My husband to be and I keep bickering over his family time. My family is all in town, almost all of his are at least an hour away. The problem is, I always get left out. If I get upset or tell him I feel left out, I somehow always end up the bad guy because I "don't want him to spend time with his family." But when he spends time with him, its like he suddenly tosses me aside, and the time frame messes with me. He wants to go spend time out with his sister, but it can't be just leaving, say 4ish driving up there and hanging out and coming back, He has to leave at noon on sat. and not come back till sunday evening. I just don't feel that its reasonable, and he never has a compromise.
2007-03-09 03:45:43 · 11 answers · asked by Lady M 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I can't go because I have obligations with my sons who are home this weekend. Turns out, he thought I was trying to make him feel guilty because i couldn't go, which was why he was holding out on me with answering my questions...
2007-03-09 08:00:06 · update #1
His family is an hour away, but I still dont see any reason he needs to stay there almost the whole weekend.... Id go with if I were you because he may not be seeing his sister. Sounds like something else might be going on. If he is completely trustworthy and he really is spending all this time with his sis.... Try working it out where you both go to your fam every other weekend. So when its YOUR turn, you go to yours, and visa versa. My husband and I do this, and it seems to work out ok.
2007-03-09 03:49:31 · answer #1 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's going to need time with his family. You both are not seeing eachothers side of this story. I see that you are feeling upset and feeling left out, and what he sees is that he just wants to be close to his family when he can. The best soloution is to tell him that you want him to spend time with his family, but there also needs to be you and him time as well. Make trips together and see his family thats far. Try to become closer to his family, as he would want. Have days that it will only be you and him, and do something together as a marraige couple. But just make sure you give him space to see his family that he doesnt get to see all the time. Family is everything. Your lucky because your family is close to you and you dont have to leave for days or drive for hours to see them. Driving four hours to go his his sister is long, just driving there and than coming right back the same day, wouldnt be fair. So instead you should go with him, spend time with this sister. Making it a one time a month or so forth is fine, just make sure you have time on the calender for husband and wife time too.
2007-03-09 11:53:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to win over him slowly.instead of reacting in a selfish way make him understand that his future is more with you.as he had grown up with his family since birth he has more attachment with his kith and kin.when you start showering your love affection he would spend much time with you.when he does so do not completely isolate him from his family.there are many things in this world which a wife alone can give at the same time cannot replace a sister.know these limits and live happily.
2007-03-09 11:53:47 · answer #3 · answered by gem_76_1999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you do a little research. Why can't you go with him? Especially when he's staying the night! It seems to me like there's something else to this that you don't know. I have been married for 10yrs. and his family is my family & visa versa. And an hour is not THAT far away. Saying you don't want him to spend time with his family seems like he is trying to make you feel guilty and divert your attention away from whats really going on. I don't see why you have to be left out--why can't you go to? Maybe you need to find that out. But yahoo answer will not supply that answer sweetheart.
2007-03-09 11:54:09 · answer #4 · answered by boolissa2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drive separately. That way you can go and spend time with his family and leave when you are ready. Tell him that you have responsibilities at home that prevent you from spending the entire weekend, but you do want to visit. It's all about compromise.
2007-03-09 11:51:50 · answer #5 · answered by ncmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I think you are crazy. Wanting to spend "an entire day and a half" with his sister, is not unreasonable! Stop being such a baby.
2007-03-09 11:52:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sister??? This jerk has a girl friend! It took me awhile to catch on too. It's time to follow him.
2007-03-09 11:50:45 · answer #7 · answered by moonrose777 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, if he is inviting you to go then you cant really complain. If he isnt inviting you to go then there might be someone else.
2007-03-09 11:50:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously family is important to him. but soon you're going to be apart of the family. i don't see why he's being so stubborn. he has to understand that you're coming into the family, and you need to get to know these people. maybe you should talk to someone in his family, so they can talk to him.
2007-03-09 11:50:19 · answer #9 · answered by BAM 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be nice.
2007-03-09 14:15:52 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋