missing u and will hurt u again, then skrew it. if ur amazing, and u are! - - then cut ur ties and be done. single life is great and so is life with a guy who cherishes u.
2007-03-09 13:23:34 · answer #8 · answered by ღ♫´`*♥Wine♥*´`♫ ღ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already made your decision...Now stick by it!!!
Going back is no good...no matter how much he cries about it you already moved on by making your decision that you didn't need him.
Don't let him persuade you that you do either.
What kind of guy is that promiscuous during an off, in an on off relationship...4 Woman!!??? He sure don't waste time thinking about how to get you back when your Off!!
Good luck!!
2007-03-09 13:23:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not the ex that is stupid. You are doing what you want, having an on and off relationship with someone that you are already decided isn't good for you. What does that say about you?
Do what you want, you are going to do it anyway.
2007-03-09 13:19:45 · answer #10 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋