she is alittle over 2 (Mariah) and keeps hurting my daughter who is only 13 months (suzanna). I tried punishing her by time out and doing what she dose to suzanna to her(just not as bad) and nothing ive tried has worked. Mariahs father works diring the day and I stay home with the kids. Mariah acts out more during the day rather then when daddys home. Dose anyone have an ideas on how to make her stop. I cant take it anymore, suzanna now has a screach on the side of her head and a red mark on her face. I dont know what else to do!!!! Im at an loss with her and I dont want suzanna to get hurt anymore.
2007-03-09 04:47:42 · 13 answers · asked by Chrissy 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Sorry I thought that you might need to also know that me and Mariahs father have been together for almost an year and she started acting out a couple of months ago. Also that Mariah dose see her really mother but not on a reagaler bases.
Mariah has choked, hit, scrached, and thrown toys, shoes and anything ethe she can.
HELP!! HELP!! HELP!!!!!!!
2007-03-09 04:51:09 · update #1
My son was two when I had another baby that is not unusual for them to be jealous. You have to watch the 13 month
old at all times when around this child. You need to explain that she can hurt the baby. Unless you feel this child is doing it out of malishness. Which I would hope not. Then I would bring it up to the pediatrician. I would not repeat the behavior on this child because it does not help to say dont hit and then hit. Although I can tell you it is tempting. I would just keep repeating dont hit and explain why and keep a close eye on the child. Kids at that age need things repeated to them many times. Continue what you are doing as far as the time outs as well. I wish you luck.
2007-03-09 05:07:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey I feel for you. I am the mother of two step daughters so I know where you are coming from. Unfortunately you really can't control a 2 year old, especially when they are living somewhere else part of the time. Just never let Suzanna be alone with Mariah. I know that's tuff, but at least until Mariah is a little older that’s about all you can do is keep Suzanna with you at all times.
2007-03-09 12:54:08 · answer #2 · answered by Mel in STL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's 2...she's still a baby..punishing her will have little effect unless you catch her in the act of hurting the little one....2 yr olds just do not make a connection between their actions and consequences to others. Do not leave her alone with Suzanna at ANY time...if she tries to hit the baby when you are there...stop her physically by holding her hands and saying NO loudly.... then make sure she gets plenty of alone time and one on one time with you and her daddy...remember she is a baby too, being a 'step' child has little to do with this....a 'blood' sibling would probably react the same way.
2007-03-09 13:01:31 · answer #3 · answered by sw-in-gardener 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She need to be given "time out". For as many times as she acts up, give her time out. Put a special chair facing the wall and make her sit there for 2 min at a time. Very sternly make her sit there. Continue to talk to her about "behavior" make her understand that it is not acceptable in any way. She has to be trained that you mean business...and have her Dad so the same.Be consistant about it. You have to let her know who is the boss. Be direct, don't loose your cool, if she sees that she will know that you are not in control and she is. Very gently tell her you know that she can be a good girl. Give her positive affirmations all the while. If she is angry make her talk about what it is that upsets her. Teach her how to express herself with hurting anyone. This is the age where she learns that. Then when you let her up, hug her and tell her she is loved. Maybe she is angry and sad about her mother abandoning her, who knows. 2's are a very tough age because she is not a baby anymore but she is not a "big girl" yet either. But, you are the adult and will always have the upper hand, if you go about this in a healthy loving way. I promise, things will be better...In the mean time look for a pre school for her. GOOD LUCK :)
2007-03-09 13:19:19 · answer #4 · answered by Ms Kamm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is only two,and obviously needs more attention.You say that you do to Mariah what she does to your daughter but not as bad...I hope you know that chocking hitting and scratching are child abuse!Put her in time out for a few minutes.Or try watching the kids.Where the heck are you while all of this is going on?
2007-03-09 12:57:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THe only thing you can really do is punish. She will eventually stop. I know its frustrating but she is "2". Just be consistent with the punishment. Don't let her get away with it. Not even once. I would do the time out. Remember-----1 min per year. (so 2 mins for her) and I would pick her right back up if she gets up from it.
It will work. Just be patient.
ALSO----she might just need some extra attention. She may be jealous. Make some time for just you and her.
2007-03-09 12:53:21 · answer #6 · answered by Momofboys 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first you need to quit looking at the two of them as his and hers they are your children both of them. Do what you would do if Suzanna did the same thing. Mariah needs discipline and to be taught she cant hurt others -remove her from reach of the other child, tell her no in a loud voice, tell her to be nice and not to hit- Do it every time and soon she will quit doing it.
2007-03-09 12:56:38 · answer #7 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Rule number one when dealing w/a toddler: Don't yell. Believe it or not, if you talk really softly, just above a whisper, it raises their curiosity and they will want to listen to you. You can try time out, but if they are under 2 1/2, they probably will not understand.
Depending on your state law, you may not be able to spank step-children (I can't spank mine), but there are other forms of punishment when she is older. Is there a way you could separate them? I know it is difficult, but a 13 month old is too young to play with an active two year old, and a two year old is too young to understand that she can't play rough with a baby. Hang in there and it will get better eventually. :)
2007-03-09 14:23:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her (in short sentences) and tell her until she learns to play nice with your daughter..she simply can't be around her. But do show her plenty of love because she's probably feeling jealous and has no idea how to show it or talk about it. But be firm but loving at the same time and be consistent.
Step-parenting is hard...I know, I have two of them. But explain to her it hurts the baby and that the baby loves her. She may also be frustrated that at 13 months the baby can't play with her that well yet. Just be patient, loveing and FIRM. But don't do what she does to the baby....that's not very smart...it only reinforces the behavior because she won't understand why you're doing it.
2007-03-09 12:58:14 · answer #9 · answered by boz4425 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NEVER Punish her by hurting her!!!
She feels like nobody wants her.
You need to sit and play with her...Not punish,Tell her that you love her and so does the baby so she should be nice because hurting is not a good thing.
Give her a hug and then sit her down with something to do.
Game,Play dough,Etc
DO NOT PUNISH HER!!DO NOT YELL AT HER!!
If you do ALL that you are doing is the same thing she is!!!
It is normal for a 2 year old to do this Really,You need to distract her.Let her play with the baby BUT make sure she has her own thing to do...AND PAY Attchion to HER
2007-03-09 12:54:20 · answer #10 · answered by Gizoku 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋