i have a man that is 46 yrs. old and he makes fun of me every single day in front of his friends and thinks it's funny .. which i don't think it's funny .. when we are alone he does it too.. what can i do to STOP HIM FROM DOING THIS WITHOUT HAVING TO BREAK UP WITH HIM..?
2007-03-09 04:49:39 · 36 answers · asked by scgirl29201 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sit him down and explain that it's disrespectful and it hurts your feelings - if he doesn't care enough to change at this point then you need to get over it or get over him
2007-03-09 04:52:28 · answer #1 · answered by AriesJWR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, if he tries to deny it, or doesn't seem to understand that there is a problem, he may have some serious maturity problems. Otherwise, it may simply be that noone has stood up to him and pointed out just how disrespectful and uncaring his behavior really is. Just because he doesn't have a problem with that type of treatment, doesn't mean it is OK to hurt those he loves.
Tell your man that you don't mind being teased occasionally, but his behavior makes you feel like he has no respect for you, and doesn't care about your feelings. Ask him how he would feel if you and all his friends where always trying to insult him, and have a laugh at his expense. Tell him you want him to stop constantly insulting you. If he is not mature enough to handle such a simple request, you may have no other choice....
Be sure that when you confront him about his behavior, you try to be cool and reasonable about it. Tell him your feelings and describe the situation as you see it. Try not to be angry, judgemental, or defensive. Ask him questions about how he sees the situation, and try to let him know that you understand his point of view.
Lastly, If you do not wish to be treated this way, you need to 100% stop tolerating it. Keeping silent is the same as implying you approve of this kind of treatment. He may be doing it out of habit just because that's how he has always treated others.
Good luck,
~Donkey Hotei
2007-03-09 05:24:21 · answer #2 · answered by WOMBAT, Manliness Expert 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's really immature for a 46 year old. Why stay with someone who belittles you all the time? Does nothing for your self esteem or self respect.
You're finding reasons how not to break up with him. How silly can you get? Do you enjoy more punishment cos that is precisely what you'll continue getting if you stay with him. Don't think he'll change for you cos he enjoys it too much to stop. At 46 years old too. Wise up & stop dating that jerk.
2007-03-09 04:55:57 · answer #3 · answered by Bugsy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How is your own self esteem level that you would allow this and stick around for this kind of verbal abuse? Abuse comes in many forms and one of them is verbal. It degrades and minimizes a person and most often the abuser has very low self esteem. He needs to minimize you in order to make himself look better to others. Any reasonable person would think he is just an ***. He probably has friends that are much like him, so you are surrounding yourself and filling your life with a group of morons. Is that what you want? Do you really feel that you are that worthless? I would recommend that you find your own inner strength and motivation to walk away from that relationship. It will not get better, it will only get worse. You may want to read a few self-help books on self esteem building to give you the understanding and direction that you need to take. Sometimes the things that happen to us is what we allow people to do to us. Make a change. Good luck.
2007-03-09 04:59:14 · answer #4 · answered by Inquisitive 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey he's 46 years old, he's already set in his ways. He's doing this because you allow it to happen! If you don't want to break up with him, you do need to leave for a little while and let him see the consequences of his actions. If he stops doing it, then problem solved. If he keeps on, then you'll know you have to break up with him.
2007-03-09 04:56:32 · answer #5 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It stems from grade school, while most women grow up and mature, men never seem to get past that part in life, where if you like some one you kick them. I remember the good old days whey instead of telling a girl you liked her you could just push her into a mud puddle and it was understood that you were boyfriend and girl friend from that moment on. It is just our way of saying we care without having to actually say it.
2007-03-09 04:55:01 · answer #6 · answered by maxexposure2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably doing it because he has low self confidence and wants to impress his friends, but if he is putting his friends over your personl feelings then you should tell him he can just be himself around you and that he doesnt have to impress you all the time. Tell him to relax or if he is really a jerk tell him to get lost. Some guys also use this as a way to flirt because they are teasing the woman not making fun of her and want the woman to tease them back.
2007-03-09 04:53:52 · answer #7 · answered by ReconSix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with him for a serious conversation. Tell him you don't like the way he makes fun of you all of the time, and want it to stop. If he tries to catch himself when he starts to make fun, then you know that he can be rehabbed.
If not, he's not worth it. At all.
2007-03-09 04:52:30 · answer #8 · answered by Ask Aunt Amy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men think they are cool when they treat their girlfriends disrespectful especially infront of their friends..... I don't think he deserves you and you should give it a break... when realizes that he has lost you for the dumiest **** he is doing he is going to regret it.... he has to learn from his mistake the hard way over may be he'll never learn.... you have to make the stop to it.... good luck
2007-03-09 05:00:49 · answer #9 · answered by LeS 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its best if you tell him that u need a break and need to be alone for some time... tht will cause him to think and if he asks u why just tell him the truth.. tht him making fun of u is not respectful - esp. in front of his friends.. tell him he shouldn't do it at all and let him know whats on your mind...
2007-03-09 05:00:44 · answer #10 · answered by chi_twnchica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to find one that acts like a 46 year old.
2007-03-09 04:52:50 · answer #11 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋