As a parent, would you tell your kid to save it for marriage?

Question

...or save it till he or she is adult and mature enough to handle the consequences? Would it differ if it were your son, or if it were your daughter?

I mean when he or she brings up "that" topic

Answer 1

First, I wouldn't wait until they bring it up. This subject will be discussed at a young age so that it is instilled in them for years. Plus, there are 10 yr olds out there having sex....crazy, but true.

I will definately tell my children that they should wait until marriage, but deep down I know that isn't likely. I will also tell them how to be safe and smart about sex and the consequences of not being safe or smart.

Answer 2

As a parent of three I say absolutely. What I tell my sixteen year old and have been since she was younger, is that it is better if she saves it for marriage. If she dont, that she should wait until she is in an adult committed loving relationship. That with sex comes feelings that she is not ready for and that a boy will tell her anything to get her to have sex. This is true no matter how much guys try to deny it. Its not to say every boy but the majority. As far as raising my son I plan on raising him the same way. Girls very often are the aggressor too. I think that sex should be saved for that very special person. The people that dont wait generally regret it when that special person comes along. I want to add I told my daughter that if she decides not to wait, which I am opposed to, then to make sure to use condoms. Although I wont provide them because I do not condon this behavior. The school gives them out for those that dont know.

Answer 3

Well, I can honestly tell my kids that the only man I have ever been with is their father. Did we wait until we were married? No. Did we wait until we were committed to being together? Yes. Also, I can use the example of my husband's sister, who got pregnant young, married because of the pregnancy, divorced right after the baby was born, now has two kids by two different fathers, not married to either, and has completely given up hope of ever getting a college education. It will not matter if it's my son or daughter (and I do have both), they will hear the same things.

Answer 4

First off they don't bring up the topic. The parent has to bring it up. I would just have a talk with them, tell them the consequences of their actions (std's, teen pregnancy etc) and then let them make the decision for themselves. I'm not so much concerned if it is before or after marriage than that they practice safe sex. If it were my son I'd tell him not to let a girl tell him "don't worry i'm on birth control" but to use a condom every time. If it were my daughter I'd teach her not to let guys take advantage of her and also practice safe sex. You have to know your own children and adjust accordingly.

Answer 5

I guess saying to wait for marriage is what parents are supposed to say. (who gives permission for there kid to have Sex?) But really is that going to happen? Probably not. I did not wait. How many people did? In these times it is even less kids that wait then when I was a teen. So having the talk and telling them to wait is okay I guess but really they should be taught about protection (not only for pregnancy but for STD's)I would rather be safe than sorry

Answer 6

Personally, at the age of about 15, I'd likely ask my daughter if she wanted to go on birth control. If she didn't, the offer would still stand whenever she thought she was ready.

This whole "save it for marriage" thing is archaic; it comes from a time when women were PROPERTY and were considered worthless if they didn't bleed like a stuck pig when their husbands virtually raped them on the wedding night. Do I want to promote that in young women today? NO WAY!

Young people should be educated on safe sex, and be given the resources to make safe, smart decisions.

Answer 7

I want all three of my kids to wait until they are married. But if they do decide to have sex before marriage, I would hope that they are old enough and mature enough to handle the consequences......

Answer 8

I will tell her to do it for the right reasons (not on a party when intoxicated, not just out of curiousity or because of being horny, not to please the boy).
I will tell her that the 1st sex is an event she'll remember for the rest of her life, so she should do her best to make it a very positive experience.

And I'll tell her to use BC and condoms to avoid STD, but I won't tell her to wait until marriage. It would be completely ok with me, if she would wait until marriage, but I don't expect her to do so.

Answer 9

I would tell my child not to have sex before the age of 18 because he or she does not want to risk being a teen parent.

There is not really anything you can do after they hit 18, I mean if you find out they had sex when they are like 16 then you can ground them ad such but once they hit 18 they are free to do what they want, all you can do is tell them your opinion and hope they make the right decision.

Answer 10

My parents did and I did. But for me my abstinence had little to do with church or my parents although in fairness their influence did contribute. For me if I ever got into a "situation" I always thought things like "what if?". . she got pregnant, is this someone I want to have conflicts with for the rest of my life? What if I got sick? I COULD DIE at worst and best embarrassed for getting the clap or whatever. So I settled for perfecting my foreplay, which can be satisfying too.

If you have a daughter, IT IS EXTREMELY important because historically women and girls who get pregnant or sick feel more alone and helpless then boys. Not to mention how gullible and trusting teen age girls are when being manipulated by opportunistic teen age boys.

I hope this helps, DONT BE SCARED.