Ok his dad has lung cancer and is in th hospital not looking too good. He is calling me and wanting to talk but i dont really know what to say to him. Do I just let him say what he wants to say and and not respond, or do i talk about something else and try to keep his mind off of his dad?
I've never have been in this situtation. I feel bad, cause I'm suppose to know what to do. I was and sorta still close to this family for awhile.
I need help please any suggestions he comes back to town tonight and will want to see me.
2007-03-09 04:32:30 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
He's reaching out to you. If you are still friendly with him, then you should talk with him. Let him do most of the talking, and just be kind. You'll know what to say when you talk with him. He must value your friendship and need your support now, so if he was an O.K. person then you should just be there for him.
2007-03-09 04:37:29 · answer #1 · answered by true blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be supportive. If he wants to talk about his dad, then let him vent and offer support and encouragement (as a friend). Let him know that you feel bad for him and his family. If he wants to be distracted, try getting a group of people together so that there will be others for him to talk with and interact with too. The group thing also helps reinforce the idea that you are no longer a couple. Be polite and friendly, but know where to draw the line. Many times people who experience sudden tragedy want to revert to old habits. Especially if this is a new break-up or you went together for a long time you will need to make firm boundries that let him know that just because he has had a major personal tragedy, that does not mean you will be getting back together. Other than that, you cannot "fix" the situation, so let him vent for a while, but remember that you probably do not need extra stress. So cut yourself some slack and make sure you don't get too caught up in his family. Good luck.
2007-03-09 04:44:43 · answer #2 · answered by SweetiePie26 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he starts talking about his dad, DON'T change the subject. That indicates that you don't care. Take his cues...if he wants to talk, listen to him. He knows that there's nothing you can do and is probably just needing to get his feelings out and talk to someone he trusts. If he calls you and doesn't mention his dad, don't bring it up because maybe he's trying to distract, although maybe toward the end of the conversation, you could ask how his dad is doing. Again, that shows you care. Don't feel bad about not knowing what to do!! There's nothing you can do! My mom died from lung cancer 5 years ago and I can tell you that your ex does not expect you to "fix" anything. He just needs someone to talk to! When you see him, just hug him and tell him you're sorry, give him a shoulder to cry on if he needs it. That will mean more to him in the longrun anyway....you just being there for him.,
2007-03-09 04:45:00 · answer #3 · answered by First Lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my mother to lung cancer 3 years ago the day after thanksgiving. Still the hardest thing Ive ever been through in my life. I was in the same position as your ex, the out of towner coming back in. One of my ex-girlfriends stopped by to see my mom a few days before she died and we had some very good conversation. We spent some time talking over the next few days and as it turned out, it was the best and only therapy i got at that time. I needed someone to talk to and she listened. We actually walked down to the creek to an old swimming hole we swam in as kids and sat and talked there. We talked about old times, old friends, my mom, her family, and such. None of this conversation was intiment and neither of us expected it to be. It was not awkward at all and to this day, I m very glad that I had someone there for me to talk to. I guess my short answer is, you should be a friend and if he tries to make it intiment, ward it off immediately and be straight forward with him about your feelings or lack there of about him. If you truly care about his father, reassure him of that and leave it at that. Hope this helps.
2007-03-09 04:56:02 · answer #4 · answered by dougwomack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad died of lung cancer last year -- its a horrible way to go. Just be there for him and his family. There isn't a right or a wrong thing to say -- just listen to him and be his friend. Losing a parent is so hard... Good Luck and I will say a prayer for his father and his family
2007-03-09 04:39:19 · answer #5 · answered by CupCake 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he asks you to be there, you should atleast be there to listen to him. If he also asks you a question, you can say you really don't know the information, but at least you can look it up on the internet for him. The best thing is to be there for him and at least make him feel better so he can live longer.
2007-03-09 05:52:58 · answer #6 · answered by Roxas of Organization 13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him to try Graviola. This is from the amazon rain forest and selectively hunts down and kills 12 different kinds of cancer including breast, prostate,Lung, colon and pancreatic. You can get this by calling 416-4668432 and ask for Francis.
2007-03-09 06:16:33 · answer #7 · answered by Bruce 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say ... be civil and ... show your conceern for his dad. If it looks like he is looking for pity for himself ..... you can only extend some empathy but .... only go as far as you want to. I see no reason for you to feel obligated to see him in person .... you can extend feelings via a phone call ... letter or card. That is normally adequate.
2007-03-09 04:42:21 · answer #8 · answered by burlingtony 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just listen that is all he needs. But you can talk too.
2007-03-09 04:36:01 · answer #9 · answered by kingsgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can tell him that you are sorry to hear that
but in a nice way tell him there is nothing you can
do anyway he should realize you 2 arent together any more
2007-03-09 04:37:35 · answer #10 · answered by caffsans 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋