my ten year old Jake, hit a kid who tried to kiss my 9 year old daughter, Sylvee. i appreciate the fact that he's looking out for her, but my husband and i don't promote violence. should we punish him. He says he's not sorry for what he did, and he'll do it again if he has too (that's what scares me).
2007-03-09 04:21:44 · 34 answers · asked by luv my kids nasty comm. unwanted 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
yes, i do have 16 kids. and i'm pregnant with twins. and i'm also going to be taking in my sisters 2 toddlers should her illness get worse. a total of 20 kids, pray for us please.
2007-03-09 04:31:17 · update #1
I don't think you should punish him for sticking up for his sister. I personally think it's awesome that he sticks up for her. My brothers never did that for me when I was a kid. but maybe you could sit him down and think of non-violent way he could stick up for his sister, that way he's still protecting her but he's not hitting anyone.
2007-03-09 04:28:26 · answer #1 · answered by SVU fan for life 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First let me say wow I want 16 kids Im jealous! Wonderful JOYS
I have a ten yr old whom I wish would stick up for his 8yr old sis. But let me say I agree in non violence.
Jake needs to realize that physical contact is not necessary- This does not take you actually physically punishing him since that would be a contradiction. This does not take you grounding him either since that seems out of line. Basically some talking too and scenerio play will help this.
Kids usually handle their issues in fair ways but in todays "law- abiding" society its very hard to always be fair... most times even though it seemed the right thing to do they would both be punished from school or wherever...
Tell Jake its great he cares about his sister but he can not put his hands on other people.
Good luck and I meant what I said I love children U have been so blessed!
2007-03-09 04:37:08 · answer #2 · answered by Christal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. thats his job to defend his little sister. If he was just plain bullying a kid then I would say punish him. But, he was defending his little sister, he probably didnt approve of the little boy kissing her, which he shouldnt had any business doing anyway, which you guys should feel the same way to. It's good that he will stick up for his sister, at least you know hell have her back when she needs him. Just remember it wasnt a act of violence because he wasnt being a bully, he was merely being a big brother and doing what big brothers do. What was he doing kissing her in the first place?
2007-03-09 04:32:51 · answer #3 · answered by alonnac20 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At nine years old it is not unusual that some boy would try to kiss her. I think you need to explain this to your son or he will continue to hit the boys. If the attention is unwanted, which I hope it is your daughter should tell the boys she is not interested and if they did this against her will she should tell a teacher if it happened at school. If it was out in the neighborhood you could talk to his parents if he continues or just express your daughter is not ready for this. As far as as your son he was doing what he felt was right, I would not punish him I would have a talk with him about it. Unless the boy was forcing himself on her it is not justified to hit. Also, to always use violence as a last resort. He loves his sister and is trying to protect her. I will pray for you and your family. I hope your sister is ok, and I will keep her in my prayers as well. you defiantly have your hands full. Good luck and god bless.
2007-03-09 04:34:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, but you should tell him not to do it again, unless he has first talked to the kid and explained that kissing someone who doesn't want to be kissed is as bad has hitting someone. Let him do what he feels necessary to protect Sylvee, but make sure he understands it's a last resort, not permission to go around hitting others
2007-03-09 04:38:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say this calls for both punishment and reward. Praise him for defending his sister, but punish him to let him know that violence is not acceptable, under any conditions. (when he gets older he'll be able to see the gray areas between violence and self-defense, between protecting and attacking, between vengenance and justice, but that might be too much for a ten-year-old to grasp right now.)
Explain to him what he SHOULD have done in this situation - pulled his sister out of the way, talked to the boy, told the teacher, etc - so he knows what to do next time, and explain why talking is more effective than hitting.
2007-03-09 04:31:53 · answer #6 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well If Sylvee(great name by the way) was bothered by this boy trying to kiss her then her brother did what he thought he should do. Talk with him about using words first before using fists. But I would not punish him - he was being a good big brother!!
2007-03-09 04:25:52 · answer #7 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Kudos to your son for protecting his sister, but he needs to understand that hitting is not the right thing to do. Right now I would sit him down and explain the right and wrong way to defend a person. If he continues to hit kids even after your talk than yes I would punish him, but I would also seek anger management help for him.
Good luck!
2007-03-09 05:14:34 · answer #8 · answered by Important 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness! YOU ARE SUPERMOM! I have a 7 year old, and I'm pregnant with a boy now and I am TERRIFIED....you have my respect. I think your son should be punished if you don't agree and he is not remorseful....no matter how heroic his deed was. If you do not promote violence, make that clear, and try to help him to figure out a better way to deal with the situation next time.
2007-03-09 04:39:12 · answer #9 · answered by me_oh_my 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did the daughter want the kiss?
If the kiss was unwanted or undesired, do not punish your son. If it was desired, let him know that it is not appropriate.
Violence is never a good thing, but do not, Not, NOT tell him that it is never appropriate. There are times, such as a sister being sexually assaulted, that call for violence.
2007-03-09 04:30:23 · answer #10 · answered by Jay 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well i think Jake did a good thing. Would you feel differently if they were older and it was a worse offense? He was protecting her and he was doing what a big brother should do. How would she have felt if he did not stick up for her? Would she think that it was okay? I t was not okay for the other boy to do that and now he knows not to do it again. That is what big brothers do.
2007-03-09 06:30:31 · answer #11 · answered by triplep_01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋