Am I being Fair? I have a 3 year old who I am desperately trying to potty train so I have offered him Chocolate each time he goes Potty. 1 lil piece of Chocolate if he pees' and 2 lil pieces of Chocolate if he goes poopy.
So, now my question is....I babysit a 5 year old lil girl sometimes and she wants a piece of candy too. I have told her that she is already potty trained and I am trying to teach my son to use the potty like a big boy and by him getting the candy is suposse 2be special 4 him.
Now if I give her candy or something to that effect too then I am not doing anything special for my son &he wont see the potty training thing as anything he wants to do if she gets something too.When Hes the one going potty & not her. Am I wrong?What should I do?
The mom said that her lil girl feels treated unfairly &she isn't trying 2have my son &her kid compete but she wants me 2go &buy her kid sweettarts or something so that when I give my son his chocolate reward her kid gets 1 too??
2007-03-09 03:42:03 · 10 answers · asked by krYpToNitEsMoM 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
It does seem unfair to the lil girl. If you give the lil girl some for also going to the bathroom, it may encourage your son to continue as well. Seeing someone else do it and getting rewards.. hes gonna wanna do the same. Good Luck
2007-03-09 04:00:42 · answer #1 · answered by nunya 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Although a 5 year old might understand about your reward system to help your son, it is still hurtful to her that she doesn't get any candy. Candy is like gold to kids. Perhaps you can give her little tasks to do so she can receive an award too. Although the mother should have offered to buy the candy for her daughter, in my opinion it's a small price to pay to keep the sanity around the house with the kids. Also, it's only temporary. I'm assuming once your son is potty trained, the rewards will stop. Good luck.
2007-03-09 13:35:20 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son is 5 and daughter is 3 if i do something for one i also do it for the other. The girl you babysit see's getting chocolate for going potty as a rule or just how it is at your house. I used m and m's to potty train. You can give just one or two, you can buy a big bag i don't think the added expense would be much or you could ask the parent to chip in or bring a bag. Chocolate is still special even if everyone gets some and not just you. Plus maybe this will show him to share. He will want to do it just to be like everyone else. You should be glad to have an older child around for him to learn from. The first born is always the hardest to train.
2007-03-09 12:22:46 · answer #3 · answered by noone 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Instead of chocolate as a reward make it stickers that you put on a chart and after he gets a certain amount of stickers like 10 then he gets a surprise, chocolate or whatever. Then with the 5 year old make a chart for her as well like for every time she helps you out or do something that you asked her to do she gets a sticker on her chart as well. Then after ten or so stickers she gets something special too. But the stickers also work the other way around, if your child has an accident he can have a sticker removed. Or if the 5 year old misbehaves she gets a sticker removed. You will be surprised how much a little sticker will mean to them.
This is a very good tool for the future too for chores and stuff.
2007-03-09 15:13:09 · answer #4 · answered by Peace 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad the candy works, but it was a mistake to start potty training with candy as the reward. Second, yes it's unfair to the little girl to see your son getting candy and she's not allowed to have any . I'd get her some candy to or find another reward for your son. Perhaps stickers, or a new hot wheel. I'm mom to 3.
2007-03-09 13:37:54 · answer #5 · answered by Melanie A 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being unfair. I have 3 year old twins and usually when I do something for one I have to do to the other too, but not this. I rewarded my girls too for going to the potty. And when one of my daughters would go she would get m&ms and my other daughter would want them and I said no, she is getting these for being a big girl and going potty. It seems unfair when you give one child something and not the other, but he is being rewarded and if he sees the little girl getting candy for doing nothing he is not going to understand why and will think he can get it anytime also. So be stern and tell her mother why you are doing this, and how it is helping your son get potty trained, I'm sure she went through the difficulties of potty training and she should understand.
2007-03-09 12:42:57 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You could always use the candy in sort of the same way for her too. If he gets it for going potty, then give her something to do also (kind of like a chore), and then if she gets it done, then she gets rewarded. That way your son will see that you have to do something, and do it right, in order to get the candy, and that way she won't be left out either.
2007-03-09 12:03:32 · answer #7 · answered by Sunibuni 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she's a big girl and doesn't need to be rewarded for using the potty.
Not everything in life is fair. This is how spoiled children are created.
Also point out things that she gets to do that your son isn't old enough to do and doesn't get to do yet. Maybe she gets to pick the programs you watch or she can colour with markers while your son has to use crayons or maybe she's allowed to use scissors, stay up later. Stuff like that.
She may not get chocholate, but she does get other perks.
2007-03-09 13:16:39 · answer #8 · answered by babypocket2005 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you don't do for her too you run the risk of causing her to regress into not being potty trained
2007-03-13 03:12:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand your ground.
2007-03-09 12:35:34 · answer #10 · answered by Lulu 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋