My mother in law is heavily into religion. If anyone has read my posts, you'll see that she can be a little over the top. In the past, I have told my mother in law that I don't want to discuss religion and have gotten into a fight about it because she tries to push it on me and my husband. She tells me that I need to get rid of my husband's violent movies and get him to listen to religious music. I am a Christian. I went to catholic school for 9 years and I taught in a catholic school for 6 years.
Ever since our fight, she's slowly talking about religion again. It burns me up inside because I told her that I don't want to discuss. My husband (her son) doesn't agree with parts of her religion either but lets her talk to appease her. But everytime she's here in our house...it never fails. I know it's a big part of her life but there are other things to talk about and I just feel like she's disreguarding what I said.
What can I say or should I just suck it up and deal with it
2007-03-09 03:45:41 · 24 answers · asked by qtpie 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Tell her that you want her as a part of yours and your potential children's lives, but that it's not her place to judge you and your husband (it's God's), and that she is welcome in your house, but not her Judgement. The moment she brings it up, she's abusing the privledge of being your mother-in-law, and she needs to be shown the door. It's none of her business. It's pushy people like her that give Christianity a bad name.
2007-03-09 03:51:35 · answer #1 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please do not take REVEREND's advice. To exclude your mother-in-law from your life is inappropriate and would show disrespect to your husband and his family. Pray for her, don't fight with her. Above all, forgive her intrusions into your household. I know that it can try a person's patience to have to listen to nothing but talk concerning Jesus day and night. This might sound strange coming from a minister, but i am in an environment where I must tolerate this day and night. You are correct in that there are other things to talk about other than religion, but some people take the attitude that "if it ain't about Jesus, then it ain't about nothin' ". You have probably tried this before, but it nefver hurts to try it again, and that is to gently steer the conversation away from religion, or include some social topic with it. I am sure that your mother-in-law has other interest; it just may take a little time to discover them. And above all DO NOT DWELL ON THE PROBLEM DAY AND NIGHT!!!!! You make yourself a nervous wreck and that is what the devil wants. Don't give him any ammunition. Love conquers all things, for there is no law against love. Jesus loves you.
2007-03-09 11:59:34 · answer #2 · answered by Preacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is what I would do and I am dead serious.. get a squirt bottle and set it on the table in front of you when she comes over.. Tell her point blank that if she so much as mentions religion you will squirt her. At first she wont know what to do and wont take you seriously, but pretty soon she will because everytime she talks about religion you are gonna squirt her right in the face. I know you probably think I am a weirdo but its better than fighting and I use it for my dogs so why not take it to the next level? I have used it with great success on unruly children as well, not a word of a lie. It helps make people(or dogs) understand that your rules and requests are non-negotiable and that if they dont follow them, they get immediately and shockingly punished... in a non violent but very effective way. Thats my advice, I dont expect you to take me seriously or try it but Im telling you it would work better than you think.
2007-03-09 11:56:49 · answer #3 · answered by Kelly + Eternal Universal Energy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your house and you need to set the boundaries. It's unfortunate that your husband won't step up to the plate, but my husband is like that about his mother too.
Can you keep saying things that set your boundaries in a friendly way? Like with a smile on your face - things like "Well, we disagree about some matters of religion and since we'd like our time with you to be pleasant, lets talk about things that we have in common." Or "Oh! We're having a day where we don't talk about religion, politics and sex. They seem to cause arguements."
I agree, she's disregarding what you said. Some people just need lots of reminders. They're like a dog, always trying to push that back gate open.
2007-03-09 11:50:30 · answer #4 · answered by Laptop Jesus 2.0 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband and you need to sit down and talk clearly about the issues caused by your mother-in-law when she visits you.
The first thing you need to point out to your husband is that you don't mind his mother visiting you, but her religious harassment must stop. The two of you must tell his mother that she is welcome in your house as long as she stops preaching you her religious beliefs.
You must reasure the lady that both of you really want to have a friendly relationship with her, but you cannot allow her religious imposition in YOUR HOME. Yes, it is your home, not hers.
The reason why she keeps trying to force her beliefs on you is because you have yielded your ground before her. Stand in your grounds, draw a line, and say, "these are the rules, because this is my house. Anyone interested in visiting us, must abide by our rules."
2007-03-09 12:13:40 · answer #5 · answered by David G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to have another pow-wow with hubby. It's your and his home, you 2 are the head of the house there. Talk to him about the degree of discomfort his mom causes in you, and how you're unhappy because it makes you feel apprehensive and ready to fight with her (if this is true for you). Put the responsibility on his shoulders to convince his mom to further tone down her soapbox drama--maybe she'd like to impress you with her mild, kind, respectful Christian conduct (ha!), instead of trying to drill it into you with verbal urgency. The Bible teaches we can win others over WITHOUT A WORD, based upon our upbuilding (not alienating) conduct. Maybe she could go there...
Good luck.
2007-03-09 11:52:37 · answer #6 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear your having such a hard time, personally to keep peace and possibly make your life easier (without the arguing) I think you answered your own question. Just let her rant and rave and give her the uh, huh... yep's and when she;s done or whatever you can move on.. Maybe, after that she will slow it down.. Best wishes and good luck.
2007-03-09 11:50:33 · answer #7 · answered by dadknows 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, this is Chad at the Crisis Center. We appreciate your call. Although some leeway should be given to mothers in general, we suggest that if it is a on going issue, you calmly remind your mother that religious discussion is not tolerated in your household. Thanks for calling and have a nice day.
2007-03-09 11:51:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will need your husband to help you with this, as it is his mother. But I would make it known that while she is as YOUR house, religion won't be discussed. But, again, you will need your husband to back you up, otherwise she will continue to do it because he lets her.
2007-03-09 12:01:28 · answer #9 · answered by Kithy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have two choices,
1. Suck it up and deal with it as best as you can while politely reminding her that you would really rather not talk about it.
2. Don't invite her to come to your home anymore.
2007-03-09 12:10:54 · answer #10 · answered by rbarc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋