Decrease in libido after childbirth?

Question

I had my first baby in december, and as of now, I'm still not in the mood at all. My husband and I are getting desperate, please help!

Answer 1

Its so hard with a baby - with the constant waking and feeding and crying and diaper changing - its hard to imagine doing anything other than taking a nap when you get a few blessed minutes to do whatever you want. You barely have time to brush your teeth, let alone shower - who's sex drive wouldn't go down.

Once your baby is on more of a regular schedule and is able to play with toys and occupy themselves for a few minutes - usually around 6 or 7 months - you will feel like your life is starting to return to normal. Somewhere around the 7th or 8th month with each of my kids is when hubby and I started to reconnect.

If you are really concerned about it right now, then what you might need is some alone time. If you have a trusted family member or friend watch your little one then you and your hubby can get a few hours, or if you are real brave and aren't nursing, a whole night, to get back into the groove.

Good Luck!!

Answer 2

You're overwhelmed. You're exhausted. And you probably don't feel like you look as sexy as you did before childbirth. Is it any surprise that your libido might be down a little bit?

If you husband is truly serious about wanting to have an active sexual life again, there is something he can do to help you: He can help out more with the housework and childcare! If you have to spend less time doing dishes and diapers, you'll have more time to rest, relax, exercize, and yes, even play on occasion.

Also, remember that if you are still nursing, that will affect your hormonal levels, as well.

If your hubby starts pitching in and you start feeling a little less overwhelmed but you're still not in the mood, you might consider therapy and/or medication.

Best of luck!

Answer 3

I have both good news and bad news, depending from which side of things, but either way its good in the end.

What you are experiencing is normal. And it lasts some time, I can not tell you how long because it varies, maybe a few months to a few years but right now your body is in 'mission accomplished' mode, sorry if that sounds kinda rude but from the woman's side of things, it does make sense.

It is also a part of marriage, this lack of sex issue (is bs is what it is lol) but it is normal, you're not the first nor unfortunately the last couple to experience this, it's just not something most people talk about, but it is a good thing that you possess the ability to talk about it because a lot of folks do not (and that would be, to me, the worse of the evils is the silence, talk is good and essential to a strong marriage).

The good news is, your body will eventually exit its current mode and things will return to normal, so to speak, so it's not forever but it does take time and so patience is a virtue.

Answer 4

Well, after reading all the answers, i guess i was one of the lucky ones.

I never lost it! As soon as i was able to, we did, and it was great. Sure it felt a little awkward (i had a c-section and hadn't been doing much movement), but besides that, it was great.

I think in your situation, you need to find other ways of literally "feeding his need" (they do get like animals, don't they?).

Maybe try some oral sex, or use your hands. This will probably get him all worked up, and maybe after seeing his reaction to your touch, you'll get in the mood too. It's all about touching, and feeling it. You can't just jump on him and say let's go. Think of it as loosing your virginity again, you have to take it slow and move one step at a time. This way, he knows that you're trying, and not just denying yourself.

Don't try all that romantic dinner stuff, you don't have time to get yourself ready, nevertheless prepare a meal, feed and change a baby, get them to sleep, and then FORCING yourself to be in the mood. Doesn't work.

JUST TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME, SLOWLY BUT SURELY, IT WILL GET BETTER!

good luck!

Answer 5

I also had my first child recently, actually in September, but I'm still not in the mood either. Stress also plays a big factor too, with a new baby (especially the first) can take tolls on someone. Hang in there, it will come back soon, atleast that's what I'm hoping for too!

Answer 6

this is a pretty normal response, and its difficult to force the issue. your body doesn't "need" to reproduce right now, your probably pretty tired, baby noises get in your head so you are distracted-- normal stuff. suggestion- don't try so hard to be in the mood. quiet, cuddly moments, a foot massage or a shared bowl of ice cream can be very intimate.

Answer 7

I feel for you. I was the same after my first child. I never really got it back completely. I still struggled with it. I am now pregnant with my second and have lost it totally again. I hope after this one I will regain it. Maybe talk to your dr. Good luck.

Answer 8

It took me about 6 months to even have a slight interest in sex after I had my son. It takes time for your hormones to balance out and if you are breastfeeding it will take even longer. Just be patient. Try things other than intercourse. Extended foreplay can be just as satisfying. You just need to let him know he is still important to you.

Answer 9

I lost my sex drive for almost ayear. When I weaned my daughter it came back. My doctor told me that for a lot of women there sex drive will go down with nursing. I did a little research and basically our sex drive is there so that we will re-produce. When you are pregnant/nursing there is no need to re-produce so it goes away for some women. It comes back once we have weaned our little one so we can have another baby. It makes sense.

Answer 10

There is a natural biological rhythm to procreation and a bodily reaction to any trauma, including childbirth. Your body is assisting you to control your output of offspring.