How to encourage 13yr old physically lazy girl into exercise? Follow up from mother.?

Question

I do lots of activities myself. We live in London, near River Thames. Walking along the river is wonderful. At long weekends we put the bikes on top of the car and drove away from London. Every weekend I ask her to come along for a bike ride or walk. She refuses. She prefers to stay home and do cooking instead. She does not watch TV almost at all. We like to go shopping together for hours on the weekends. However, going shopping cannot be the only solution.

One reply in the previous message contained "depression" which is now making me think. She has been suffering from terrible skin reactions (scaly and flaky), side effects of her bone marrow transplant 18 months ago. She is on immune suppressant drugs and steroids. I want to encourage her into exercise because I think it will contribute to her recovery and strengthen the immune system. Now thinking about it, she might as well be depressed therefore shows no interest. I think the only thing I can do is to keep trying. Make sense?

Answer 1

I am 17 and I know what it is like to sit around and be lazy, I wish I had more time like that. But a bike ride is also very relaxing to me when I get the chance to do it. I am in college early so I have so much time wound up in home work that I no longer have the time to ride like I used to. But I don't spend all my time on the computer or watching TV. When I am not doing home work I am cooking. I love to cook; in fact I want to be a chef. Right now I am on break at school and this is the main time I get on the computer.

If she likes the computer to much then unplug it. But if she is spending too much time in the kitchen do not discourage that. But try to encourage her in getting active. If she is only cooking then eating what she cooks then one day it will catch up to her and she will get fat. Believe me I know. I have to get some exercise every week because I was the same way your daughter was, and now I am gaining weight. So I am trying to loose weight by getting more active. If she wants some one to be a pen-pal on cooking and exercise then she can email me. I have done numerous presentations at the state level on biking, fitness, and cooking. I have come home with 3rd place twice and 4th place 3 times. So even though I am not the best in the state I am in the top 5.

Another thing to think about is why she does not want to ride the bike. Is the bike HER size? Or is it to big/small? If it is ether to big or too small it will be uncomfortable to ride. You could try getting her bike adjusted to fit her. Or you could try a new bike. When I got my last bike I went to a shop where they made sure that it fits me. (I also got a bike that costs as much as my brother's car but you don't have to go that far.) Take her bike to a shop for adjustment, or go buy a new bike so that she is happy with it. She might want to ride it more.

Answer 2

You might think about how and what she cooks. Is it sweets all the time? If so, can you get her to cook gourmet meals?

Depression might be it, or it might not. That's for a doctor to make the diagnosis. If you have any doubts, take her in. A full physical may help find out the answer.

It could just be that she doesn't have any interest in what you like to do simply because she's 13 years old and looking for a way to do something that will allow her to be on her own. This is normal for 13 year olds. They don't want to be with their mother all the time, but you are right. Shopping is not the only answer.

This is what I have tried and it worked for me. I told my daughter that I would pay for her to take swim lessons at a YMCA and she would do a specific job everyday. For me, it was washing dishes. It was a great arrangement, because she got her work done and learned how to swim. We were both quite happy.

You might be successful in asking her what she wants to be when she grows up. If she wants to be a cook, you could tell her that even cooks need to be strong enough to lift heavy pots all day long. If she is gets her exercise in the kitchen, would that be ok with you?

There is something else you might want to consider. Is she hurting herself? The kitchen has knives and she could be concealing her self-anger by cutting her forearms (or elsewhere on her body) a little bit here and there. Have you checked this out? Because if she's in the kitchen all the time, she could be doing more than just isolating herself. Rule this one out before going any further. If she is doing it, take a stand immediately. It means your girl is suicidal and so far, has been able to hide it from you successfully.

Answer 3

Could it maybe have any thing to do with the fact that she has been sick? Have you spoken to her doctor about her being out so much while on the immune suppressant drugs? Have you thought that maybe the steroids are what is affecting her weight?? Sound like she has had to deal with a lot in her short life.. maybe step back and give her time to recover maybe she is tried of thinking about being sick all the time? Just give her some room to recover and relax a bit. Do talk to the doctor about depression as she really might be having dealt with so much so young.

Answer 4

I think it very well could be depression, but you as her parent need to take control of the situation. There are better ways to deal with depression than sitting on the couch all day. Maybe you could start "Mall Walking" together. Usually before most of the shops open people go walking in the mall. You can use it as a time to plan your shopping trip and window shop.
Also, her medicines may be making her very tired. A bone marrow transplant and the following recovery can be very taxing on her body, making her feel tired. Perhaps you could speak with her doctor.

Answer 5

Why not encourage her, say that it will help make her better. Or take her for a treat afterwards. Maybe you could ask her to suggest something for the two of you to do that is outdoors. She just might not be interested in walking.

Answer 6

I would sign her up for a fun excercise class close by you. You can find a class like yoga, which would be good excercise and also fun. If you think she's depressed, take her to the doctor. He can perscribe her some anti-depressant medicine if needed. You could also talk to the doctor about her skin condition, and he might possibly be able to give you a cream for that, also.

Answer 7

Would she maybe like dancing or sports? She may just not be interested in the same things as you. However, if she continues to want to stay inside and to herself, I think you might like to have her see a therapist in case something may be troubling her. Also, another physical checkup might not be a bad idea.

Answer 8

Invest in a treadmill and get a personal trainer for her and say the doctor ordered it to aid in recovery. Do that until she developed proper habits for herself.

I hope that helps.

Answer 9

find something active she likes... no one wants to exercise if it isnt fun... maybe a sport between u andd her.. or maybe her friends.... maybe walking together and talking.... just get her out once and walk with her and talk with her, adn make the talk fun and interesting and entertaining, so she'll want to walk more with u.... or just plain walk more... i would kill to live near a river so i could walk there and look at the sights....

Answer 10

Make it fun and a family affair...........such as turning up the music and dancing together. take walks and eat healthier. she may just have slow metabolism........let her know she is beautiful this way she is not self conscience about her growing body