What Do I do About the Mother-In-Law??????

Question

im planning my outside wedding and she wont leave me alone about a church wedding. i tell her its my wedding so deal with it. everything she says is a lie. how do i get her to leave me alone about mine and her son's personal life?

Answer 1

tell her chruches weren't built for weddings, they are for worshipping God.

She will have to learn to back down because you are going to have a lot more "say so" in her son's life for now on. Be respectful towards her but firm. Be strong when you know you are right.

Answer 2

This is especially tuff. I have the same kind of mother in law, but my fiance and I have decided to do the wedding in the church and the reception and party outside. She is so uppity she still hates the idea of having the reception outside.

The key is to tell her what this is what you and your fiance want and that you have decided together. I actually got my fiance to tell her since it works best if it comes from her own son.

Then you need to make her feel involved some how in choices or in preperation, even if you are getting her to do things you will never use or need, at least she will be too busy and not realize you will not be using or needing it until the day and then it is too late.

Get her to make a guest list for your fiance's side of the family, you don't have to invite everyone on the list, but it helps you and it keeps her busy too. Get her to scout out the best price for specific items, this can be usefull too as well as keeping her busy. Things like that.

Thank god my mil lives 7 hours away, I feel for you though, I really do.

Answer 3

Try to avoid some of her phone calls and getting together with her. Dont be mean just be busy as you probably already are. Try to stay out of her way so than she cant say anything bad towards the wedding, if you dont tell her what is going on than she cant tell you that she doesnt like it. Dont inform her about anything really. Call her and talk about other things and than if she mentions about the wedding make up a excuse to get off the phone. This is your wedding its going to be the way you want it to be.
Congrats!!

Answer 4

I have a very similar mother-in-law. It's not very fun. You just have to remember not to take anything she says personally. Just remember that it is your wedding and you can do whatever you want regardless of what she says. The way that I got my mother-in-law to stop chiming in about every little detail is had my future husband talk to her because then she realized that the outdoor wedding was what he really wanted also. I was not talking him into anything. We are going through the whole thing again because we are expecting our first child now and the issues with her are starting all over again. Just stay strong and if she lies about everything (like my mother-in-law) don't believe her until it comes from the horses mouth.

Answer 5

It's really not your place to have to do that. Have a good talk with your fiance and tell him the problems you are having with his mom and her suggestions and ask him to tell her to back off. The wedding is between you and her son, not you and her. He should know how to deal with his mom. Also, just coming up with a comment when she makes one probably isn't working because she's not listening to you. In order for her to hear you you need to sit down at the kitchen table with no distractions and look each other in the eye and tell her what she's been doing and why it bothers you and ask her to stop. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 6

Just keep letting her words go in one ear and out the other and keep doing what you want about the wedding. If this woman will be in your life forever (at least for a very long time) you will either need to learn to dance to her music or tune her out. Now is a good time learn and practice.

Answer 7

Tell her that the whole world is God's cathedral and you want to be surrounded by all the beautiful things that He created as you take your wedding vows. Mother-In-Laws can be tricky, it got so that my fiance has nothing to do with his mother. You're in a tough spot that is going to require some very tough decisions. Your fiance needs to make clear that he doesn't want her so involved in your personal lives. Good luck. I understand exactly what you are going through.

Answer 8

The fiance talkin.. bad idea if he won't stand up to her... Make plans to meet over brunch/lunch to discuss the wedding.. Then sit her down and let her have it, but do it in a tactfu, respectful way. Let her know the it's not her wedding. She'll get mad, but in time will get over it. I am sooo glad that I didn't have that issue. My mother in law did show up in a navy blue suite.. something that I would wear to a funeral, but that's life.

Answer 9

have your fiance talk to her too. if the outdoor wedding is what both of you want, she needs to respect that. try not to be rude, this is a delicate relationship that needs to be nurtured, but tell her firmly that this is how its going to be. Maybe you could include her by seeking advice on an unrelated wedding matter like flowers, cake or invitation decisions. good luck!

Answer 10

Tell her that this is your wedding and you intend to have it meet your desires and wishes, not those of others. Let her know that you appreciate her input and concern, but that you are quite happy with your decisions. Then, find unique ways to include her. Take her shopping with you for your dress or flowers, ask her opinion, and then make your own decisions. If you make her feel included, she may give you the space you want. (Kinda reminds me of the movie "Monster-In-Law")