How can so many people still think it’s completely harmless to raise a kid with no father present?

Question

After all of the problems that have occurred in this country, how can people still be so blind and act so nonchalant about it? Just because celebrities do it doesn’t make it ok. How about demonstrating some maturity and self control and keep your pants up out of wedlock? Think of what the child has to suffer and think about how society has to suffer. (Crimes have been linked to homes with lack of fatherly guidance). A child needs a father, and shame on anyone who thinks otherwise. I have sympathy for people who had children in wedlock but then whose spouse died or ditched them, were raped, or adopted a kid, but other than that, I can’t think of any other legitimate excuse. It's not the 60's anymore. It's time to move on.

Answer 1

I think you right about children needing a father however i don't believe being out of wedlock matters. I think a child should be brought into a stable relationship. Stable doesn't always mean married. So many relationships end in divorce these days. I don't believe in marriage. That paper wont make me love my man more and i don't need one to prove to other people that we love each other. I think a lot of men need to step up and be a father regardless of the situation just be around. What people do need to worry about is the cracked out parents that keep having kids even though their other kids have been taken away.

Answer 2

Are you stupid?

For one the "Crimes have been linked to homes with lack of fatherly guidance" is a load of crap, I know because my aunt works for DCF.

A child does not suffer because they have no dad and I suggest you educate yourself because there are plenty of men who walk away from there marriage when there wife becomes pregnant.

Just because someone has a child out of wedlock does not make them a bad person and does not mean they can not give that child a great life and great home and shame on you for thinking any diffrent.

Where do you even get the right to sit here and tell people to keep there pants up till they are married? It is one of your darn business , some people have kids and never get married, look at Jean Simmons from Kiss and Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel, they all have kids yet are not married..I guess to you they are horrible people and immature, Some people do not believe in marriage or think marriage ruins things.

the comment "Just because celebrities do it doesn’t make it ok" was dumb because you made it sound as if people do it just because celebrities do it. This has been going on for hundreds of years and it is not going to change anytime soon and I could not care less about those who have kids before marriage because it is one of my business.

You want to sit here and talk about maturity well before you go telling people to be mature maybe you should start acting mature.

Answer 3

I agree that kids need both a father and a mother, but lacking one of the two doesn't exactly mean that the child is headed for doomsday. Having a kid out of wedlock doesn't make you a bad person because you'll be a single parent. There are people who did have kids after they got married, but end up getting divorced or annuled anyway. That doesn't make them any better than someone who had a kid out of wedlock, does it? Do not scrutinize single parents (for whatever reason that they are) -- some single parents have also raise great kids; in the same way that some parents have also raised terrible kids. It's not how many parents there were that matters -- it's quality of parenthood, not quantity.

Answer 4

Then move on.......Some fathers dont deserve to be in a childs life and can make it worse. Not everyone has the same views on everything and that's just the way it is. And celebrities have nanny's that take care of their kids so they dont have to stay at home all the time and feed them in the middle of the night. Would you think it would be any different if there were crimes linked with no mother present? Crimes happen daily whether or not people have a father in their life. I guess shame on me.

Answer 5

What? My daughters are now 3 and for the first half of their life they did not have a father. They are growing up perfect. It was out of wedlock but who cares, marriage does not always mean a perfect family. I am not going to marry the father of my children because he is their father I am going to marry him because I love him and it is what I want. And sure a kid needs a father but that does not mean that they wont grow up to be a good person because he is not around. I also don't understand your comment about the 60s. According to my grandparents during that time it was looked down upon to have kids and not be married, and divorce rate was not high as it is today.

Answer 6

I was raised with no father, my father died when I was a year old. Think of how my life was growing up with no father. Perfectly fine. My mother raised my brother and I very well, we didn't smoke, drink, party till we were of age. We never disobeyed her, never talked back, why??? because it was ok to spank your children. We knew that if we did wrong, we were going to get a good ole butt whooping. My mother did her best raising us, and we have an awesome relationship with her. Was I lacking a father figure in my life, no, I had uncles, grandfathers, all that were there for me if needed, and my brother did all the manly things with them.
My cousin on the other hand had a baby out of wedlock, and her and the father split up just after baby came, he barely takes part in the childs life, so was it her fault she had a baby out of wedlock and their relationship didn't work? No. Is it her fault he is hardly there for her daughter, NO. Many married couples have children and split up, so what makes having a child out of wedlock any different. I had a baby out of wedlock, my fiance and I are still together, and plan on getting married, but our relationship can still end, something could happen in the future and we could split up. My aunt was married for 16 years and then divorced. So to say people should not have children out of wedlock makes no difference of married couples having children and then divorcing. A friend of mine was married for a few years, had 4 children, and the father is now a deadbeat, wants nothing to do with their children. So should they have kept their pants on? Many mothers can raise their children to be honorable people. My mother did. And to assume that crime is assosciated to fatherless children, is just stupid. The happy married family can still have children that turn to crime. Stop judging people. Thats why we have so much crime, people like you judging others. Get a life, and keep your comments to yourself.

Answer 7

I don't understand your comment about the 60's. Very odd. You do seem to be pretty narrowminded anv very self-righteous. God forbid you ever get a divorce; you'd have to eat a lot of crow. My son was raised for a while without a man around. Yeah, his father abused us both. Apparently according to you, my son would have been better off? You need to re-think this because you are only looking at the subject from one side-YOURS. Sometimes people cannot stay with the fathers. It's just not possible. If I hadn't left his father, there is no doubt in my mind I'd be dead and my son would be in foster care. No doubt at all.

Answer 8

Children can grow up perfectly well in a house with no man present. They can have mentors such as grandfathers, uncles or coaches who take a special interest in them. Most Moms are careful to make sure their sons are with men when ever possible. Saying a woman needs a man to raise a child is self serving and your lecturing will not change anyones mind. Most women would prefer to live with a father for their children but it didnt work out.

Answer 9

Shame on you for being so narrowminded. Studies have also shown that children from low income families also have been linked to crimes, so can we force those homes to get more income when they are struggling as it is? What if the father dies after the baby is concieved but before it is born? Such as the case with many of our military wives, do you shame them? Are you a parent? Do you have children? It is time for you to think outside your narrow little box and realize that children are born everyday because of rape, incest, and from fathers who for one reason or another have died, not necessarily out of wedlock. I give praise to those mothers who are strong enough to make it alone.

Answer 10

My husband was raised without a father. His dad was a drunk, a drug addict, and abusive towards his mother. She left him when the kids were very young, and worked 3 jobs most of the time she was raising them because their father didn't feel the need to pay child support. (He still owes her close to $30,000.) Her kids turned out GREAT, in fact, better than they possibly would have had their father been around. And the fact that my husband didn't have a father makes him even more determined to be the best daddy in the world when our little girl is born in April. He knows exactly what not to do, and he is going to be a great father. He has learned from his own dad's bad example, and he is a wonderful man and husband.

Making a blanket assumption like you have is incredibly ignorant, and I am sure there are many more people on here besides me who will take offense to it.