Jokes Please?

Question

Any body got any good jokes i can tell my grl.

Answer 1

If shes nt blonde, here r some:
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: Threw it off a cliff.

Q: how do you know if a blonde tried to commit suicide?
A: there were six bullet holes in the mirror.

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the
first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't
land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

If shes blonde then here r some:
teacher; tell me 5 water animals
stuthent: fish,
teacher: good, but tell me another 4;
stuthent: fish mather, father, brother, sister

how do you keep an idiot busy?
read below.
how do you keep an idiot busy?
read above.

Q: What did the zero (0) say to the eight (8)?
A: Nice belt

Hve fun tellin them.

Answer 2

Tell her this one only if she has a great sense of humor or when you ready to dump her:

A husband and wife came for counselling after 15 years of marriage.

When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I go fishing."

Answer 3

mobile jokes:
some times small
things in life

hurt a lot.....


if udont agree
with me


then
>>>>>

try to sit

on a pin

Answer 4

Walk up to her and say
"Fat Polar Bears"

She'll say "What about them?"

then you slide in with
"I just wanted to say something to break the ice"

She'll love it.